Flirting 101

[galaxy71]

I think Locke was a little lenient toward the women in this thread. Guys who are experienced with women always tell inexperienced guys that they need to learn how to touch women when they are interacting them. Who should guys listen to? Guys who have dated and slept with large numbers of women or women who don't know what it is like to initiate and start a relationship. Over and over again, I have noticed that guys attributed their success with women through touching women. These guys knew that the only way they could go from being platonic to romantic with a girl was by touching her. Women feel comfortable when the guy takes the lead.

 

A major reason why guys in this forum have problems with women is the fact that they are too passive rather than too aggressive around women. They have been brainwashed by women into thinking they can win over the girl by being nice and polite. But that doesn't win over the girl. Instead, the guys who are aggressive and willing to push the boundaries are the ones who are dating and sleeping with the girl.

 

I go by what women do, not what they say.

[ghost69]

you don't have to be totally aggressive. that will freak out a chick. just show some attention and listen for a bit. most women can't find guys to listen to them talk about the junk they talk about. lol. but keep the eye contact. don't stare at them the whole time though. kind of freaky.

[caro33]

I go by what women do, not what they say.

 

Well what I would do if some guy I barely knew started stroking me, is pull away and go talk to some other, less sleazy seeming guy. This is what almost every woman I know would do also.

 

This is beyond what Locke initially suggested by the way, which was reasonable enough with qualifications. I agree that unless someone can bring themselves to touch the other in some way the relationship is unlikely to go anywhere. Etc etc. I don't disagree with aspects of the original suggestion, just wanted to add that caution is utmost and it depends on the timing and the woman.

 

What I object to is the attitude that's come from some guys since then. I just find it laughable that you can come on here and suggest what women want is determined by men and to ignore what the women themselves say. Yes, very smooth. That goes down well with the ladies.

[ghost69]

touching has a limit. if i was starting to feel a girl i might make a move with the arm around the shoulder. just a quick nudge closer. it's slick. then drop my arm. very quick too.

[Northalius]

Locke, if you were a woman, and heard of many rape cases out there, you'd be just as defensive.

 

Then again, someone can take it further, and say "Hey, I like touching someones private parts when talking to them! Just for fun, not sexual! You don't like this? Lighten up! It's natural!"

 

And where would it end?

 

There are levels to everyone's personal boundaries! The right thing to do, is to learn that you've got to respect that... with understanding.

 

If they don't like it, don't bother trying to talk them out of it. It's like someone saying you're uptight because you won't have sex with anyone you bump into on the street; whether they're 10 or 95. Then someone more extreme than they are will say something even crazier. It goes on and on.

 

Again, just learn to understand and respect others' boundaries.

[ghost69]

when a woman grabs my booty, i turn around like wth. then i laugh and think it is funny. if i was to just do that to a woman, *SLAP*