Friends at College

[StarShine27]

I'm a sophomore at a very large (40,000 ppl) college, and I feel pretty lonely here at times. I know a lot of people here and I can always find something to do, but I'm still not completely happy here. College just isn't what I thought it would be. I always heard that you meet your "lifelong" friends at college, but I don't feel like that at all. I feel like I have lots of aquantinces but not many good friends. And the good friends I have, I honestly get annoyed with and feel I don't have a lot in common with. I am in marching band here so I know a lot of people and most of my friends have come from that. I am in a band sorority, and I am also joining a social sorority. However, I am beginning to wonder if I made a mistake because the social sorority I am joining has only 20 or so girls in it, no house (which doesn't really bother me) and everyone in my pledge class is a freshman. I got a bid from a large (80 girl) sorority but I turned it down (I'd have to live in their house the next 2 years, which I do not want to do), and I am beginning to wonder if I made a mistake. I am not a huge party person which is partly why I turned it down. I go to parties sometimes, but not as much as some of the Greek people do..... I also just switched majors, so I don't know anyone in my major. Sorry if none of this makes sense, I'm just writing what comes to me....

Basically.....

I feel like I don't have a lot of real friends. I thought I'd meet people I have lots in common with here, but I really haven't. I feel like everyone here has a lot of good friends, and I don't. When I look at Facebook pictures and stuff of people they're always like "I love my girls!"" etc etc and I don't have that kind of thing with anyone here. I do not hate the school, so I do not want to transfer. I am afraid that when I'm a junior, nobody will want to make new friends....that everyone will (or already is) in their little "groups." I'm also very worried about next year because my best friend here is transferring for money reasons. I don't know what to do. I just want good friends I love as much as the ones I have back home.

[thyroxine]

I honestly can't help you, but I'd love to hear the responses for this! I'm in the same boat - only I'm a senior! (Yeah...I'm going to be one of those Super Seniors I know so many people on campus and I'm involved in a number of groups...but I'm still so alone. A lot of it probably comes from my being a quiet person. But seeing the "I love my girls!" or "Girl's Night!" pictures...it makes me wonder what I do wrong. Last year I honestly didn't have a free minute to spend with people because I was literally either at work or at school.

[StarShine27]

Can't anyone help us? Please?

[Alabama]

All I can suggest is maybe try to get to know people who are possibly in the same major you are, maybe go to clubs (if that interests you) or try to join any college clubs that interest you. Socialzing can be difficult, but it's possible; the most important thing of course is to remember to be yourself, as cliche as that sounds. Just try to talk with people maybe in your class and see if you can't find a connection (common interest) to develop chemistry. Good luck.

[loverallalone]

I duno if this helps any -- but I'm a senior and used to believe that I did surround myself with good company, good life-long friends for life.

 

it might possibly be the weather, or the fact the its mid-terms and i've been really stressed out about post-graduation plans, but I can tell you right now -- my friends have not been around... or in the way i'd like them to be.

 

Sometimes i feel like it might partially be my fault.. that I distance myself from others on purpose for one reason or another. Maybe that may be your case? Are you really putting yourself out there? Are you truly making an attempt to connect with others on a deeper level beyond just the superficial? It takes a bit of trust in other people, but I feel its necessary in making the connections your seeking. Because at this point, I'm sorta lacking in that aspect right now -- I don't seem to trust anyone enough to tell them about my fears and concerns.. and its been lonely. really lonely.

 

Hope that help! .. and I'm sure you'll come accross those life-long buddies you're looking for -- you still have 2+ years. TRUST!

[therealshrek]

join a club/group that centers around the same interests as you. for example, I'm part of a car crew and have made some good friends from it. several of the guys from it go to the same college as i do and we meet up at least once a week to do dinner and talk cars

[StarShine27]

I have friends in the clubs I am in, but I still feel lonely. They're not like my friends from home. I think it would help if I had friends in my classes, but I recently switched majors and I don't know anybody. Plus, my classes are huge so nobody really talks to each other unless they already know someone in the class.....

[therealshrek]

I have friends in the clubs I am in, but I still feel lonely. They're not like my friends from home. I think it would help if I had friends in my classes, but I recently switched majors and I don't know anybody. Plus, my classes are huge so nobody really talks to each other unless they already know someone in the class.....

 

ahh i feel ya on that. yeah the friends i have from the car club are kool, but nothing like my friends from home. i dont really have anything to say on that because, well, i havent made any friends at my college that can hold a candle to my friends from home.

[StarShine27]

My sophomore year will be ending which means I'll be a junior! I'm really nervous about making new friends next year

[Rishu]

I feel like I don't have a lot of real friends. I thought I'd meet people I have lots in common with here, but I really haven't. I feel like everyone here has a lot of good friends, and I don't. When I look at Facebook pictures and stuff of people they're always like "I love my girls!"" etc etc and I don't have that kind of thing with anyone here

 

I know so many people on campus and I'm involved in a number of groups...but I'm still so alone. A lot of it probably comes from my being a quiet person. But seeing the "I love my girls!" or "Girl's Night!" pictures...it makes me wonder what I do wrong.

 

Both of you sound exactly like me, just that I am a junior..