I get angry cus he won't come see me

[nadine_3110]

I know this might seem a petty issue but, ok here's the thing, I only see my bf on weekends, we have been going out for almost 9 months. The relationship is pretty great. Ok so during the week he works and I go to school. But I want to see him during the week, like once, whatever. And I get very angry with him when he says it's not a good idea because he's tired, or he has to work the next day, or it would take too long on the bus for me to get to his place. He lives about 20 mins away. It pisses me off that he can't take his vehicle and drive to see me. It doesn't really seem to bother him that he doesn't see me during the week. It's just not fair. And I serioulsy get angry at him for it, for the rest of the week. Until the weekend when I'm so happy to see him that I can't seem to remember how angry I was.

 

I just don't understand how he can not text me during the day like I do, how he can just go without talking to me, how he can stand not seeing me during the week. I ask him how come it doesn't bother him, and he says because he just thinks about the next time he'll see me, not when he won't see me. It drives me nuts!

 

Comments...

[Massari]

well I don't think you are unreasonable at all. you wanna see him and he doesn't seem to see you as often. how long has this been going on? I mean after 9 months you still have this problem.? and yes it is something to be pissed about because I was in your shoes before except that I was the guy who wanted to see my gf alot. and eventually let to lots of problems and I dumped her.. not because of that but that was one of the reasons too... talk to him ( you might have probably did that) and make a decision.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I know how annoying and hard it is I only see my bf on Monday's, thats the only day we get together and usually its spent doing stuff for my son so we dont really get mucha lone time and we dont really talk much during the week since he works so late but I see it this way the less I see him during the week we're away from each other the happier i am to see him when we finally get to see each other. Just look at it that way and it will make things go easier.

[shep88ner]

i know it may be hard, but if you feel that he is neglecting you then i think it might be time to either: 1. have a serious talk to him about it and how you feel or 2. leave him and look elsewhere.

 

i do not agree with him blowing you off as it seems he is. he seems to have him priorities screwed up to where all he does is work and sleep and ignore his girlfriend. The fact that he has a car and still doesnt come see you is what concerns me the most. he might not be commited to this relationship as much as you are. he actually suggests you ride a bus to see him when he has a car??? that's messed up in my opinion.

 

i think you need to step back and analyize the situation as a whole. dont make a decision based on emotion. wait until you're complelty calm and think about it.

 

but from what you said you do deserve better and i know that if i did this with my girlfriend, i would have been out in the cold long ago!

[Massari]

The fact that he has a car and still doesnt come see you is what concerns me the most. he might not be commited to this relationship as much as you are. he actually suggests you ride a bus to see him when he has a car??? that's messed up in my opinion.

 

exactly.. this is what striked me too.. how can he suggest you take the bus??

[nadine_3110]

He didn't suggest I take a bus, I suggested it, because I really wanted to see him and I didn't care how long it took.

[nadine_3110]

but I see it this way the less I see him during the week we're away from each other the happier i am to see him when we finally get to see each other. Just look at it that way and it will make things go easier.

 

But I don't like the way the relationship is moving, I want to see him MORE. I am always happy to see him, always, but I don't want to be angry at him during the week because of this. If I saw him once during the week, I'm sure I would be happier.

[Massari]

He didn't suggest I take a bus, I suggested it, because I really wanted to see him and I didn't care how long it took.

 

not much difference.. is there? he doesn't care if you do take it or not..thats the point here,

[Mythical_Suicide]

Well all you can do is talk to him and if things have been going this way for so long now it's doubtful it will change.

[zerohalo]

To be honest, I was like this in college. My ex really wanted to see me during the day (for 1 year we went to the same school), wanted to hold hands and what-not on campus. I was a moronic-freak for telling her no. In my mind, she would be a distraction to what I was doing, so I waited until my stress was gone (the weekend) to pay her attention.

 

It was stupid, it was selfish, and it sounds an awful lot like your situation.

[VeganBohemian]

I have this same problem in my relationship. I only see him Friday through Sunday morning (I stay overnight 2 nights---which I guess isn't so bad). But, I don't see him from Sunday morning through Friday afternoon---which is a damn long time. We have different schedules and he is very high-strung and uptight about his classes. He has a night class on Tuesday and classes during the day, so that is out. Wednesday I work late (it's not a real job, I just sit in the computer lab. He could visit me there), and Thursday, well since it is Thursday and I don't get out of class til 7:15 at night, we might as well just wait for Friday.

 

What made me really mad is the fact that he said prior to the semester starting that he WANTED to see me for 2 days during the week excluding Friday and Saturday---which would mean 4 days a week. He said that we should "practice living together". He even said we could do our homework together. Now, he kind of took it back indirectly because when I mentioned seeing him during the week, he said our schedules are busy. * * *?

 

I sympathize with your predicament. However, he probably just has a higher level of security than you. I honestly don't think this kind of issue stems from one person not being interested or committed. Usually, it is just a different mindset or different expectations among the two individuals.