aaargh Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 my girl would rather do drugs than be with me, not being with her isn't an option so what can i do? Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 What do you mean? Has she said that? or does your girlfriend like to do drugs and you don't?... and you don't understand why she does? Link to comment
southerngirl Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 A few questions so that better advice may be given. How old are you and your girlfriend? How long have you been dating? What kind of drugs is she doing? Do you mean that you told her not to do them and she is choosing to do them? Link to comment
jengh Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Why is not being with her not an option? I don't know, I would think if someone I cared for put drugs before me, knowing I was against them, they wouldn't be worth my time and they shouldnt be worth yours. Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 i think if the issue is her doing drugs and you not approving... it is a totally different issue if you are giving her an ultimatum or she just likes drugs and you don't Plenty of couples like letting loose once in a while on drugs.. Sometimes its awesome doing something like that with your partner.. \ If however that is not your thing..and it it is hers.. I'd see it would be difficult for your personalities to mesh Link to comment
aaargh Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 A few questions so that better advice may be given. How old are you and your girlfriend? How long have you been dating? What kind of drugs is she doing? Do you mean that you told her not to do them and she is choosing to do them? in our 20's, only a while but known each other for 5 years, heroin and crack, yes Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 ok I like my drugs very rarely once in a while.. but heroin and crack?!?!?... it might be a bit hypocritical... but there ARE some drugs which are worse than others.. and those too are the worst (and meth!) would never touch those... if you do love her.. can you help her? Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Answer is very simple. You told her not to do it, but she continues to do it. If you're not willing to dump her, then you have two options. Keep it all inside or continue to fight about it. Either way, you're gonna be frustrated to the point where you two will break up anyways. Link to comment
aaargh Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 this is what i mean, i've done stupid stuff like pot and coke in the past but this is another level. I don't know what i can do to help she keeps associating herself with drug users and i can't be there 24 hours a day as i have to work. Link to comment
shikashika Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Answer is very simple. You told her not to do it, but she continues to do it. If you're not willing to dump her, then you have two options. Keep it all inside or continue to fight about it. Either way, you're gonna be frustrated to the point where you two will break up anyways. I agree with what you are trying to say but 'telling' someone that you will break up with them or else... is very patronising.. If you truly cared about someone you would hope you would still treat them like an adult despite ( in your and in his opinion) the bad choices she is making Link to comment
CanadianGirl Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 HEROIN & CRACK?!?!?!??!? GET HER TO DETOX/REHAB BEFORE SHE O.D'S and if she won't then you should get the hell out of that mess. those 2 drugs alone are a life-sucking, never-ending high chasing physical/psychological addiction......no wonder she's dissing you for them. I say get the hell out before you get sucked in too! Link to comment
Dako Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I'd try to get her to rehab or just stop, but if you stick with her too long she can pull you down the drain. Those drugs aren't exactly party favors, and eventually you'll have to make a choice. Watch out for yourself, and hide your valuables. Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I agree with what you are trying to say but 'telling' someone that you will break up with them or else... is very patronising.. If you truly cared about someone you would hope you would still treat them like an adult despite ( in your and in his opinion) the bad choices she is making No, don't misinterpret, I didn't say anything about an ultimatum. He told her what he wants and she declined. Now he has a decision on what he wants to do. This isn't giving an ultimatum, this is him deciding what he wants to do, no threats. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 this is what i mean, i've done stupid stuff like pot and coke in the past but this is another level. I don't know what i can do to help she keeps associating herself with drug users and i can't be there 24 hours a day as i have to work. Relationships aren't very much fun if you feel like you have to be more of a parent to a drug abuser than an equal partner to a healthy, stable person. Drugs are priority for an addict.... heroin and crack are addictive. If you don't want to leave her than you have a couple of choices like someone else posted. 1. Deal with it in silence because she made her choice. 2. Argue and fight with her and get nowhere because the drugs are always going to come first until and unless she decides to get clean. Why do you want to stay with someone who is so fundementally incompatible? Why is leaving not an option? Link to comment
one2many Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Forget any relationship right now. Get this girl some help! Link to comment
Hope75 Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Forget any relationship right now. Get this girl some help! The tricky thing about addiction.... he can't help her. She has to want it for herself and have the motivation and dedication to change. It's very difficult and takes alot of commitment from her. If she were to decide that and take definitive action towards it (as in going to rehab and staying clean) he could certainly support that, but getting clean is something a person has to do on their own. But I agree that a relationship is not in the OP's best interest because his gf has already shown him with her actions that drugs come before him, and always will. Link to comment
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