ugh, PLEASE....tell me what I should do.

[strawberry]

Hi everyone,

just to get the basic gist of what im about to complain about refer to my post about my guy friend from work.

Ok, since then, which has been about a month and a half....we've become SO CLOSE. it doesnt seem normal to me. At first I thought he was gay...but then hes talked about his exgirlfriends around me a lot...and it doesnt sound like hes lying. I dont know.

The thing is, it doesnt seem like "just" friendship. I get so many mixed signals. Whenever we hang out (usually at his place) we have some cocktails, listen to music...and sometimes he'll make elaborate dinners for me....buy wine etc. Lately (the last few times Ive been over) we've ended up lying together on his bed, under the covers, with my head on his chest and his arm around me. I usually fall asleep and he'll make comments like, "I could tell my company really interests you" but we're just friends so it shouldnt bother him.

He knows, or at least knew at one point in the past that I liked him. Its been 2 months since my boyfriend and I broke up. For awhile I thought he liked me, but then he mentioned something to me about one of our colleagues asking him or teasing him about liking me and his response, which he told me was "there is nothing between us." Its honestly driving me insane. We decided, even a week ago, to promise to go on a trip together this summer to visit his parents and go to NYC...just the two of us because his mom wants to meet me?

He also told my dad, whom he met a few weeks ago that he has never met anyone like me.....he has never connected with someone on so many levels in his life than he does with me. He also bought me valentines day presents and a card. We say I love you in a serious way all the time....and he always gives me kisses on the cheek or neck when saying goodbye. sometimes we walk down the street with our arms around each other.

 

This is why its a problem. Im abs. CRAZY about him and I feel like hes taking me for a ride. Its starting to show too. The last night I was there, I woke up in his arms angry. I realized that my fantasy of us being together was never going to amount to anything, or so I believe. I left kinda annoyed but tried to play it off. I decided to put some space between us for the sake of my sanity. But he kept calling/texting. Today he asked me if I was upset with him on the way home from work....I chickened out and said no...I mean what can I say? I dont want to freak him out. We made plans to go out to dinner and watch a movie at his place tomorrow but theres a part of me thats resisting. Hes my best friend.....but is this best friend behavior? Whats odd is that when I told him I was interested 3 months ago, he told me he was very attracted to me, but it couldnt work whatever that means.....(hes 7 years older than me if that may have something to do with it.) Hes just SO affectionate....What should I do??? please help...I feel like im losing it.

[southerngirl]

Tell him how you feel. You have nothing to lose. If he is spending allt his time wit you and laying with you in bed falling asleep....... it would seem like maybe he shares the same feelings for you. Maybe he is just shy to speak of those feelings, so why dont you bring it up to him?

[strawberry]

I want to tell him....but hasnt he made it clear through his words that he sees me as more of a sister....but then I think about the laying together like you mentioned. I just dont want to repeat myself and seem obsessive.

[southerngirl]

Ahh but you could never get what you want if you dont say it.

[Honey Pumpkin]

You have cocktails at his place and fall asleep in his arms? Don't mean to be rude, but it's not hard - make a move on him, sort of sleepily. See if he responds. Then have the discussion the next day if he does, to see if he wants to date properly.

 

I'm not sure, to be honest. But give it a go.

 

Good luck!

[strawberry]

my fear is that he wont respond and it will be so AWKWARD. wouldnt he make a move on me by now if he was interested?

[Honey Pumpkin]

my fear is that he wont respond and it will be so AWKWARD. wouldnt he make a move on me by now if he was interested?

 

Yeah, that's why you make the move when you're half asleep and a bit drunk - can always claim you were dreaming about Brad Pitt!

 

Okay, the proper grown-up advice is to sit down and talk to him about it. But I would personally go for plan A, because I'm a big fluffy chicken. Either way, do something! You'll drive yourself mad otherwise.