BOYFRIEND AT COLLEGE>> ME A SENIOR>>ADVICE... PL

[fznangel11]

Okay, I wrote almost this exact same message as a reply to another forum, but I really need advice myself, so I'm asking for it. I've been dating my boyfriend for three months now. He just left last week to go to a college five hours away. Being the very social person that he is, he's fitting right in and not especially anxious to come home any time soon. I probably won't see him before Thanksgiving. We've had quite a history. We met over a year ago when he started going to my church. Both of us were very intrigued by the other at first sight. However, as shy as I was (at the time) and as nervous as he was, neither one of us spoke of our feelings until months later. We began dating, but it was my first real relationship and I was scared to death. So, after only a month, I broke up with him. For months we didn't speak at all. He tried so hard to be my friend and be there for me, but I still liked him and felt stupid for ever having broken up with him, so I avoided him. Months went by and we began talking again. Our friendship quickly grew. We became awesome friends, and a couple months ago, we revealed our feelings to each other once again. Of course there was the question of whether or not to date again. Given the awesome bond that we had develloped, was it worth the risk of losing it? Also, given the history of us, were we willing to go through that again? The fact that he was leaving at the end of the summer to go to college and I still had another year left was another big question. We were (and still are) in love, though, so we went for it. I really don't want to lose him. We're trying to keep communication open and everything. It's hard, but we're managing. Any advice as to what else might help this work would be much appreciated. I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone. He means the world to me and I'll do anything to keep him (well... within reason)

 

Bee

 

[Gilgamesh]

All I can really say is, dont give up on something because of fear of what might happen. thats like not enjoying a beautiful sunny day in fear that it could rain.

 

was it worth the risk of losing it? Also, given the history of us, were we willing to go through that again?

 

this is interesting, what happened before was that your fear, made you break up with him, he was only an innocent bystander affected by your actions.

 

The best way to keep him, is to show through actions that you have no more doubts, because its these doubts that will eventually have him give up on you, he may not say it, but your actions in the past are something that have to still be on his mind.

 

Im not saying to smother him, but dont do anything that will make him think you have doubts about your relationship and your feelings for him, act as if all fear is gone.

[SarCareBear]

though your stories probably arent the same, one of my friends just went through the same situation last year, her being a senior n her b/f going to college. they seemed to work it out quite well, spent alot of weekends together and during theyre breaks saw eachother a lot.. better then that, when she went down and visited him at college she became friends with alot of his friends so now there one big group (they went to different High Schools..) so look at this as a possibly positive experience for both of you ! ( pllus it gives u space to see how much u trully care fore eachother)