Going on a trip with the ex---odd!

[Mstyiyd]

My ex and I have been "friends" for about 2yrs now, on and off. Did NC 2x during the two yrs, once for four months, once for five bec of various reasons. We've been talking again since late summer/early fall. We are back in the same routine, usually talking several times a day, see each other all the time. The only thing we don't have is any intimacy, so I guess it's fair to say there's nothing more. I still care deeply for her but I haven't made a move; that is up to her. She has not dated anyone in all this time, and I haven't either. I'm not opposed to it, just haven't met anyone that's interested me.

 

She has brought up us going away on a trip in a few months. I know friends can take trips together, but given our history and how adament she is that she will never be with me, why does she want us to go away together? One of the 1st things I thought of is sex. No joke...wouldn't that cross her mind at all? Sometimes she sleeps over if we've hung out, in my bed (i know--not appropriate) but she's never touched me. It's WEIRD. So if we go on a trip together, in an amazing place, I wonder how that could not come up? It might not and I better keep my emotions in check, but still. I'm surprised she wants to plan something so in depth, as well as financially, with me. We have alot of fun together, and I know she trusts me.

 

What does anyone think of this? We are supposed to get passports within the next week.

[shikashika]

I went on a trip with my ex.. it was fine.. A friend of mine went to Cambodia and Vietnam with her ex for 3 months it was fine..

 

Many many people do it. nothing unusual at all.. If you want to go on the trip.. go!! Don't be bound by all these dating 'rules' which people seem to follow all too often without trusting their OWN gust instinct. don't listen to your friends either. do what YOU want... my friends want and do completely different things than I do.. so listening to them or anyone else is pointless!

 

Sounds like you want to go.. hope you have a good trip!

[Parsley]

Hiya

I went to Paris with my ex, about 3 months after we broke up. It was a holiday we booked a week before breaking up, and couldn't cancel without losing our money, and it was money neither of us could afford to waste. I'm not going to say it was easy. A week in the most romantic city in the world...with your ex.

 

We had a couple of arguments before going, which made me dread the whole week, thinking I'd end up just going round by myself and going back to share the hotel room before going out again. We managed to change the room to a twin, but the beds had absolutely no gap between them.

 

It was ridiculously hot that week. There was no way either of us could cover up skin that could go bare without being indecent. That got awkward...for me at least. I wasn't still in love with him when we went, I had no feelings for him. There were no 'moments' (and this is in Paris) and we became better friends for it.

 

No matter how great it turned out to be...it was still one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.

 

So think carefully before you decide to go on this trip. It was really difficult for me, and I was over him. You're not over your ex. You have to be really careful what you do, and should you decide to do something, remember if it doesn't go well you have to spend the rest of the trip with her, and her alone.

 

If I could have avoided that trip, I would have. Think very carefully about what you do here, because you could end up a lot more hurt than I was.

[shikashika]

yeah I think if tis a trip that you planned BEFORE you broke up and you are just going on it because you bought the tickets.. that is an ENTIRELY different story,

 

I went on a trip with my ex that we planned AFTER we broke up.. same with my friend

 

If you feel its going to be difficult.. then don't go.. but f you are going to an exciting place. and really looking forward to it.. then go for it

[Mstyiyd]

We have talked about going away someplace on and off for a few yrs. We haven't been together physically in 2yrs. I really do want to go and I know she does too. I probably have more feelings than she does and although she probably senses that, we don't talk about it. For me, it's not worth it unless she should ever choose to.

 

I think we'll wind up going, Paris is actually tops on our list of places to go. And it's romantic! I will be fine because I feel like i have more self-control than I wish I did. I just thought it was interesting that she wanted to go with me, considering how nuts she gets if ppl ask her if we're together. She actually told somone recently (it got back to me) that I

"don't do it for her". That's why I decided to post this question/dilemma/whatever u want to call it, on here.

 

Thanks for the input, I really appreciate it!