What has changed most about you since your affair?

[fortywhatever]

For me, it is that I lost trust in people. It is hard for me to even trust my husband and I have no reason what so ever to doubt him, EVER. ( He trusts me totally, and he & I worked thru the affair, discussed it and are past it as a couple.) I think I am just scarred from the affair that way.

 

The x affair partner lied to me and played the manipulation game so much, there for alittle while I held so tight to a false hope, believing his every word till one day the light buld in my head went off, big time. I fooled myself into thinking he meant everything he said. I was so wrong. Life is better without him in it.

[studio781]

fortywhatever,

 

How long did you have an affair with this man and what was he doing to manipulate you?

[radioheader]

hang in there 2600degrees...one day at a time...i think that if your marriage doesn't work out, you will find someone you can trust in time...at least that is what i keep holding on to..but i also know that if my marrige doesn't work, i will enjoy just having "me" time...i used to dread that but the more i think about it the more comfort i have in just being alone to get to know myself better...i've spent so much on this marriage and trying to keep us together for the last few years that i really need to reclaim who i am deep inside...but i also know that i can do that married if i chose...i've already started by getting a part-time job (that is big b/c i haven't worked in 13 years since our first was born)...and it feels great!

 

you will feel better...no need to lower your expectations for the entire human race...we are not all bad! ;-)

[kermit]

Sadly, I would have to say that I've sort of given up on the concept of happiness. I thought with my affair partner I was headed in the right direction. How wrong I was.

 

Now I feel like I'm stuck and there is no point even trying anymore.

[radioheader]

sure anytime...that is what we are all here for...i'm sorry that you are losing the humor in life...i hope that is only temporary....but if you truly feel the problems in the marriage are becoming too much and there is no light at the end of the tunnel, could it be time to get out? i now that is such a hard call to make...esp. if you have kids.