Very, very confused!!!???

[JiveDaddy3]

Ok here's the deal. I was dating my ex for almost 10 months. It was great. She was the first one to tell me she loved me, the first one to talk to about marriage, I never took the iniative to tell her this stuff. At first I was skeptical about it all, but soon saw myself with this person for the rest of my life. She always doubted that I loved her, she had alot of insecurities. Things were going great talking about a future together and everything. So anyways we spent a summer apart due to work and we had a few problems nothing serious, distance was a problem, but we did get to spend at least a day together each week and talked every night. Well right when summer was over and we were moving back to college, she broke up with me because of me being crabby all the time. Said she wants a future with me, but not right now!!!??? I had a massive personal problem the whole time we were dating, my career wasn't panning out and it made me not the greatest person to be around. So I decided it was the time to change careers which I did and am the happiest I've been in years. So it's been three weeks.

Well we talk occasionally still. I'm trying to distance myself from her, get rid of the pain. Well she IM's me tonight out of the blue, and I ask her how's she doing, etc. and get one word responses. So I ask her what she IMmed me about. And she's like how are you gonna afford a new car. And I said my job. She's like what job. I'm like the one I told you about. And it turns out that my new job is gonna most likely place me not to far from where she'll be living next year. Then she's says "you frustrate me and this doesn't make sense to me" ~referring to me being happy. I asked her is she's mad that I'm happy and I didn't get a reponse. So then she finally says it's like you're rubbing it in my face about what I could of had with you. I'm by no means doing that, just telling her what was going on in my life. So now Im confused beyond belief! Why would she even tell me that I frustrate her? We're broken up she should have nothing to be frustrated about. Sorry this is long, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Any insight would be appreciated. Part of me wants to move on, but part of me still loves this girl beyond belief.

[simply complicated]

theres one word to describe her feelings.....JEALOUSY, sorry man, i don't want to make it sound like shes a bad girl, you say you love her, so she can't be that bad, but when it comes to the materialistic part of the relationship, thats when it gets ugly, and for the most part, confusing, although it's difficult, moving on would be your best bet, let's face it, your happy now, happiness is hard to find, once you have it, hold on to it, getting back together would be a big risk, it could completely f**k things up for you, i know this from experience, i say you wave your options, let the right girl come to you, it works better that way, you know what your looking for, so when it comes your way, take it, don't invite anymore problems into your life, trust me

[Slypknot]

My personal experience? Rarely have I ever (when I still had feelings for someone) enjoyed hearing about the good things happening in their life after our relationship was over. I never enjoyed friends telling me and especially not the actual girl - it always came off like she was show-boating and trying to show me how much better off I would have been with her (whether she meant to or not).

 

Truth is, unless we're friends, I have no business talking to an X. It was over for a reason and at that time was the best for both of us (whether we see it or not at the time). So for me to try and IM/Call/Email an X it's a weak attempt for me to try to either feel better about my own personal life (by seeing someone else worse off than I) or to try and re-kindle something.

 

I'd let it go bro - you don't need to truly understand it. Just know that she will most likely NOT be happy at the good things happening in your life. It will either make her angry or make her try and get back into your life - which neither sounds like options you'd choose.

[JiveDaddy3]

Thanks for getting back to me guys. I appreciate it. I was doing fine, then last night she randomly IMmed me and it was like she was jealous, and then I started to think about the whole relationship again. She always was a little bit materialistic and very needy. I'm better off without her. I've never been able to stay friends with an EX and she wanted to stay friends with me, but I don't think I'll be able to handle it. Anyways whatever, it's hard, this has been the hardest break up, I've ever had. But life goes on. Thanks once again!