Tired of it all

[BoddenProBowler06]

Lately I've been feeling really down about my life. It seems like there's nothing in my life that's going right at the moment.

 

I can't get myself motivated for college anymore. This weekend I planned on doing a lot of homework and studying for my tests that are on Wednesday, but I ended up doing nothing. I pretty much spent my weekend on the internet and sleeping. My grades during the first semester were great, but right now I'm getting C's and D's. When I'm in class I just lose my train of thought and sometimes fall asleep. I'm not even sure if I want to do the major I'm in right now. I have scholarships that depend on my grades and when I think about my screw ups this semester, it's almost like it's too late for me to recover in my mind.

 

I feel tired all the time. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get, I still feel the same way. This messes up my concentration and I get off task easily.

 

I recently moved out of my parents house and got my own place. It's nice and I feel independent, but it just feels like there's something missing. I feel so alone and worry about things way too much. I can't stand it.

 

I've lost contact with all my old friends and really don't talk to anyone in college. I'm shy so it's hard for me to initiate and keep up conversations.

 

But what I hate the most right now is how I feel with my girlfriend. She's a great girl and I love her so much, but she's wild and I'm shy. I'm worried that because of this I'll lose her to some crazy guy. She has a lot of friends and whenever I see her talking to another guy, I get worried. If I lost her I don't think I'd want to live anymore.

 

Seriously, I can't stand this anymore. I need some advice.

[Blackhawk2009]

u kno wat i feel exactly the same way as u up until the moving out of house part, the girlfriend part since i dont have 1, and the old friends part...but im going thru teh same thing in college as u..im doin so bad in all my classes and im second guessing my major

[Boughs]

But what I hate the most right now is how I feel with my girlfriend. She's a great girl and I love her so much, but she's wild and I'm shy. I'm worried that because of this I'll lose her to some crazy guy. She has a lot of friends and whenever I see her talking to another guy, I get worried. If I lost her I don't think I'd want to live anymore.

 

Seriously, I can't stand this anymore. I need some advice

 

This mode of thinking is going to get you in serious trouble. In a relationship, remember you are in it for yourself as much as you are in it for your partner. What I'm saying is, you CAN do things without her. Do you remember what it was like to be single? You could just go out to a party and not call anyone and just enjoy yourself... come back at 4, and wake up without any obligations or worries.

 

Firstly what you need to do is, become more outgoing. Although you have no motivation, you have to push yourself. Working out helps do a NUMBER of things:

 

Builds confidence

heightens your energy

keeps you in shape, so you can keep your energy high.

 

When you are strong physically, it can affect everything you do mentally. If you build confidence in your look, in yourself, and have the ability to do so, you will notice your social abilities to get better.

 

If your GF asks "What are you doing right now" try not to say "nothing". Say "working out in a few minutes". You need to show her you are independent and ambitious. Crazy people end up having crazy ideas (That we all have) but have the motivation and the craziness to perform them. I think you need to simply push yourself into conversations more. Sacrifice some self image to discover social tips... otherwise you'll never progress.

[emma34]

I read this article at work all the time, and it pushes me to become more outgoing and sociable since like you, i am naturally very shy. The article is entitled "Even fake smiling increases satisfaction at work". So I mean, sometimes we get trappd in our feelings and absorbed in our failures, but heres what i say: see socializing and working at school and everything else as a JOB, not an option. Just do it - and it will boost your mood.

 

I give advice, but these are things I am working on myself. I TOTALLY relate to the having no friends @ college and feeling empty after moving out of parents house. I suggest volunteering - it's one of those things that really makes you feel good about urself, and u can make some friends too.

 

The thing with your girlfriend is a tough situation. I relate to this in a way as well. She will do whatever is right for her, and the fact that she stays with you suggests she cares about you...and while you are different in that she is more 'wild' and u are more 'shy' quite possibly shes not looking for someone like her - shes looking for someone like you. yanno?

 

With the school thing...try to get motivated. Think of all the good that will come when you succeed! Say to yourself - DO IT!!!!

 

If you feel like you cant get yourself out, don't feel bad about asking for help. Go to your college - i'm sure there are peer groups or counselling centres that probably work specifically with students that are having personal/career choosing/school problems.

 

good luck

[BoddenProBowler06]

Thanks for the great replies guys. I appreciate it. You guys are right, I just need to get myself motivated somehow.

 

I woke up today with a new attitude. I just told myself that I seriously need to get my act together. As soon as I woke up I ran a mile on the treadmill and lifted some weights in the basement to get my energy level up. As for school, it has been rough this semester but there's still about 3 months left. I can bring my grades up. I'm going to try my hardest these last few months and make the best of it.

 

As for my girlfriend, she has told me in the past that me being shy is a good thing. It just feels like it's not to me, you know? Maybe I'm just overreacting here.