sad and ugly... but kinda nice

[maddox79]

i stumbled upon this page by accident while at work and it seemed kind of interesting.

i am a 23 year old female and i have been miserable pretty much my entire life. i am not attractive, i am not going to lie about that. i know that online you can be whoever you want to be, but maybe it might be nice to just be real for once. i dont know why i am writing this. i dont know what i am doing. i dont expect responses or anything, but i know that statistically, if you feel something, there are probably others out there that also feel it.

its new years eve. this will be the 4th year in a row that i shaft friends and do nothing.

its funny kind of because i am pretty ugly and i am overweight but i do have a lot of friends and usually have been able to get any boy i wanted but its very unfulfilling. i have never been satisfied with myself. i guess that is the problem.

well my sleeves are covered in tears and snot (sorry) and i guess i am just writing this for myself anyway.

if you are reading this- have a hapy new year and be safe.

[mjones.uk]

Hey Maddox,

 

I'm a 27 year old male and I consider myself pretty attractive, but I'm spending New Years Eve on my own, for the first time in 7 years.

 

My girlfriend finished with me a few days before Xmas, and I have had the worst week of my entire life so far. So you can forget about all that 'I'm ugly' 'I'm overweight' stuff, because it dont matter baby!

 

You've already said you can have any boy you want, and you have lots of friends, so you're beating me already - wish I could have any girl I want - wish I had lots of friends!

 

I think your main problem is your own perception of yourself. If you see yourself as ugly and fat, you're going to project that image to others.

 

You're obviously a popular person and I bet you're the life and soul of the party. I'd love to know more people like you - you think an attractive, but boring bimbo is fun?? Only for about 3 seconds!

 

None of us are perfect in any way and those that think they are, are so insecure they must be crazy jealous of someone like you!

 

Maddox, please buy the book "Awake the Giant Within" by Anthony Robbins, which will help you understand who you are and what you want, and I will leave you with some quotes from the book "Dare to Connect" by Susan Jeffers:

 

"We agonize over society's definition of physical 'flaws' that have nothing to do with finding people we love."

 

"When are we ever going to get it into our heads that looks play a very small part in our ability to create a loving relationship with members of the opposite sex?"

 

"I look at my husband and I see only beauty in him...despite the physical flaws he sees in himself. My husband looks at me and sees only beauty... despite the physical flaws I see in myself. Amazing when you consider I've had a masectomy!..."

 

"We shouldn't worry about someone judging our bodies, because everyone else is too busy worrying about their own!"

 

I hope you have a Happy New Year Maddox!

[eterna2]

Happy late new year!

Be happy. I've being spending every single new year eve, christmas day, birthday, practically any holidays alone at home in front of my pc (since I have one, before tat I just stare at the window) since I was 7.

 

My last bday party was when I was 7. 24 now, still alone and bored. Not much friends to say of, hardly anyone one care if I'm dead or alive except when they need my help (other than my parents and bro). So I'm all alone, and predicting to be so for the next few decades or so, until maybe I die of some silly sickness. (My health aren't really good and I doesn't really care either).

 

hahhaa just writing for myself too. Sometimes life's such a chore. Sometimes sad, why do I always have to write a sad poem for myself on my bday. All alone. Ha. Some are popular some are not. I'm neither. I'm just nice to have around, but no one ever notice me, always got left behind.

 

Tried a few times, no one ever notices I'm not around anymore. Forgot that they left me behind. Alone. Cuz they too bz enjoying themselves.

 

So I walk alone. And maybe I die alone. But I have the sky and the earth to accompany me. Peace.

[anon_0275]

I think Mjones hit it right on the head! Your perception of yourself seems to be the biggest stumbling block you've encountered thus far. Believe me when I say confidence in oneself is far more important than the looks themself. If I had a choice between someone who most would view as attractive, yet unconfident of themself, or someone who may have average looks with an amazing confidence and love for life, my choice would easily be the one with confidence and love for life!! So grow that love of yourself and for life; you are virtually guaranteed happiness for yourself and those around you!

[omo851]

i am normally such a lively outgoing person and have never had to look on the internet for any kind of help ever before. in fact only a few months ago i had a life that most would be envious of. i had lots of friends a beautiful girlfriend for 4 years whom i loved and whom loved me i was doing well at uni and had no money problems as i had just switched jobs to one i was happy with. the only problem was that my parents both had cancer but it was undercontrol.

 

Then in October the problems started, my girlfriend had always wanted a puppy and i always said i would get her one when we got our own flat but since i was at uni for another year i couldnt move out of my parents because of only having a part-yime job. So for her birthday i got her this puppy which cost 350 quid, not much for a dog i know but consider my monthly income is about 300 before tax then i have to pay rent and car stuff ect. Shortly after my Dad got test results back which showed he now had 3 more lumps in his lung and one in his liver (he had previously had two ops on lungs and bowel) this came as a shock still, my mum didnt take this news very well and since having a type of blood cancer herself took a bad spell and became fairly week. Days after my girlfriend told me she had cheated on me, i asked to take a break for a few days to sort myself out (i had not told her about my parents becoming ill again) after a few days i decided to forgive her as i loved her and couldnt be without her. She told me that she had enjoyed being on her own and didnt want to get back together. I then spent the rest of october not doing much barely coming out.

 

In november my life got better, my friends picked me up and i started to enjoy myself including attention from other females. At this point i was still friends with my ex,

 

Then in December i started getting texts from my ex saying did i wanna go to the cinema ect, since we were still friends i went, film was crap but after we talked for hours and got quite close, in the next week i saw her a few times and had a good time ,each time getting closer. Then one night i bot a text from her, she had been out with her work friends and had a few to drink, she text me and asked me to come to hers. i went to hers and we talked and cuddled and ended up having sex. After we talked and cuddled like we always used to, needless to say i thought that soon we were going to get back together. a few days later it was xmas eve and i had been out with my friends and was a little drunk. She was there and i was chatting to her buying her drinks and complimenting her on her clothes ect. But about 11 i heard that she was outside kissing one of my friends (not best friends but one i trusted) he isnt really to blame as i had kept our meeting secret. I went home on my own before xmas came and cryed myself to sleep. For the next week i only went out of my house for work.

 

Its now new years eve and i am on my own, my friends are at a party but she is there and cant face being in the same room as her as i dont want to start a scene, my friends think i am over reacting as they dont know about our meetings and because we broke up two months ago. i know i should tell them but i cant as it hurts to much. I have nothing left here for me and i would go away somewhere but cant because of uni. i am so depressed and lonely. i have never been on my own in my adult life i am 20 and met her when i was 16. Xmas was so hard and its just getting worse.