Feeling lonely

[dragonzeyez]

Hi. I have been single for 3 months now. For the first 2 months I was ok, but now I am feeling terribly lonely and depressed. I do not miss my x, I have been over her for the last 2 months, but I miss having someone, I miss being in love, and I miss being loved. I feel I need to meet someone to get out of this depression, and over the last month I have been dating a lot. But every girl I meet does not even come remotely close to meeting my standards. I do not have high standards, but it just seems noone ever meets them. I get the feeling that there simply is no girl out there that I will be both mentally and physically attracted to, I just can't help but feel this way. I would give anything to meet a girl that does not smoke and is in relatively decent health (meaning not too over weight, but not necessarily perfect). Tell me, are these standards too much? Am I too picky for wanting someone that does not smoke? God I am so lonely. I just need to be heard.

[Caldus]

Not at all. I've seen much much much pickier people (and to tell the truth, I think a lot of people ask for the impossible). I have not even dated or seen any girl in the last few months so I'm starting to get lonely myself. I am somewhat over the last girl I saw, but still miss her from time to time. I have the same feeling as you sometimes. I can't help but feel like I won't be meeting someone like her ever again.

[dragonzeyez]

Yeah, Jessica (my x) was beautiful and intelligent (not very very smart, more like intelligent in a way that appealed to me). She is the only girl I have ever met that has attracted me with both these qualities. i am a very physically fit guy and want someone who cares about there own health, and smoking I just can't stand at all. But god waiting for someone who matches the qualities I want is tearing me up inside now. I am off every friday-sunday from work and I feel so lonely on these days that I just can't stand it.

[Lily04]

Hey man,

 

I feel the same way... I haven't been in a relationship for so long, it's sorta depressing to me. I just signed up for online dating....might seem weird, but there's some cool people on there, although most aren't my type either.

 

it's hard i know...but i don't think u have too high standards at all. and 2 months isn't that long... just keep dating, being open and NOT depressed. Women pick up on that....FOCUS ON YOURSELF, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR GOALS, and you will soon forget about your feelings of depression and loneliness. You have to learn to love yourself and have fun, despite not being in a relationship. That takes strength & that is a quality that girls also find attractive. hth,

 

lily

[charley]

Sometimes I feel loney too. Mostly it doesn't bother me. I think I must have a very high tolerance for solitude. I do however have friends, and that helps a lot. Lack of romantic relationship is easier when you have friends.

 

I think it's important to learn to be alone and stand on your own two feet emotionally without relying on a romantic relationship. I'm all for romance, but I wouldn't want to rely on it for companionship or self worth.

 

If you are alone long enough, you will learn to be more emotionally self sufficient. If you meet someone, then you won't be alone. So either way it will get better in time.

 

If you can spend some more time with friends, that will help. Make some new friends if necessary.

 

==========

 

Regarding your standards, I share those same standards. However, I'm willing to compromise. My friend I recently asked out is a smoker, but at least she's considerate about it, and somehow she doesn't stink like most smokers. How's she do that? I told her she'd be a perfect 10, if she quit smoking. She was very flattered, but she ain't given up the cigs for anything. So I accept her as is.

 

My other friend I'd like to ask out next, is also a smoker. She also is considerate about it and does not smell like a smoker. How's she do that?

 

What's with beautiful and otherwise smart babes smoking? It's like an epidemic of cigarettes, especially among women in their early and mid 20s, but also their 30s too. One of my other faves also smokes. I hate cigarettes. So how come I keep getting attracted to smokers? Because so many women smoke, that's why. Only reason I can figure. I've got asthma. I can't be around smoke. Yet none of these women stink like a smoker. How do they manage to still smell good? Why do they smoke? I don't get it.

[Daddy Bear]

Patience, bro. If it happened once, it'll happen again.

[dragonzeyez]

thnx for all the advice guys. it feels good just to be heard. i have lots of friends and other stuff i do in my life, but its still just so hard to ignore that empty void. you guys made me feel a lot better though, thnx.

[Leonhart]

Can I relate. Being in love is the most amazing experience this world has to offer, and I miss it dearly myself too. But sometimes life isn't so kind, as we know.

 

As everyone else said, your standards are hardly too high - I wouldn't date a smoker either - and you're entitled to go after the type of person who makes you happy. You owe it to yourself to do no less. That said, standing firm for what you want is sometimes a lonely path. But I know exactly where you're coming from. Trust me though, 2 months isn't so bad. I could do 2 months standing on my head!

[dragonzeyez]

Can I relate. Being in love is the most amazing experience this world has to offer, and I miss it dearly myself too. But sometimes life isn't so kind, as we know.

 

As everyone else said, your standards are hardly too high - I wouldn't date a smoker either - and you're entitled to go after the type of person who makes you happy. You owe it to yourself to do no less. That said, standing firm for what you want is sometimes a lonely path. But I know exactly where you're coming from. Trust me though, 2 months isn't so bad. I could do 2 months standing on my head!

 

Yeah, it is the most amazing feeling. My x was my first love. She was not my first girlfriend, but she was my first love. Before her, being alone was easy for me because I had never felt love before. Now that I have experienced it, I can not stand to be without it. I do not miss her, but I miss love. I guess this feeling is probably gonna take a bit to get over.