Could use some advice

[Podder]

So basically, there is this girl that lives 6 hours away. We met a month ago when she was in town and have only kissed.

 

She returned for a work trip and we met up for dinner and a drink. When I showed up she was there with about 6 of her work colleagues. I thought we were going to join her friends, but she suggested that we eat alone. (I take it that is a good sign?) After a few drinks, I walked her back to her hotel and she asked for me to get another drink with her at the hotel bar (didn't go for the kiss but should have).

 

We talked everyday on the phone after that for 3 days straight. One of the nights, her roomate was annoyed with her phone chats so she quickly ended it with me and texted me that she was sorry but hoped to talk again soon. I told her it was no problem. But now I haven't heard from her for 2 days.

 

1. Am I am being impatient?

2. She is 23 and still lives at home. How does that work if I come to visit her?

3. It happens to be my brother's girlfriend's best friend. Is that weird?

 

Thanks

[LostInMyThoughts]

1. Not really being impatient. Have you tried to call her, or text her? She could be waiting to see if you call her as a sign of your interest.

 

2. It depends. She might let you crash with her, or you might have to get yourself a hotel room.

 

3. No thats not weird. Just know that it *could* complicate things if your brother breaks up with his girlfriend, and you still are dating her. But nothing you shouldn't be able to handle.

[Podder]

Thanks for the help.

 

I haven't contacted her except for the quick text the night she ended the phone conver so abrupty. I felt like it was up to her since she was the one that had to go.

 

Now that I think about it, I remember her saying that her dad is really protective, so I don't think staying at her place is a good idea if I go to visit. Plus she seems like a really good/innocent girl.

 

I am kind of embarrassed to tell my brother and his GF that I want to go visit her on a weekend. They have no idea about any of this.

[ghost69]

2 days isn't much. don't harass her if she has stuff going on in her life too. you said she was out with coworkers so she must have some kind of busy job. wait until the weekend and give her a call. see what she is up to. i usually don't talk to chicks during the week.

 

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[Mun]

Why are you embarrassed to tell your brother and the gf about the girl? I'd think they would be happy for you.

 

She lives at home and has a roomate? I don't understand....

[Podder]

I don't know. It just feels weird. But yes I am sure they wouldn't really mind. It is hard to play low key, because I know whatever I say to my brother or his GF could easily be passed on to her. Thoughts that I really don't want to reveal.

 

Her roomate/housemate is her sister. I am so used to saying roomate from my college years, sorry.

 

Yes she has a very busy and demanding job that requries her to travel a lot.

[Podder]

Called her up tonight and had a great talk on the phone. She wasn't even home from work yet and it was late!

 

I always seem to go after these woman that work like crazy....it almost makes me laugh. It is so true how people go after people with the same qualities at others they have dated. Well at least that seems to be the trend for me. Or maybe it is just the age (early 20's) of the woman I am dating.

[ghost69]

so what happened? are you hanging out? got a date? going to see her, she coming to see you? don't leave us hanging here.

 

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[Podder]

Everything is good so far. We talk on the phone several times a day. And we made plans to see eachother next weekend. I am going to visit her. We still haven't told her friend or my brother about things yet, but plan to do so soon.

 

The initial stages of getting to know a new girl are great!! But I need to remember to guard my heart a little more. I have a tendency to jump into things.

 

I'll keep posting if this is interesting or useful, but I thought it might be non-eventful to others.

[ghost69]

yeah, don't jump the gun

 

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[Podder]

An UPDATE:

 

I went to visit her this weekend and stayed at her house. We had a great time. Explored all around her city, watched movies, went to the bars and got a hotel downtown for one night.

 

She seemed really reserved when it came to intimacy compared to all the other girls I have dated, but maybe it is just soon. This was really only the 3rd time we have been together. But we did spend 3 solid days together this weekend. Finally started giving good bye kisses and holding hands by the end of the weekend.

 

At this point I am not sure if there is the possibility of a relationship or just casual dating when we are visiting each other's city. We didn't set anything up to see each other again. Although I told her she is welcome to come visit me next weekend. And she has business here in a month or so. hmmmm???

 

Oh and don't you guys love coming back to work on Monday after an amazing weekend with an amazing girl.....talk about depressing...haaa

[ghost69]

it sounds like it is going well. try pushing for more now. you spent 3 days together. you don't just do that with a friend.

[Podder]

What do you mean push for more now? She calls me everyday and she knows I am interested and she makes it failyclear that she is interested by calling.

 

But I felt like I was the one that was always trying to hold her hand or kiss her all weekend. Maybe that is just the man's job and the woman's job to resist if she isn't into it. I guess it just feels like we at the highschool intimacy level. And she is in her early 20's.

 

I told her she needs to come visit soon. So she hinted to me that she is free in 3 weeks and is going to plan a flight to visit.

[Cooperstown]

I just had an incredible weekend just like that so I know what you mean, seems like they are playing hard to get but once there in your arms they melt. Man what a feeling.

[ghost69]

push for more than a hug or kiss.

[Podder]

OK. I will let you know how it goes....

[ghost69]

anything yet?

[Podder]

Unfortunately no......I haven't been able to see her. But she is coming to visit soon. We talk on the phone everday though.

[ghost69]

i think if you like each other enough, have hooked up and what not, you should display it. see what she thinks. it's your life, you shouldn't hide anything.