JIzzyM

Hello! I just wanted to check in and update everyone again. It has been about a month since I have posted anything on here. I have been super busy with school and work and will soon be able to get back to posting more on this board and replying to other posts. Just gotta get through these next few weeks of school! ](*,) The ex and I have been doing wonderfully. We are much better then we were a few months ago or even a few weeks ago! Things are much smoother with few to no disagreements and much more fun. He stays over more often, which he usually suggests and says he loves it and looks forward to staying with me. We took a trip to New York City together, which was very fun and interesting. Haha I hate trains/subways and we had to take the subway many times, which lead to endless teasing and silly banter. We go on lunch and dinner dates at least once a week and are trying to make sure that we do it every week, so that we have a meal to ourselves and make time for us to talk and connect. I very much enjoy them and am glad that he suggested this weekly "date". He told me that he still loves me and would do anything for me. I didn't bring it up, I promised you all that I wouldn't remember!? It was nice to hear, well great to hear! We don't say it all of the time or anything. I actually haven't said it to him at all yet, I am waiting for the right time. No need to rush anything, we are past that now and are just enjoying each other and taking our grand old time with everything. Oh and he finally cut his hair! Thank god! He said it was bc of me and bc I told him that he needed to but I know it's just a joke. He needed to cut it to get a good job. He looks so handsome now! I know that I don't have much to say anymore, but that's bc we don't really argue or have any problems now, which is good! Just wanted to let everyone know that you can work through problems and difficult times if BOTH parties really want to and want to put in the effort and time. He has shown leaps and bounds in his actions towards me, my feelings, and few needs and I have tried to do the same for him. We just talk everything out now and communicate calmly. Sometimes it's hard due to outside circumstances (school,work, money, family, car problems, ect) but those are just external things that don't have anything to do with us, just things that affect us each individually. Can't let the other stuff get you down, especially when you can't control it and just have to work through it and support each other. Thanks everyone! Hope all had a good holiday and have better weather wherever you are then we do here! Boo rain!

Hey everyone! Hope all is well and everyone is ready for spring! I know that I am..haha I hate snow and cold weather! The ex and I are still currently dating. Do I really know what this means? Nope. Do I ask about it? Nope. I think I am slightly confused bc the terms "dating" and "together" and "relationship" and/or "boyfriend/girlfriend" are used so loosely and are interchangeable. My ex uses them all referring to serious, exclusive relationships, as do most of my friends. That's why I'm not super sure on where we stand, bc it's all so subjective. We act like we are boyfriend/girlfriend. We see each other almost everyday (for like an hour or so), he stays over once or twice a week, we go out together, he checks in with me, we are going away on some trips together, we go out to dinner and he pays for me/I pay for him, we are affectionate (not overly, just cute stuff) in public, talk on the phone daily even if we see each other, aren't seeing other people, ect. To me that stuff is pure relationship territory. We only ever say we are dating. Is it the same thing?! I don't say anything to him about it bc I don't want to press my luck/pressure him. I don't really mind that we don't talk about it or clear it up or anything. It's not something that is nagging at me so bad that I need to converse with him about it, but just enough to post on here about it. haha. If I would ever have to introduce him to anyone, I would just say "This is ____" or "This is my friend______". I don't want to overstep antyhing or make it ackward. We are all about no drama and no fights anymore. We talk things out calmly and then let it go. Works much better than that grudge thing I had going on before! Things are good!! Great actually! Although, I would love to live with him again, especially since things are sooooo much better. We can be hanging out and studying separately and not bother each other, but still love the others company. I am much more independent now and do so much more on my own and it surprises him. He has made comments about it and it seems to make him want to make plans with me and solidify our plans ahead of time, so that we can actually spend time together. If we don't have plans, I don't wait around for him and he has taken notice. If only I could have done this sooner!! I would just love to be able to live with him again and our living situations both might be up in the air soon due to roomates and job possibilities and such. I don't think I will ever bring it up though. I mean we don't even say I love you or anything. Although I think he said it this past weekend, but I'm not sure. It sounded like it when he was singing to me and whispering into my ear (our friends and I were having a sing-a-long...haha it's our thing) and I could have sworn he said "Love you" but I wasn't sure! I just said "what?" and he responded ever so quickly and oddly with "Nothing!". Weird. I have to hold in my verbal diahhrea from time to time to keep the "I love you" from coming out bc there is no way that I am saying it first! Haha. Also, we aren't even 100% together, in a serious relationship, or at least that I know of. Remember that I didn't even know we were dating until like 3 weeks later when he told me. haha Oh my life is tv show material sometimes. Hope everyone's love lives are going smoothly! Thanks everyone!!!!

wishiknew... Hey long time no post! Thanks for the kind words! It is weird/funny that I was the last to know, but now I am very glad that I know. It seems that once my attitude changed, then his changed and we are getting along much better than before. How are things going for you? I check back on your thread and haven't seen any updates lately. Hope things are going well for you! Keep us updated

Time for a little update! The ex and I are now offically dating! We are still testing the waters but offically dating. Now how did this happen? I still am not sure haha. We were actually having a little argument and it came up and he was like "well we are dating!" and I was like "uh since when?" and he said we have been for awhile now and my response was well no one told me that! haha. It's humorus to look back upon and I think we just never gave it a title bc he wasn't ready (he's scared of titles and thinks it will change things a lot..I'm out to prove it won't) and I didn't want to bring it up ever. So, we are dating! Yay! Since this new found information and decision of us actually being two people who are offically seeing each other, things have been great! Yes, it has only been since Friday, but I have seen some great improvements in both of us. I feel much more secure about this whole thing now that we have a title and I know how he feels a little more. I have had many talks with my mom and friends about this, but I'm pretty sure my mom has given me the best advice yet. I need to let it go, let the past be in the past and not hold a grudge towards him bc he broke up with me. I was holding a grudge and being pretty snippy and b1thcy with him at times and it was bc I was just mad at him for hurting me before, but I am doing my best to put that behind me and focus on here and now. She also told me to cut him a break sometimes. I do seem to have a slight control problem (haha) and always like to know whats going on and have things go according to plan and when they don't I get upset and annoyed. How attractive is that?! I must get pretty difficult to deal with from time to time and now I have fully realized that and am surprised that he has stuck through it this far with all of my nagging and everything. I'm not saying that he is Mr. Perfect attitude or anything haha, bc believe me he is definitely not! We are both incredibly difficult people. We like things to go certain ways and that usually means our way. We both have a lot going on and don't like to back down and are stubborn and strong willed. We actually discussed how we are both diffcult and we know it. He admitted to it and so did I. So, how we both have kept going through our difficult personalities and everything that has been thrown at us is slightly crazy and amazing. Haha who knew that we would still be doing this months later while still at each other's throats from time to time. We must be doing something right. He actually apologized one night for being so difficult. He just brought it up on his own and I apologized too. It was a nice little moment and time where we connected and communicated with each other. We have been getting along so much better now! I don't let the little things bother me (him being late, calling a little late, forgetting little things, and being slightly scatter brained) and he has gone the extra mile to do cute things for me (random hugs and kisses, calling for no reason, doing the things he said he was going to do, bought me dinner, making arrangments so that he could stay over and hang out longer, holding my hand, ect). It seems that if I don't b1tch and complain so much that he actually tries harder! Who knew that would happen!? I wish I figured this out months ago! ](*,) We have been connecting more and having really good times together. No drama or litttle fights for a while now, at least since Friday. Not even any little snippy comments. He comes to me to cuddle a lot now and that was one of his complaints when we broke up, that he hated cuddling and that it was pretty bad that I had to ask him to cuddle with me and that he got annoyed that he had to do it. Tonight he actually told me that he loves cuddling with me and didn't want to get up or leave. Those are the cute comments that I was looking for all along and all I had to do was let up on him a little and not put him on this pedistal and expect him to be this super hero of a guy all of the time. I was expecting too much from him but also telling him that all of the time and getting annoyed and upset. Now that I don't get annoyed and upset, he is rising past those expectations and doing all of those things on his own! He also wants to include me in his decisions for the future. We were talking about him moving about 25-30 mins away from here and who he will live with and everything. He mentioned a friend of his who is a girl and I am not very comfortable with her at all. She just rubs me the wrong way and wouldn't be okay with them living together. I mentioned this in a carefree way and said that I just wouldn't stay there a lot or come up a lot and he was like okay then I won't live with her. If it would make you feel uncomfortable, then I won't do it. I said that he should and that I don't want to influence him in anyway with this moving/living with situation and he was like no no we'll figure it out together, you and me, we will figure it out. He made it a point to know that we will do it together and that I knew that that I was a force in this decision making process and that he wants my imput. Seemed like a tiny step in a good direction...right?? Now I know that there will be ups and downs still and that he won't always be this attentive and stuff, but at least I know it's possible. If he does something that upsets me enough to deserve being spoken up about, then I will say something and then let it go. I won't be holding onto things and letting them pile up and cause a fight or ruin a night. I will just speak my mind with him and then work it out and let it go. It seems to be the right way to go and also the advice I have been gettting for weeks now! Let's hope things keep going to way they have been lately! We are dating!! Now, I just need to figure out what to get him for his b-day without going overboard! haha...maybe a comforter? He needs one...or some sheets? or clothes? He needs all of those things...a little help here!? Any suggestions, let me know! Also, any feedback on all of this and advice on how to keep things going smoothly and at the speed that they have been would be great! Thanks everyone!

Hey all! The ex and I are still just trucking along. We have had a few little tiffs here and there, but have actually come to some conclusions on how to deal with them. If we start to fight or be b!tchy with each other, then either I say "give me time" or he says "timeout" (or something along those lines, so we just know the other isn't just walking away mad) and then we go to separate rooms and give us about ten minutes to cool off. I have more of a temper than he does, so this is more for me to not say things I don't mean and for us to just calm down and gain a little perspective. We both think that this is a really good idea for us and that it will help a lot when we start to get upset or irritated with each other. I'm not saying that we fight all of the time or anything, just the normal, little tiffs. No big blowouts or anything. We haven't been spending as much time together lately, because of my school work load and everything, but it seems to be alright. He actually complained about not getting to see me enough and wishes we could see each other more, but knows that our schedules aren't always compatiable to that. Feels good to not be the one always wishing for that stuff! I keep almost saying "I love you" too him. It's crazy! We will be saying goodbye to each other and after I kiss him, it's almost habit to say I love you. Last night, I almost said it bc it ran through my head first and I was like oh no! I hope I didn't say that outloud!! ](*,) I don't want to freak him out, bc I know he wouldn't be comfortable with saying that now. Especially with him still not knowing if he loves me the same as he used to, which let me tell you, really is an upper for my self-esteem... That really bothers me sometimes, so I don't really know how to deal with that. I try to put it out of my head and not allow myself to dwell on it, bc it won't help with anything right now. Let me know how to deal with stuff and if you have ever been in a situation like this with the whole love debacule and everything. Thanks everyone! Stay safe in this snow if you are getting hit with it too!!

Hey everybody!! I hope all is well with everyone! I haven't updated in a while so here goes... Things with the ex have been good lately! We spend a lot of time together, but not too much. He hasn't been staying over much lately, because his mother and grandmother were both away this past week, so he had to stay with his sister. Also, we had a crap ton of snow and ice, so without 4-wheel drive he couldn't get around too easily. I on the other hand, do have 4WD, so I just get in and go! We only got to spend about an hour together on Valentine's Day, but it was time well spent! He got me a funny card (we hate mushy stuff so he got me one for a little kid and I got him a silly one too) and he also got me some really, really nice sheets for my bed! It might not sound like a good gift, but it was really thougtful to me bc my sheets have a big rip in them from my dog. It would always get caught around us when we were sleeping haha. So he got me some pretty nice ones! Really soft and warm. I didn't get him anything though. Call me a jerk, but I didn't know what to get him and didn't know if it was appropriate. I also got him and xmas gift and he didn't get me one, so we are even now. Haha I just didn't have time and didn't have an idea of anything small and not creepy to get him. He didn't seem to be offended or anything, it was a good day though. Time definitly well spent! He also has been more affectionate in public with me. He holds my hand, puts his arm around me, even kisses me every once in a while in public. We kiss all the time when we are just hanging out. Cute little kisses, that are comfortable and like a habit. It just makes me feel good and he seems to be really comfortable with doing these things and just looks at me like he used to. It might not seem to make sense or seem like a big deal, but to me it's good news! We aren't together or anything. We had a talk about it for the first time in a long time the other day. He still wants to take things slow bc he wants to see if this will really work. He says he still loves me but he isn't sure if it's the same way that he used to and that he needs to figure out/find out if he still does and if it still is the same kind of love. I understand this and feel that he is right in this way of thinking. I think it's good that we take things slow and figure these things out and make sure that we love each other the same way and are on the same page. I would love to be back together, but also want it enough to wait and work on these things. So, for now things are good. I hope we can continue on this way. The whole not sure if he loves me the same way as he used to thing worries me though. I don't know what to do or think about that, but I guess at them same time, I am doing the same thing as he is. Alright, that's it for now! Have a good night everyone!

Hey! Just wanted to know how things were going for you and if you're still in contact with the ex? Keep us updated on how you're feeling!

Thanks Hope! I am going to try and stay paitent with all of this and keep it fun and light. I think that will relieve some of the stress and pressure on us (especially me since I always bring it up and think about it) and allow us to just enjoy each other and our time together. He spent the night on Monday night and we had a good night. We watched some tv, cuddled and just enjoyed each other's company. All in all it was a really good night. He also made me give him his two kisses before I left in the morning, which was pretty cute. He was still in bed (I had to leave at 7 and he didn't have to get up until 9...lucky!!) and we always say goodbye to each other even if the other is sleeping and he woke up (which isn't usually easy for him...he's a grouch when he's sleepy..haha but so am I!) and kept hold of me until I gave him his kisses. We didn't see each other yesterday or talk very much, but we texted througout the day, just never had voice on voice action. Haha. He came over tonight and helped me study for a while. I have a HUGE test tomorrow. Yeah, I should probably be studying and not posting on here but I needed a break! I didn't expect to see him tonight but he asked if I wanted him to come over and help me study for a while, so I agreed. We got some food and studied some more. We also made plans for tomorrow to go out to the bar and have some fun so I can blow off some steam after this test and to just enjoy ourselves for a night and have fun. We won't get drunk or anything (he doesn't drink most of the time, ever once in a while he will drink one beer and I don't drink a lot bc I hate that feeling of being out of control...haha so that shows another side of me and how I like to be in control of everything and why this is so hard for me sometimes). We just want to have some fun and be carefree for a night. He kissed me again before he left and told me to call him if I need anymore help or have any questions. He said that he would call me tomorrow after band practice and that we would go right out and that we will talk online while I'm at school and he's at work tomorrow. I have set a time limit on this. It's not a limit on us being offically together, just on it going well with us and him continuing to show that he is putting in the effort and still in it with me. I'm hoping he does something little for Valentine's Day too. He has money now since he has been working (tax season is in full swing!) for a while, so hopefully something is done and at least acknowledged. Let's hope! I don't really care much about v-day, but I just want something to happen since my b-day and x-mas were during the time that he and I were still on edge with each other and not going well like it is now. Here's hoping that it all stays well and continues to move along well like it has been! Thanks everyone!! Have a good weekend!

Hope, Thank you so much for your reply!! I do get a bit irritated bc of the lack of a title with us. I know it's not a big deal really, since neither of us are seeing others or even in that mind set, but sometimes it still bugs me bc we used to have the title and now we don't. I will have to settle down on that and try to let it go for now. We had another very good night last night! We went to a party with some friends and bands. He would come find me if we got separated or I went off to talk to someone else. He was very attentive all night. It was cute. He also kissed me for the first time in public since the breakup. I was very surpised and happy about it. He would put his arm around me and snuggle with me too. Very cute. He took me home and we had some food and watched tv for a little. He didn't stay the night but kissed me before he left and was very admit on getting our two kisses before he left. It was something we used to always do when we were together and was our special kiss. We always said it meant more than just one kiss and meant more to us than any other kisses. Yay. I worked today and he came in to get some pizza for his mother and himself. It was nice. He also said that he went over to my house (our old house together) and cleaned up a little. He cleaned the cat boxes, vaccumed and made sure it was nice and clean. I thought that was very sweet and thoughtful of him. We are going out with some friends to a diner tonight to hang out and get some food. It should be fun and allow us to spend a little time together tonight. He might be staying over but he might not. I'm okay with either bc of school tomorrow and I'm super tired from work today (super busy bc of the super bowl ). I'm not going to keep talking about the realtionship anymore. I need to put a stop to that for a while since he is really doing the things he said he would and making an effort. I can really see him trying so I don't want to badger him and annoy him and have him stop. I just need to try and keep myself in check and not let my verbal diahrrea get the best of me! Thanks everyone! I really appreciate all of the replies and just having somewhere to vent and talk about what's going on with us is so great! THANK YOU!!

Hey everyone! Yes, I'm posting again today! I just wanted to let everyone know what great of a night I had with my ex. I'm just excited about it and need to tell someone We got together with some friend's and made a fire at my house. We got some smores stuff and watched tv and had a great time. We laughed and joked all night long. It was just a lot of fun. He put his arm around me all night and was being so cute and this was in front of all our friends! That's the first time he has done that since we broke up and it was great. Even when I would get up or move he would just keep putting his arm back around me or resting his hand on my back until I was snuggling up next to him again. It was so cute. I took him home and we hugged and he kissed me too. Just like old times. We used to always kiss a few times but had to have our final two kisses in a rown before we left each other. He did that tonight and it was like a habit, not awkward at all and no hesitation. Just comfortable and great. He was in a good mood all night and just kept smiling at me for now reason. We are going to a concert/party at a friend's house tomorrow night, so that should be fun too. He talked about it tonight and was all excited bc he said we would have fun. He promised that we would have a great time and I plan on having that happen. No drama and all fun. Thanks everyone! I just needed to tell someone that we had a good night and that I can really tell that he is making the effort to make me feel special and work on things. I have been making an effort to have fun and keep things light as well. It has just been going well lately and I hope we can continue on this slow, steady, good track. Wish me luck!

number 5...We have been broken up since October 14 so we are coming up on 4 months of being broken up on Valentine's Day (awesome.](*,) ) We never did NC. It wasn't for me and our situation/circumstances. There was no cheating or dating others right after the break up. We also lived together and have 3 cats and a dog together. So, it was hard to just ignore each other when he would come over to see them or watch tv (he moved out but still payed rent bc my roomates and I couldn't afford it without a 4th person). I also didn't want to ignore him and he didn't want to ignore me. He had a lot going on in his life at the time (still does) that needed to be figured out and he was depressed. I also had to work on my life and had some things of my own to figure out/work on. We talked about that stuff and tried to help each other out. No, it's not the ideal situation for a broken up couple, but what can I say we are unconventional and weird. Haha. We didn't always talk a lot and weren't always getting along, but very very slowly we started to talk more (only fun light stuff) and hang out bit by bit. We have our friends all in common so that was when we would hang out. It took a few months to be able to hang out alone just he and I. I had to let go of the relationship talk for us to have fun and be normal again. We did talk about it sometimes and came to conclusions that we had to have fun and be friends first before anything else. Also that it was a new relationship, not a continuation of the old one. Although we are not together, we still had those talks so we knew what level we were on in case anything happened. Hope this helps a little! Sorry it got a little lengthy!

Hey guys! Honeyspur and wishiknew thank you so much for your replies! I have worked on the whole being cold-hearted thing and gotten much better with it. I am trying to let go a little of those angry, you broke up with me you jerk! feelings. Haha. I realized that I needed to slowly let go of that if I want to be able to move forward with him. We still talk about our situation sometimes. I asked him what he wanted and he said, "I want you. I want you but I just need to figure out where I am going to be after school is over and everything. I don't want to get back together and then leave 3 months later and have everything fall to crap then. I want it to work and not hurt you ever again." He asked me what I needed from him now and I said that I need him to tell me how he is feeling about me and for me more and to feel important, special and loved. I asked him what he needed and wanted me to do. He said that he will do whatever for me and that he just wants me to be happy. And what I had been doing was great for him, just that he wants us to have fun and less little spats and to be happy with each other again. Hmm. We are still seeing each other a good bit. Almost everyday for at least an hour or so, but not always everyday. We talk everyday though and he initiates it a lot. He still comes over and stays with me. Not very often but usually at least once a week and he said that he would like to stay more if that's okay with me. (obviously it is! ) He has started to kiss me more, like when he is leaving, going to bed, or when we wake up. We cuddle all of the time now and jsut try to enjoy each other. We did have a little "thing" happen the other night. We had planned on him staying over and helping me out with my studying, but I called him and said maybe another time was better since I had to study all night and get up earlier than usual bc of the snow. He kept asking why, why, why? I gave him the same reason over and over. He kept it up and was saying that there must be another reason why I don't want him to come over and wanted to know what was going on. He wanted to know why I didn't want to see him and why I didn't want him to stay over. (In all honesty I just wanted to study and didn't think he would have fun sitting there starring at me while I studied math problems...fun fun huh? haha). I promised him that there was no other reason and finally just told him to do whatever he wanted and he said "okay I'll be over!". Then when he got here he was like I thought you were just doing that thing girls do when they feel bad but really want you there but say they don't and you're supposed to do it anyways bc that's what they want (confused yet? I was. ) I said no I wasn't testing you or anything. He went out to get some food for a while when I was studying and came back and stayed the night then. It ended up working out fine but it was weird that he got a little insecure about the whole thing. Alright, well things have been going well. He still wants to take things very slowly to make sure that we can be happy together and make it work for the long while. Any advice on this is appreciated! Oh and we are going to NYC in a week or so to see my favorite band play and I think it will be a great time for us! At least I hope it is, I need to make sure everything is fun and not stressful! Thanks everyone!!

JJ...I have also tried to will myself and tell myself that I wont pass out when I'm feeling it come on, but it never works! It doesn't work bc it's not what we need to make it better. I was told (and it does help/work) is to get as low to the ground as possible. If your in a place that you can lay down, then do it! Your body will have a much easier time getting blood to your heart and brain, which is what you need in these situations. If you do lay down, another thing that helps is propping your legs up on something. It makes the blood move faster down your legs and to your upper body, which stops the passing out and makes you feel better. If you can't lay down, then sit and lean against something, a wall, chair, whatever. We do this bc in case you do pass out then you're less likely to hurt yourself in the process. You could be hurt pretty badly from a fall like that bc we have no control over our bodies. So always keep that in mind! You should really tell someone about your worsening condition. I know it's not what you want to hear right now and that it sucks. I hated telling people (friends, exboyfriend, parents, doctors) about my condition too, but it really only benefits you bc they can all help you with it! If I felt like I was going to go down, I had a friend come to the bathroom with me if we were out in public or made someone come in and sit with me while I laid on my bed. The doctors can also help you out with possibly getting some medication or something. They are only here to help you and it's always better having someone there help and comfort you when you're feeling bad. Good luck and I'll keep checking back to see how you're doing so don't forget to keep on posting!

JJ I also have syncope. It does seem to happen more (the symptoms and passing out stuff) when I am stressed, tired, or upset. I have learned a few things throughout the past year that I have dealth with it. When I feel those feelings come on, I try to stand up straight (slowly!) and strectch a little. Just your arms and legs to get some circulation going throughout your body. Do it all very slowly though so you don't speed up the process. It helps get the blood moving and speeds up your blood pressure and gets your heart back into a good rythm. My case is where my blood pressure is too low and when it drops to far, my heart rate speeds up and then I pass out. So, since our conditions are a little different, take my advice with a grain of salt. Just trying to help a little. Meditation also helps. Just breathing in deeply and trying to relax your body one section at a time. It's great for everyday life too. Just releases stress and makes you feel better. Just focus on fully relaxing your head and face, then neck, then shoulders and so on until your whole body is less tense and feeling better. They do have medications to help with this condition. My cousin also has this disorder and his is a little different then mine. They put him on Paxil I believe to realive anxiety and stop the passing out. I'm not on meds for it, but I was told by my doctor to drink lots of water, healthy well balanced diet and to also increase salt in my diet (I loved this advice bc I sure do love salt!!). I hope this helps a little. Don't let this disorder get you down. If you worry about it too much and let it stress you out more, then it will only get worse. My ex dumped me about 4 months ago and I know how hard it is and that it doesn't help with syncope, but you still have to live your life and be healthy. It will get better I promise! Feel free to message me or reply to this if you have more questions or just need some advice/someone to vent to. We are all here for you!!

wishiknew...long time not post bud! Things seem to be going pretty well for you right now! I'm glad to hear that you had a good trip with your ex. Oh, and Happy Birthday! Are the talks you guys have about your relationship or just about anything in general? Does she ever talk about getting back together or missing you or anything? How are you reacting to all of this? Are you just hanging out with her or do you go out with other friends sometimes? Do you two have fun together, what are your ususal hang out sessions like and what do you do? Do you ever act like a couple? Haha sorry for the bombard of questions, but just trying to get a little insight here on your situation! Let us know. Oh, Do you think that trip was a good idea and do you feel you get any closer or got any benefit from it? Glad you had a great time though! Keep your chin up and don't leave us hanging here on the boards too long. I very much enjoy reading your posts and seeing how much our situations reflect each others!

Okay it has been a few days since I updated this thread, so here we go! Things with the ex have still been pretty good. Seeing each other regularly, having fun, communication, ect. I can see him putting in more and more effort each day. He came to visit me at work, helped me clean my house, and calls everyday when he says he will. We still message each other throughout the day (he initiates it) and see each other almost everyday or night (he also initiates it). I have been having a problem through all of this though, so some advice and insight would be greatly appreciated! I am having trouble being nice to him. That sounds weird doesn't it?! It's not like I'm down right mean to him or anything, but I just can't be as nice to him as I want to be and he has noticed. I always make it clear that if he doesn't come over that night that it's not a big deal and that if we don't get to talk or see each other, that it's okay and that I don't care. I want to be nice to him and sweet to him, but it's like I can't and I just get pissed off for no reason. I'm thinking it's because I am too afraid to become comfortable in this situation that we are in right now. I don't want to get stuck here. I don't want to be all sweet and nice like everything is okay, while we still aren't dating. We are more than friends but not dating (his words, not mine). We have talked more and more about the relationship and what's happening, ect. He said he just needs to figure out his life and also how he can have me in it. He is still thinking of moving pretty far away (20-25 hours or so) and is worried about that. He asked if I would move there with him and I said I'm not saying I would move or I wouldn't move, that's not a topic of discusion right now, but it would be something to talk about if we were to get back together or something. And if you want to be with me bad enough, you (we) would make it work either way" He seemed to react pretty well to that and it seemed to make him think a little. I just don't know what's wrong with me! I told him " You are being so nice to me and great to me and I can see all of the effort you are putting in to this and I want to be nice and sweet to you, but it's like I can't and like I have a wall that isn't letting me". I also said that I don't know how I will ever trust him again and be able to be 110% myself around him without worry that he will leave me again. He said that he understands and was mean to me for a long time (not so much mean, but he did dump me and wasn't always this sweet to me like he is now...it hurt and does still hurt to think about sometimes. but we are in a good place now..minus this stuff) and that he deserves whatever I say to him and whatever I decide to do about him. We decided to let it go for tonight and are going to talk about it more tomorrow. I know it probably has something to do with me being afraid to get hurt again and now my guard is really up bc of his behavior lately. Yes, I don't want to get hurt again or go through that pain, but it's not gaurented to work with anyone. Is he worth that risk of pain again? I think so, but I would still need to see some improvments on his part and some more communication and heart to heart talks. I just need to do some thinking for myself. He is aware of all of these feelings that I am having. He says he puts in the effort everyday for me and is doing all of this for me. Why can't I just be nice and not so biter towards him? I just want us to have some fun when we are together (we usually do but not as much the past few days bc of my mood and not being able to be as nice as I want to be) but I can't break down this wall I apparently put up one day! Where did it come from and why won't it go away!?! ](*,) I'm not saying I'm being a cold hearted b!tch, but I'm just not being my usual self. I'm being my biter, cynical self. Haha. I just want to be able to be carefree, laid back, and nicer to him! Help me out here people!!

Hey guys, just thought I would stop in to say hi and update everyone, as well as ask for some advice! Things with the ex and I have been pretty good lately. We have talked a little more about what is happening between us. We are more than friends but not dating. We are testing the waters still and just seeing what happens. I have seen him everyday now for the past week or so, even when I don't expect to see him, he shows up for a surprise visit. We have been getting along a lot better and just having fun. He has been more open with me and started to act differently in front of others with me. He will sit close with me and touch me more and stuff. Not holding hands or anything, but leaning on each other and snuggling a bit. It's cute and he initiates it. I know he needs time for this and wants to take this part slow, so I am being understanding and can see that he is putting in the effort bc he knows that I would like to be a little more touchy with each other in public. I can't be away from him for a long period of time (at parties or friend's houses) bc he comes looking for me and I really like that. I don't expect it or anything, but it definitely makes me feel more important. We cuddle more now in private too. While watching tv we just sit together and cuddle, touch, and act cute and stuff. Nothing serious or anything, just that cute stuff that never seemed like a big deal but makes you feel great. The cute stuff! He calls me when he says he will and messages me throughout the day when I'm at class and he is at work. He spent the night last night and we did kiss and fool around a little, but no sex. We cuddled and he held me while we slept and when I left for work in the morning, I wasn't allowed to leave without a hug. He was still asleep but when I woke him up he wouldn't let me leave without a hug and to tell me to have good day and that he would talk to me later and said that he had a good time with me yesterday. It was nice. I don't feel used or anything like that, bc this is part of testing the waters for us. Maybe it's not right for everyone but I think it's right for our situation. He said that he will spend the night more now that his car situation will be fixed . He even said he will bring over work clothes so that he can stay during the week. That surprised me bc I thought he would only ever stay on the weekends when we both don't have to get up at the butt crack of dawn. I know it won't be all of the time or anything but I just enjoy having him there with me to hug and sleep next to again. It is one of the things I missed the most when he was gone. Even when we were together and he was on tour (with the band) this past summer for a month, I missed sleeping next to him the most and our goodnight ritual. (brush our teeth together, take out the dog, get ready for bed, smoke a cigarette together, cuddle for a while, two kisses and a hug then fall asleep together ) But that's beside the point! No sad stuff necessary right now. Haha . He said that he really missed sleeping next to each other, hugging and holding each other and said that "I really hope that we can work this out". Still working on communication and everything. Rebuilding trust will be an issue for me to work on and he knows this adn knows that it will take effort and work on his part and is willing to work on that too. He invited me out to a diner tonight with some friends, but I declined bc I was exhausted from work. I think it's good that I can say no to things now and that he can appreciate the time alone with his friends. I don't mind and know I can go anytime that I feel up for it. He felt bad leaving me home all alone, so he stayed with me for a little tonight before he left. He also went and got me some food and cuddled with me before he left. We hugged and he said he would call me tomorrow during the day (I have mentioned that it bothered me a little that he only ever called at night bc I feel like it's only when he is bored and stuff) and message me throughout the day as well. He also said he would probably be over after his night class tomorrow. His twin brother asked if I wanted to go out tomorrow to hang out and get some food (he's married and we always all go out together..my ex, his brother, and i...don't want it to sound like I'm just going out with his married twin brother! haha ) so we all will probably do that then. Sorry for the long post! I hope everyone has had a great weekend and aren't getting sick (it's going around here!) and aren't getting too much snow (first snow here today! yay!). So be safe everyone and let me know what this all sounds like to you and throw some advice my way! Thanks!!

Hey honeyspur...thanks for the reply! Regarding the roomate situation. Right now there are 3 of us living here. Myself, and two other girls. We all get along pretty well, except the other two don't really like each other but neither one knows the other doesn't like them.. Yeah, it's lame bc they are both great people. Just too different I guess. The problem with the one roomate is that she doesn't do anything, EVER. No cleaning (I swear she doesn't even know where the sink is bc nothing ever makes it there. same with the trash can), no picking up after herself and there are like 15 of our drinking cup just up in her room bc she doesn't bring them down. She has a cat here too. He is about 8 months I would say and hasn't been to the vet at all yet. He was a stray and will start to mark soon. She never bought him a collar (The ex and I bought it for her along with an engraved name tag and she never thanked us, just complained about the color), doesn't buy him food (he eats my cats who don't eat kitten food like he should be doing), doesn't buy litter (or clean the litter boxes), and doesn't pay any attention to him. It might bother us (other roomate, me, and the ex) a little more bc we are all super into animals and would do anything for them, but its still irresponsible. When he starts to mark is when we will start to take action. We have told her repeatedly to take him to the vet and I even offered to make the appt, take him, and have her pay, but she just doesn't care. She also owes me a lot of bills. She never pays the money to me on time, so I end up footing half of the bills and my bank account suffers. I take care of all of the bills but one bc no one else really makes an effort and our old roomate moved out and it was in his name, so I took over that one and the ex's since he moved. She has a bill in her name and never ever pays it on time. I worried that we were going to have our electric shut off last month bc of her tardiness. It's crazy bc she had all of our money but just never paid it. She is just incredibly irresponsible and selfish. She just coasts through life letting us do all of the work. Well mostly me, but I do have 4 animals running around the house so I try to clean the most. My ex is still paying rent here too. Well, I paid last month's for him bc he didn't have it bc he had to pay for his school and his job hadn't started. He didn't want me to, but we made a running tally of how much he owes me and he has started to pay me back. We talked about having him be done with paying rent now, so Jan would be his last month paying. He still wants to give me money every month for our pets but we havent really discused this much. I am also afraid that the ex talks about moving back in only bc he feels we won't work out or be together. Almost like he we are friends now, let's be friendly roomates...? make any sense or am I just paraniod? We would have separate rooms but isn't that just weird? I mean I don't want him to move back in and will tell him that if he brings it back up, but if he is willing/wanting to move back in (it wasnt the first time we talked about it) then doesn't that sort of throw a wrench into us? I don't know maybe I am being crazy again. I don't think he is giving up on music so much as putting it on hold. He has a ridiculously busy semester and his band is pretty much down the tubes. One guy just graduated and moved back home (2 hours away) and the other guy is engaged and getting married soon and then they don't have a singer. I think he would love to join a good band again, but there just aren't many around this area. He would have to move somewhere else to find a decent band. He's really good (guitar) so it's a big deal to him how good they are. He said he just needs to take a little break from it and see how everything goes. Also something about growing up was said, but I can't remember the exact words. I hope he doesn't give it up bc I know it's his goal/dream. Who knows!? Thank you for following my posts still adn for the kind words! I try and communicate as best I can with him. I could talk about problems and different things allllllll day long (I am always the one who talks to friends about their problems and then tries to help out, like a mini psychologist haha) and then he doesn't like to talk as much and not as long. He has to be approached right and in a decent mood to get him to talk about anything like that. He's getting better though, I have noticed and he brings it up more now. Thanks again honeyspur and wishiknew!

Hey everyone! Just a short update...I promise! No novels tonight, I have a long day tomorrow and need to get to bed. I hate mornings! My ex did message me throughout the day today and we talked about getting together tonight. I saw him briefly when I came home to get ready for work and he stopped in to get a guitar to mail out that he sold. I called him as I was done work to see what he wanted to eat and if anyone else wanted anything too. I took food home and ate with him, my roommate and another friend. They left soon after we were done and my ex and I hung out for about an hour. We talked about when we would see each other this weekend and how he feels that I don't really seem to care if we hang out or not. I try to not put pressure on him to hang out with me and told him I don't want him to feel like he has to out of guilt, fear of me being mad, or obligation. He said it wasn't those things and that he really wants to see me and hang out and it's like I just don't care. I told him I did but that it also wasnt a big deal or the end of the world if we don't see each other or talk everyday. He says he will most likely see me after the studio (him) and the bar (me) on Friday. I'm going out to see a friend off to the Marines, so guess what? I do have a life outside of him! YAY! We talked about some other things such as his music career (I told him not to give up), getting a real job after graduation, and moving. Now he is talking about maybe moving somewhere closer thats only an hour and a half or so away. He also said he wouldn't mind staying here in this area if he could find a good job. He also said he doesn't know where he is going to live yet this semester. I asked "well it's either your mom's or *friend's* house (he used to live there before we moved in together and has some of his stuff over there already and paid this months rent...still sleeps at his moms though) and he said "well my mom's, my old house, or we could kick *roommate* out and I'll move back in." (we are having some problems with our one roommate and don't know what to do). Haha wouldn't that be ridiculous?! Two ex's living together again. We said we wouldn't live together again unless it was super super serious bc it jsut makes it so much harder on us right now and now he is talking abut possibly moving back in. Yes, we would have separate rooms, but man that is such a bad idea. I would never be able to get over him then if this doesn't work out and even if it does, it's just still not a good idea. I didn't give my opinion about it though bc it's not necessary or important to right now. Give me some feedback! I won't see him much this weekend bc of our busy schedules so I think it will be a good thing. Thanks guys! PS- does anyone know any good ideas for really dry hands?! Mine are getting pretty bad and I use lotion a lot to try and keep them from cracking. My hands are subjected to a lot of hot water and stuff at work from the dishwasher and then being out in the cold walking to class...any ideas/suggestions/home remides?! Thanks! 8-[

wishiknew... What's an open relationship mean to you guys? Like seeing other people too or more communication and talking about emtions and stuff? Just a little confused here on what this means. You guys do seem to be doing good though! The hanging out, talking, little bits of touching/cuddling...all good things! This is how my ex and I started out. I still wait around for my ex's calls sometimes too but not all of the time. I know about the times he should be calling and usually he does and sometimes not on time or something, but I know how you feel! Try to just focus on something else at those times and then it always seems like they call then when you're not thinking about them. I think your bday trip together will be fun and a good stepping stone for you guys. Just don't talk about the relationship too much and try to make it as fun and easy going as possible. I think things are going well for you two, slow, but good. It should be taken slow though so just give her that time. I know how it feels and if you think she is worth the time and waiting then do it! Only do it until you feel you can't or don't want to anymore. It's all up to you on how long you give her and everything. It's not all about her bc your important too and don't forget that! You have a role in this too and are your #1 priority now so don't forget about yourself. Good luck and keep us updated! We have a pretty similar situation, just at different points right now. Stay positive!

Today was a weird day. I had school alllll day and was up at 6am for that and had a lot of homework to do as well. My ex was acting pretty funny today, so I'm going to need some feedback. I'll try to keep this short, bc I know my posts usually get pretty lengthy. My ex called me last night as I was on my way home from work and asked if I wanted to go to a diner with him and some friends. I said I wasn't sure and he kept telling me to come and that it would be fun and that they wouldn't stay very long. I just told him that I couldn't bc I was super tired and had to get up early the next day and still had to get some dinner and shower. He said okay and said he would call me the next day after work. I think it was good that I could show him that I'm not always going to run to his side and can have a life of my own and everything. It was one of the things that I needed to work on and I hope he sees that. Thoughts? He never called me after work so I left my house around 5:30ish and went and ran some errands and went to visit my parent's house. I got back home around 8:30 (still with no call) and he was here. I just went into my room (it's right inside and I didn't have to pass through the room he was in) and started on my school work. He came in and was really concerned as to why I didn't come in and say hi to him and why I was being distant and that he just wanted to talk for a few minutes before I started in on my work. He apologized for not calling and thought I was at work since I wasn't at the hosue when he got there. He said he got out of work late (5:20ish ) and went home to change and stuff and then came right over and has been sitting around, watching tv, waiting for me. I did my homework and our one friend (his best friend, but also my good friend) came over and they were wathcing a movie and just hanging out while I studied. Then we went to get some food and he was constantly asking me what was wrong and why I was being mean and distant? (I swear I wasn't being mean! I just wasn't up his butt all night and he wasn't my #1 focus). He took out the trash for me (I hate doing it and my other roommates would never ever do it..they don't do anything around the house ) and took out the dog too. He made his friend leave a little before him (they usually walk out to their cars together) so that we could talk. He wanted to know what was wrong and why I was being mean/distant? I told him nohting was wrong and that I was just tired and that I swore I wasn't mad at him (I wasn't mad at him I promise!). We talked about our days a little and then how busy he will be (super busy with school, work full-time, 2 bands, Saturday class, recording with the one band, ect) and I said Wow you won't have much time for anything else (not even referring to me) and he was like "Oh don't worry I'll still have a lot of time for us" (there's an "us"???). He also made plans with me for tomorrow night and said he would send me messages throughout the day and call me adn let me know that I can always call him at work bc he isn't busy (tax season just started) and he can talk at work. He asked for a hug and I gave him a half hug bc I was leaning on my one arm and he gave me a big hug and squeezed me really tight and let go a little and pulled me back in and burrowed his head into my neck. Then he left. ](*,) I don't know if he is just being like this bc I was being a little distant tonight and didn't see him yesterday. He mentioned not seeing me yesterday adn that I didn't come out to the diner and acted all sad about it. I don't want him to just act like this when I am being distant or busy and stuff. I hope he keeps acting this way towards me and keeps putting in effort and everything. Let me know what you all think and what your opinions are on his behavior! Thanks everyone!!

wishiknew...keep us updated and let us know how it's going! I want to hear more from you on here. We can compare stories and try to figure these crazy ex creatures out!

I know! I completely feel the same way. Like if you want to be with me, than be with me and if not, then don't drag me along. I feel it is worth it too but somtimes my paitence becomes weak and it's hard for me to not say anything or just get annoyed and fed up but other times I am fine and am happy with the way it's going. Make sense? Probably not, but i think love sometimes makes you crazy. I forgot to mention in my last post that I told him that I don't need him to buy me stuff or anything, that I just want to feel loved and special and that's all he needs to do for me. I tried to make that a very clear, important point to him. That I just want to feel special to him and to be loved. How hard is that? He said he understands and wants to try hard to do that for me. He also said that he just wants his life to be simple. So, I told him that I'm not a simple girl and he knows that. I am stubborn, strong willed, have issues, am complex, complicated, and am by no means simple and that if he wants a simple life then I'm not the girl for him bc I'm not simple. He said "No! I never said I wanted my girlfriend to be simple, just my life. Never said anything about my girlfriend being simple! Just my life." ??? Yeah I don't really get how that works out so much. haha. I don't think I will see him tonight or a lot this week bc he is working full-time now and going to school and I am going to school full-time and working part time. He also has band practices for his brother's band too (he writes the music) so our time seeing each other will be few and far between I think. I talked to him a little online today while he was at work but am assuming tonight will be "ex" free and won't see him.

wishiknew...I agree with what you're saying. I definitly think that he is holding something back. I also feel that I am holding something back too. I am doing it to protect myself and my heart a little. I think he is doing it bc he still isn't sure of his life and what will happen with us. He may be doing it to protect me a little bc he is always saying that he never wants to hurt me again and hates it more than anything when I am upset. He may also be trying to protect himself as well since he doesn't want me to be mad at him and to make sure his feelings are all there while we test this out. Who knows?! Ex's are weird. Well, we went out on Friday night to celebrate my birthday. All of our friends were there and we were having a good time. My ex and I did get into it a little that night though. He said he might leave the bar (we had been there for maybe 20 minutes) bc his ex girlfriend (from 4 years ago!) was going to be coming with her fiance (the guy she left my ex for). I didn't mind that she was coming but was upset that he would even think about leaving my birthday celebration bc she was going to be there with her fiance. LAME! He said he just didn't want to see her or talk to her or deal with it. I asked if he wasn't over her and if he was happy that he wasn't with her anymore. He said he was more than over her and had been for years and that he would never want to be with her again and is happy that they broke up 4 years ago. FOUR YEARS AGO! My first love is in my one class and we have the same major. I didn't realize this until I walked into class on Wednesday. Talk about a surprise, but I was nice and talked with him and am not going to let it bother me. It's the adult thing to do and that's what I was telling my ex. He apologized and told me that he knows it was a mistake to even think about leaving and that he hopes we can have fun the rest of the night. So I let it go, although it still did bother me that he would leave. We finished out the night and got into it a little more when we got home. I usually barely drink anything, but my friends were just buying me drinks left and right. I started to deny them and wouldn't drink anymore, bc I don't like to be crazy drunk and getting sick or anything. I could still walk smoothly and was just silly and having fun, but got into a fight with the ex when we were home. We said some things and I told him it was over and he said it wasn't and that we should just go to bed and talk about it later when there isn't alcohol involved. So we went to bed and that was that. Yeah I know it wasn't a bright moment on my part and I regret it a little but I can't go back in time. He called me the next day (Saturday) and asked what I was doing? I replied with nothing really and he asked if I wanted to go to a nice mall about 30 minutes away with him? I agreed and he said he was going to go alone to get my bday present but figured that I would like to go and then he would be able to get me something he knew that I liked. So we went and had a good time. I didn't find anything that I liked though but it was still a good day. We talked about the fight the night before on the way home. I apologized and he apologized. I told him that I feel like everything is on his terms and that if I overstep any lines or say something wrong that he might just pull the plug on the whole thing. He said its not like that and that he wouldn't do that and wants me to be able to do whatever I want and say whatever I want. He just hates fighting about it. I told him that I feel like I put in 100% while he is only putting in like 45%. He said that he has really been trying but maybe its nto in the right way and that he will try to put in effort in a different way and see how that works. He had also said the previous night that he is trying to make decisions about his life and depending on the decisions if I can factor in or not. I said that he doesn't have to make all of his life decisions right now and all at once and can work them out separately and thats what couples do. They support each other and work things out. He said he knows and that he just needs time. I asked if this meant that I had to wait 6 months for him to decide (thats when the semester is over and he graduates) if I factor in and he said no, definitly not bc he will have to all figured out before school is over. He said he might not even play music anymore and that he made it sound bad my saying I might not factor in and that he didn;t mean it that way. He said that he jsut needs time and want to work on things still and will work on the things I'm not happy with and I said okay well I can't wait forever and I will work on the things you aren't happy with. All in all I guess it was an okay conversation. I can't remember all of the details but it seemed like a good talk to me. We hung out for the rest of the night too. Watched tv, went to a friend's house and got some dinner. He also spent the night that night too bc it was my bday the next day. We woke up the next day and had a little fun. Then I went to dinner with my mom and hung out with my family a little. I went back home then and he showed up like 20 minutes later with some food for the dog and supplies for the cats. I am usually always in charge of that stuff, so it was nice of him to take the reins and do that for once. We watched a movie on tv and acted silly all night. He kept tickling my feet (hate that!) and just poking fun at me, while I would tickle him and try to put hsi hair in a ponytail and braid it and stuff (its curly and to almost to his shoulders...he hates it when I mess with it). It was all in fun and we were just having a good time acting like middle school kids. We went to eat with 2 friends later and he paid for my food. We hung out at the house talking for a few hours with our one friend then when we got back. He hugged me when he left and wished me a happy bday again and said he would see me tomorrow. I know that we had a little glitch on Friday and that he still needs time to figure everything out and that I need to be paitent. I'm not sure how much longer I can wait though. Definilty not 6 months or anything. He says he still loves me very much and loves the time we spend together. This is all just so weird and confusing. I know we talk about it and communicate (which is something we agreed that we need to work on more and try to do more often) but it still bothers me sometimes. He says he sees me more than anyone else and enjoys that and hanging out but isnt that dating then? I mean come on! Neither of us are interested in anyone else and always see each other and go places together. Our friends must get really confused about the whole thing. Haha. Sorry that this was so long and detailed. I hope everyone had a good weekend. I'll keep on updating daily bc this is like my journal now.

Thanks for the birthday wishes wishiknew! I hope everything is going better for you...keep me updated! I started school this week so I have been pretty busy lately! I also got a bad hair cut and color. I asked for red streak (I have redish brown hair) and the girl gave me blonde streaks and I asked for long bangs and she gave me short ones!! I was sooo furious but I'm going to fix it this weekend. Everyone says is looks good though, so I guess I can deal with it for now. grr. So, I don't really know where I left off with my last post but I'll just hit some important points. He asked me to go bowling with his friends last night so we rounded up some of our other friends and went out bowling! It was a lot of fun. We all were super into it and cheering and having a good ol' time. My friend who likes me was there with his friends (the one who my ex had a little freak out session over..saying he can't be around when the person he loves falls in love with someone else and such) so that was a little bit of a surprise. I spent time with both, more with my ex and friends but I would go over and talk to him every once in a while. My ex made some comments about it (like "Oh your over talking to your new boyfriend" and when I mentioned something about him not caring about it he said "I never said that I don't care. I don't like him" I asked why and he said "bc I don't have any reason to like him and he keeps looking over here at me." and "I see you looking over at your new boyfriend" blah blah balh and some other random comments. My friend also made a comment about it saying "I don't think your boyfriend is very happy right now" I asked why and he said " bc your back and forth all night between us" and I said well he's not my boyfriend, I'm single and I can do whatever I want. I didnt make any indication that I liked him in any way more than a friend though.) I just played them all off and didnt let it bother me. We had a really good time just laughing and joking around. The ex was very attentive to me last ngiht. He wanted to pay for my bowling and food after but I had already paid both before he said anything. He would share his seat with me and touched me a lot more. Like putting his hand on my back and stuff like that. Just little stuff that is barely noticeable to anyone but us. No bad times were had that night. When we got home he cuddled with me on the couch a little bit and asked if I wanted him to spend the night tomorrow night (tonight) and I said sure if you want to. We are going out to celebrate my bday tonight and he was syaing that if i'm lucky that maybe i will get lucky tomorrow. I told him that he is just saying that bc he is horny and he said it wasn't and that he's not right now or something. Before he left we talked a little more about stuff. I said something about my dog being the only thing/person that I can rely on and he said "what about me? you can rely on me!" and I said oh since your always so full of false promises. (in a nice way. there was no fighting or angry/annoying tones all night. it was a civil calm conversation with a light hearted comedic sense to it) and he said "what do you mean? I thought I was doing pretty well this week" and I said yeah you have been but when was the last time we cuddled together and that I don't have any expectations anymore and am going to let it go with the flow bc I'm not putting effort into something that someone else won't put any/enough effort into and he said "I have been putting in effort and trying to keep my promises, seriously I have!" So I said alright and thank you for that and left it go. I didn't want to end such a good night in a bad way. So he asked for a hug (and he gave me a good one. I love hugs! haha) and told me to call him after I work tomorrow. I called him today after I got off work and now I am going to be leaving in like 10 minutes to go pick him up to go to the mall and the bank. I hope that we have a good night again tonight and that he wasn't just being super nice to me bc my friend was there and everything or bc it's my birthday soon. I hope its genuine and from his heart. Any way that I can tell if its an act or from his heart? Let me know what you all think of his actions and such. I need some advice on what to do! I have been trying to hold back more and be a little more distant so I don't get all smothery or creepy. I just want him to wonder a little about me and my feelings sometimes. Let me know!! Thanks!