My birthday trip with the ex.

[wishiknew]

Well, the ex and I spent 3 nights away on a trip for my birthday. It's something she and I had always wanted to do, she wanted to plan it last year but things never worked out. And even though we broke up before Christmas, she still wanted to go on this trip together.

 

For those of you who don't know my situation, she broke up with me because she wasn't sure if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. We had gotten to the point in our relationship where things were starting to get serious and she just became unsure of what she really wanted. So she broke it off, we still talked and saw each other on a fairly regular basis. She refused to call is a break, becasue she's been in that situation and she knows it would be too hard on me, so it was a break up. She told me she didn't want me waiting around for her make up her mind.

 

Anyways, back to the trip. To make a long story short we had 1 room with 2 beds. For the majority of the time, only 1 got used. There was some cuddling which felt great, things seemed almost normal at times as though we may be on the road to getting back together. We had some talks regarding our relationship and she does miss me but still isn't ready to say we're dating again. Still needs some time to figure things out about what she wants out of her life, or if she really does want to spend the rest of our lives together.

 

Things have really gotten better communication wise since we broke up, we are both the type of person to keep most of our most intimate thoughts and feelings to ourselves. That's no longer the case as we share every aspect of our lives, just like the best friends we used to be, only closer.

 

i don't know if I want feedback or advice, I just had to get this aired out. Reply as you feel appropriate. I know there are those that will say she's keeping me around until something/someone better comes along.

[JIzzyM]

wishiknew...long time not post bud!

 

Things seem to be going pretty well for you right now! I'm glad to hear that you had a good trip with your ex. Oh, and Happy Birthday!

 

Are the talks you guys have about your relationship or just about anything in general? Does she ever talk about getting back together or missing you or anything? How are you reacting to all of this? Are you just hanging out with her or do you go out with other friends sometimes? Do you two have fun together, what are your ususal hang out sessions like and what do you do? Do you ever act like a couple?

 

Haha sorry for the bombard of questions, but just trying to get a little insight here on your situation! Let us know.

 

Oh, Do you think that trip was a good idea and do you feel you get any closer or got any benefit from it? Glad you had a great time though! Keep your chin up and don't leave us hanging here on the boards too long. I very much enjoy reading your posts and seeing how much our situations reflect each others!

[CHEMICAL_ROMANCEXXX]

Just a warning, try not to get your hopes up-I know easier said than done! She sounds confused about what she wants. I'm worried that if things dont work out your going to have to go through all the pain you have already must have experianced when she ended things with you. If you find things to stressful dont forget its ok to walk away. If she really wants to be with you she will contact you and let you know. Im in a similar position with my ex and this week i've finally reached breaking point, I've had enough of putting my life on hold for someone who cant make up thier mind. Im going to TRY and do no contact for the sake of my sanity. I wish you all the luck no matter what you try and do

[wishiknew]

JIzzyM,

 

To answer all your questions in no particular order, we've had some long relationship talks. Some good has come out of them, she does think about getting back together but right now she's still sitting on the fence because she truly doesn't know what she wants. She says that she doesn't want to get back together unless she's 100% sure because she saw what the breakup did to me and doesn't want to put me through that ever again. She misses me, she said sometimes she's even in denial about things because there are times when it feels like we're still dating.

 

No, I don't spend all of my time with her, although there are days that i might want to. We see each other maybe a couple nights a week and I still see my other friends regularily. Sometimes we all get together and do something as a big group too. We are having fun together again, whether it be just the two of us or in a large group. Our usual hangout sessions seem a lot like date type stuff, we'll go skating in the park, dinner and a movie, grab a coffee. Sometimes just hanging out at her place or mine like we used to.

 

The trip was great, we were playful with one another and it seemed like there was some flirting going on from her end. The thing is I know she's extra cautious with my feelings because she doesn't want to give me false hope. I do feel that we are a little closer because of all the time we spent together, probably not as much progress as I would have liked to see but I know this is going to take time.