The power of time, and the changes that will come

[Outdoorcrazy]

So most of you dont know my story, but here is the short of it, about 4 months ago my ex broke off our 18 month relationship. Thats all you really need to know, if u even need that.

 

As i was lying in bed, sick, i began to think about the past 5 months of my life. It began to baffle me about how things work. Im sure there are many people out there that are hurting tonight, and wish so bad that they could get back together with your ex, but here is the kicker, and yes it is cliche, but here it is, break ups happen for a reason, and as hard as this is to come to terms with, your ex broke up with you, because they didnt want you any more, we must more on! Life is to short to spend it pining for someone who doesnt love you anymore, move on, and down the road, you will find someone to return your very special love. Now i am sure there are peolpe who broke up over something as stupid as, he/she wasn't giving you all the attention you want, but for most of us here, myself included, we will never get back together with our exs, ond for those of u who split for some stupid reason, maybe that is a clue to you, about how things in the future will go, and how happy you will be down the road if you do get back together.

 

Now for those of you who just went through a breakup, i can empathize with you because i too was, and still am healing. Breakups are hard, thats just the way it is, and we cant do anything to change that! But here is another cliche line for you, you will get over them with time. Now i am not going to tell you that i am over my ex completely, that would be alot of BS, but i can tell you that when i read a post like this right after my breakup, i didnt believe it either, but 4 months down the road i am so far aloong i cant believe it. Getting over someone you love, is one of, if not the biggest obstacle in life, so we cant try to tackle this all at once, instead, we should do it one day at a time, until we are completely over our exs. BUT TIME WILL HEAL US, AND WE WILL GET OVER OUR EXS, 100%.

 

Now for many of you, i am sure that you have been told this many times, and think how would you know, your not in my position, but i can assure you that its true. Not so long ago i had just broken up with my ex and was devastated, thinking that i would never move on, but over time i have made huge improvements, just like all of you here will.

 

Think about it this way, almost every person in this world has gone through a break up at some time. Think about all your friends, and how many of them are with their first love? I am willing to bet not many, which is why i say everyone goes through this at some time. Whether it be a break up after 3 weeks, or a break up after many years, we will all get through this, just some will take longer to move on that others, but in the end time heals everything, i find that out more every day, just like you will.

 

Now many of you will just blow this off, and think not me, but if this helps one person here who is hurting, just like i was, my time was well spent. eNot Alone is a great resource, so use it as often as you need, and just give it time.

 

Since this is already a very cliche post, i will leave you with this line: ITS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THEN TO NEVER HAVE LOVED AT ALL!!!

[distroyed one]

BUT TIME WILL HEAL US, AND WE WILL GET OVER OUR EXS, 100%

 

Think about it this way, almost every person in this world has gone through a break up at some time. Think about all your friends, and how many of them are with their first love? I am willing to bet not many, which is why i say everyone goes through this at some time. Whether it be a break up after 3 weeks, or a break up after many years, we will all get through this, just some will take longer to move on that others, but in the end time heals everything, i find that out more every day, just like you will.

 

Since this is already a very cliche post, i will leave you with this line: ITS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THEN TO NEVER HAVE LOVED AT ALL!!!

 

Well, lucky you.. I'm still looking for salvation 6 months after a breakup.. But there is not any, just way down.. You are right that everyone had a disapointment in his life, felt pain because of love but it doesn't hurt everyone the same way.. My friends are able to leave it all behind even if it is about relationship that lasted 5 years.. They feel unhappy for a while and after one month like new persons start dating other people.. I'm just not that kind.. Sitting almost every night reading threads of other people, searching for clues what to do, I'm not strong enough to forget or to stop thinking about him..

I'm just not strong enough..

And in my oppinion it is better to be without emotions and never to love if loving brings such unhappines and misery..

[karvala]

I'm ambivalent on the whole loved and lost question. I know at the times when I'm happily on my own (as in, not just after a breakup!), I feel quite content. But then I fall in love and have a relationship (if I'm lucky!), and it opens up a whole new world of delight that I simply don't see when I'm on my own. Then when things go wrong and the relationship ends, it's like being thrown out of the world, back to the original world, but having to deal with the memories of that better place. It's like being in a sort of prison, but not knowing it until you're let out for a week, and then being sent back to it in the full, horrific, knowledge of your imprisonment, which fades only slowly. I'm honestly not sure if it's better to see that wonderful land, and then leave it, or just not enter it at all.

[isidore]

karvala,

I've felt similar to what you've described before. But I just can't look at a relationship as a prison furlough. Perhaps looking at it this way can even hinder the continuation of a relationship. If you think you're just "on parole" from a mundane existence, and that sooner or later the warden's gonna come knocking, feelings of doom could consume you. Just a thought.

[longhaircats]

Well, lucky you.. I'm still looking for salvation 6 months after a breakup.. But there is not any, just way down..

 

Hey, Outdoorcrazy, am happy for you that you are doing well. I am on 5 months after my breakup from living-in boyfriend of almost 3 years, and I just started feeling better lately but last night I had a major set back. I was crying again, thinking about my ex. He met someone right after and now they are engaged! Me? I dated 3 guys of which 2 of them are completery rebound, and the last guy who I felt spark and chemistry with for the first time after my ex, is slowy fading away. Dating is fun, but when it ends it really hurts and I don't know if I want to date anymore. So I can totally understand what karvala and distroyed_one are talking about.

 

I guess it just takes time to heal, and it's OK to take that time. My best friend took almost 1 year to start dating again, and after 2 years she met someone special and they are very happy!