Mirror of Me: I never was original

[emit_remmus]

I would like my past to be analyzed, to make me a better person today. I will be as honest as possible and very self critical of myself. Looking back, I never did have style, my own attitude, or any originality. I was always quiet.

 

I remember, I always drew a lot and I excelled scholastically very early, even though I did lack style and social skills. My drawings were always portraits, portraits of people or objects. There is no creativity in that.

 

I had a lisp and I was the new kid. I always got into trouble, but nothing serious because I would always talk my way out of trouble. You could say I was a coward, and I didn't carry my own attitude. I bullied specific kids when I was in elementary till middle school. I had few friends and many crushes.

 

Starting high school, I hated myself because of the way I looked. I didn't participate or excel in any activities mostly because of my own wishes and slightly because religion prevented it. Religion was my excuse. I spent my time studying and playing video games, most of it being alone. I have no brothers or sisters, and my parents were always working. I could have done something but I hated people because they made fun of me and I couldn't have what I wanted or look how I wanted to look.

 

I still had no style. I was plain. I didn't know how to shop and it was hard to shop for my size. I was shy, I didn't have an attitude. My art was always second rate work, but my grades were among the top.

 

Almost finishing high school, I felt something has got to happen because I'm missing a lot of things in my life. I blamed my ugly self, I blamed my parent's religious dogma, and I blamed everyone who didn't give me a chance. Did I give them a chance? I used this as my motivation to change myself and rebel. I started running, until eventually I reached my healthy weight, I started observing how others dressed. I copied their style. I still needed attitude.

 

I tried everything I could. I tried meeting people that I have been in classes with almost half of my life. After meeting this really cool intelligent person, I adopted their attitude because I envied their style. It was very free going and laid back. I tried taking part in things which went against my parent's religious dogma, things so innocent such as school activities and making friends that were of different religions. I started sneaking out of the house. I really fought my parents until I could win my way, even going as far as running away to a friend's house. Looking back, that sounds like someone else, not me.

[robowarrior]

Don't blame your parents. Don't blame god. You are responsible for who you are. If you want to change who you are, just do it. Blaming your genes or your invisible friend and continuing to live the lifestyle you hate will get you nowhere. Accept that you dug the hole you are in, now you've gotta pull yourself out of it if that is indeed what you want to do.

 

Grab a piece of paper, and use your fantasy to create something unique, it doesn't matter how terrible it is, even if its just a few scratches, they are YOUR scratches, in a way no one draw them before, UNIQUE in the sense that no two are alike.

 

Fantasy is your tool for uniqueness. Although concepts may come from the outside world, the way you compose them together must be unique so that you may be unique.

[valenski]

We are hardest when judging ourselves sometimes, we dont see or realise what it is thats special about ourselves. You say you do portraits, right there is something special about you, a drawing of an object or person is not like taking a picture it is a representation of said object/person through your own eyes. A unique rendition and I call that creative. Dont be so hard on yourself and dont waste time and energy placing blame, just focus on what you want to do and how you're gonna do it. Make that change!