I have this crippling fear..

[isabellacantinos]

I have this thing that really is screwing me over when it comes to getting by in life. I completely freeze up when it comes to asking people for help

 

I mean as in asking for a job application, asking for advice on something, things I need to do in life that I cant do.

 

I needed to ask my boyfriends dad about the best way to get a job because his job used to be helping people get jobs but I kept freezing up, and believe me my bfs dad is NOT a threatening person, hes really nice and the whole family is really sweet to me. I would have no reason to be scared but I was and my bf had to physically push me towards him so I would do it

 

whenever I get this fear its like all of a sudden I dont see why I need to do it anymore, it doesnt seem relevant. and once I get pushed to do it anyways I get really scared and just dont want to do it and want to hide. once I'm there and asking for help I'm just fine though, and I dont feel any of that fear. but I dont usually get to that last step

 

one time I had this total meltdown and just started crying and crying and I just asked one person if he had any job openings, he said no and I got back in the car and just started sobbing. I want to get over this, just typing about it bring tears to my eyes, whats wrong with me?!

[robowarrior]

How about starting believing in yourself for a change? Stop being your own worst enemy, just go for gold in your life.

 

Its doesn't matter wether you get the job or not that is important ,what matters is that you NEVER give up.

 

Just put your mind on zero and go for it. Don't let life walse over you, you walse over life. Your actions speak of absurd fear, what is needed in life is not fear, nothing can grow from that, go forward, move forward, retreat and you will age, hesitate and you will die. Put your hands into the fire for what you stand for and just don't care if you get the job or not, don't care if you freeze, just do your job.

[Bethany]

Set yourself small goals. Even if it just to ask a supermarket assistant where something is, it's a start at being confident and calm and asking for what you want. You can then build up to things that you really want but I think the key is starting small and building confidence from these small achievments.

 

I think everyone around your age feels the same about the in-laws, I remember I was terrified that my BF's father would talk to me as my voice would go all wobbly and I was like you... literally petrified, and I NEVER felt truly comfortable around him enough to be 'myself' even after 18 years of being married to his son so don't be so hard on yourself.

[isabellacantinos]

Set yourself small goals. Even if it just to ask a supermarket assistant where something is, it's a start at being confident and calm and asking for what you want. You can then build up to things that you really want but I think the key is starting small and building confidence from these small achievments.

 

I think everyone around your age feels the same about the in-laws, I remember I was terrified that my BF's father would talk to me as my voice would go all wobbly and I was like you... literally petrified, and I NEVER felt truly comfortable around him enough to be 'myself' even after 18 years of being married to his son so don't be so hard on yourself.

 

actually, I'm quite comfortable around his dad, his parents are hardcore hippies and I dont ever feel obligated to make chit chat with them. theyre really cool and even let me sleep in his room for nights and find no problems with it.

one time I was talking to his dad about mens taste in different types of boobs and his dad was like "I prefer the breast to fit perfectly into a martini glass" my bf was sulking in the corner, horrified. I was quite entertained

 

so I really shouldnt be nervous

 

btw I had another break down today, it was because my bf wanted me to apologize to someone for not coming to school(not coming to school isnt a serious offense but youre supposed to at least call)

I was talking about it and burst into tears, whats wrong with me? I couldve apologized online if I wanted but the thought of it brought tears!

[Bethany]

Is this about your BF pushing you into things when your not ready?I see twice in your post that you mention this which is why i ask.

 

If he hadn't had pushed you would you have done it anyway but in your own time?

 

Or, is the problem getting so bad that he feels he has to push you or you won't do what you need to do ever?

[rasheed]

dont worry your not alone, all you have ot do is believe in yourself, i peronsally like to watch Muhammad ali videos, it helps motivate. Find a person you look up to and follow them!

[isabellacantinos]

Is this about your BF pushing you into things when your not ready?I see twice in your post that you mention this which is why i ask.

 

If he hadn't had pushed you would you have done it anyway but in your own time?

 

Or, is the problem getting so bad that he feels he has to push you or you won't do what you need to do ever?

 

I'd say the problem gets so bad he feels like he has to push me

 

sometimes he pushes me, but then feels really sorry for it cause I end up having a breakdown

 

I think he has a hard time personally relating to my issues

[Bethany]

I'd say the problem gets so bad he feels like he has to push me

 

sometimes he pushes me, but then feels really sorry for it cause I end up having a breakdown

 

I think he has a hard time personally relating to my issues

 

Then you need to explain when you are feeling good (and calm) so he can understand and support you the way you need him to.

 

Fundamentally, when it comes down to it, it's just anxiety (fear). Control it by noting it's appearance and 'catch it' before it overwhelms you. Don't become afraid of a feeling that YOU generate and allow it take over you, You can control it with practice and understanding how your nervous system works (flight or fight). Good Luck.