Help! What should I do!

[mr_echo]

Stats: 17 days post break up / Day 5 of NC / 6 month relationship

 

My tale of woe:

 

I'm beginning to have a major readjustment in my feelings for my Ex. Last night I discovered that she has helped herself to various of my possessions. Some are small things, such as the laptop mouse and webcam. One item though is of sentimental value to me. I know this sounds ludicrous but she has taken my mum's suitcase. My mum died 2 years ago from a brain tumour and the day before she died in the nursing home she suddenly had a moment of lucidity and said that she would pack her suitcase and come back home to me. The next day she died. I want this item back but the Ex is not talking, communicating or anything. The thing is the Ex could have taken any suitcase but she took that one. I was even considering giving her the laptop as an exchange. I am so upset by all of this. It's clear she has no respect.

 

 

[shadow34]

Hi Mr Echo

 

I am sure on this occasion you can break no contact to get your suitcase back and hopefully if she is any decent person she would talk to you about this.

 

Perhaps it was an error in judgement, give her the benefit of the doubt.

Can a mutual friend or someone else collect it for you??

 

It sounds to me like my ex, blames everyone else for everything and never themselves. Unflortunately some people never learn.

 

I am sorry you are hurting, but if its possible a short call or perhaps a letter not stating anything about your relationship, but that you hold the suitcase dearly because of the death of your mother and you would really like her to return it. Maybe even offer a suitcase in its place.

 

But borrowing money like that and dumping you Im sorry is just disgusting.

 

I hope you can get the item

[mr_echo]

Hi shadow,

 

I hope the weather in oz is better than the emotional climate in my house at the moment!

 

We don't have any mutual friends - she has her polish friends and I have my english friends. So that's not an option. I'm worried that if I sent her a txt message about this she will interpret it wrongly. And then what? I think part of all of this is about her controlling me... i dunno :sad:

[shadow34]

Hey Mr echo

 

I completely agree. Dont send her a text message, I dont think text messages are real good, trust me Ive had a lot of problems caused through text messages.

 

Ok so you dont have any mutual friends. But if you were so close with her family, is it possible you could discuss the matter with them?? If not I recommend sending a regsitered letter. As I said brief, tactful and to the point of the matter that it holds sentimental value to you.

 

Ok if she is in Poland how are you going to get it??? If she needs to post it, I would suggest offering to pay the cost ( BUT FOR GODS SAKE DONT SEND HER ANY MONEY YOU CAN PAY THE POST DIRECTLY HEHE ) of her sending it back to you.Then she has no worries with being able to afford to or whatever excuse she may come up with.

 

It sounds to me, after reading through all of your posts that my friend you really have been taken for a ride. Im sure she cared about you, Im not implying in anyway you meant nothing to her. I simply mean that you are obviously a caring, generous and giving person and she took full advantage of that.

 

I know you must be in a lot of pain emotionally and probably feel it financially as well, doesnt matter if you have lots of money or little, its still a huge kick in the guts.

 

I think its an important time for you to take a deep breathe and to start focusing on your needs for now. You spend so much time, as do all of us here, focusing on her what she may be feeling how she made you feel the hurt and the pain, its not a good way to feel by any means.

 

As hard as it is, my friend I think its time to try and put this behind you. If it is meant to be it will prevail in the end. Have faith in yourself, have belief that you are a wonderful person and that these are her issues. You did not cause her to do these things to you in anyway and just because she left so abruptly doesnt mean your unloveable at all.

 

So keep smiling and dont give her the satisfaction of her sitting there thinking " I bet hes a mess".

 

Did you know, a positive thought is 1000 times more powerful than a negative thought and thats a scientific fact ...

 

Hugs my friend, remember this is a place where you can come to in your hour of need and we are all here waiting with big hugs for you...

[mr_echo]

Thanks shadow - you're telling me exactly what I need to hear.

 

If she's in Poland I'm afraid I don't really have her address - she's removed everything personal off the laptop. If she's still here all I know is she may still be working in the restaurant over the road - so there's a possibility I could ask someone there (when she's not around). All I have otherwise is her mobile number. She's obviously been planning this for awhile.

 

I know I've been taken for a huge ride and she's probably laughing. Weirdly she doesn't see that she's done anything wrong.

 

Anyway, I'm off to the gym for the first time in a year to take my mind off things for a few hours.