Is it bad to be a little "to yourself"?

[Double J]

I've heard that being to yourself can be a good thing or a bad thing. It's a bad thing in that you limit contact with other people/ they don't get to know you as well. It's a good thing in that you keep a little mystery going - makes people want to get to know you better.

 

But I think the bad may outweigh the good in this situation somewhat, because being to yourself means not taking an active interest in other people. If other people see that you're really not interested in them, they're not going to show interest in you (or so people say). Do you guys agree?

 

But what if a person truly values time alone? I'm not saying being completely isolated from the world. What I'm saying is - having a girlfriend/boyfriend, a good share of friends, but not necessarily being a social butterfly. Staying home over the weekends doing your stuff for school and going out once in a while with your SO and friends but for the most part staying home (and away from bars/clubs/etc). As far as in the workplace, i'm talking about being nice to everyone and talking to people once in a while but not "getting too close" e.g. (happy hour, going out to lunch with people everytime you're there, etc). This also includes actually enjoying some time eating lunch by yourself somewhere else. If any of you saw the Surreal Life on VH1 (season 3) I'm talking about being like Jordan Knight acted on that show, although a bit nicer and more sociable than him.

 

So my main question is - is it bad for people to view you as a generally quiet person who, although nice and well-intentioned, prefers to stick to himself/herself? Does this hamper one in the workplace? Is it bad to being more receptive to certain people with which you feel you identify more and not others?

[Orange_County]

I think you should stay as you are. It's true when you say that if you dont show interest in the other people they wont be interest in getting to know you better; In my opinion, you should do Just what you feel comfortable with without getting worried at all. Every person is diferent and every person need what he/she needs. If you say you are nice and kind to people at work then you have nothing to worry. People will like you the way you are!

I do need to be with people and have fun...cuz I enjoy doing it! Eventhough sometimes I just need to be on my own..I will probably enjoy it as much as in the other party situation.

I am not a social butterfly that everybody knows and shine in every meeting...I admit I wish i would be like that.

But, in my case, I always complain about being shy and I really wish to be more open to get close to people....but I have nothing to regret since I have a couple of good friends and I can be happy in a place where i know the people.

At work, I have no friends...At first I thought it could be cuz I recently got this job...but now, after 5 months, I still have no friends. I am not saying people here sucks, It's just I dont have any conection to consider them "friends"; I take my lunches at work alone and even my breaks and I have to say I WISH I COULD HAVE A FRIEND TO TALK TO, Althouugh I enjoy my time alone and I like my job as well.

It's not bad to be a quiet person and not bad at all to enjoy being to yourself as long as you are happy with it.

If you are getting worried about it, that migth mean you want to change a bit this situation...mabye?

[anggrace]

When I first started working with the company Im with now people thought I was stuck up or that I thought I was "too good" because I would have my lunch in my car. But really I just enjoy the solitude. When I go back to work Im in a better mood than I would be if I ate lunch with everyone else who spend that time gossiping and complaining about work. They should thank me because Im much more pleasant to work with when Im in a good mood.

 

My bf and I both enjoy our alone time. I know people say its healthier to be more social, but Im much happier when I can have alone time. Thats whats important right?