texasman123 Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 I realize that when people "take a break" the majority of the time it ends witht hte end of the relationship buty i wanted to get some feedback in my case.... We have been together for about 2 years. We have had a few rocky times, but have always persevered. The last month or so we have been fighting over some of the dumbest things ever. She has still been very attentive, even being upset with me for not being as affectionate as she would like on new years. She alwasy would go the extra mile, and got me literally 6 different presents on christmas. there was no seeing any problems coming. A week before our "break" there was a disagreement over an event and we fought over it a bit, but eventually things were fine for a few days, and we both got over it. It was a total miscommunication. She was then rude to me on the phone one night for no apparent reaosn and I got mad at her tone. She claimed it was no big deal, and we argued a bit. I claimed i was obviously causing her stress recently and i wanted to figure out why. she dismisse this, but as we kept talking she said maybe we should take a break. I disagreed, but then jsut said fine, thinking this would pass. Its been two weeks now. I called her her last week and got no reply. She called the next daya nd said she wnated to talk but thought she needed more time. I left her alone, she text'd me int he middle of the week saying she cared but needed more time, and knew we eventually needed to talk. She then called again, but i was busy, i called her and got nothing. My question is this - its been two weeks - we are not broken up, and it seems she is stalling. I feel if she wanted to break up she would just do it since she stated she "knows" we need to talk and needs time????, and not prolong things. But, then again its been awhile since we have seen each other and it feels weird and I would think it would for her too. Any thoguhts on what she is doing? I am perplexed. She is not a slutty girl at all and is in fact petrified of that sort of thing, but i could use some advice....could this just be a break that she needs? Link to comment
need2bme Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Some people are very bad with confrontations. I am very bad with confrontations. I think that is all it is and I am sure she cares, but does not know what to say. Do you? Are you ready for this? Because you guys have to talk about it and it may end up that you break up for a while. Can you talk about this rationally and calmly. Can you not get angry or in any slight arguments as mentioned in the OP? Just try and stay calm and let her know you are ready when she is. Most importantly though, don't say ANYTHING you DON'T mean and DON'T hold ANYTHING in. Good luck! Link to comment
kekep Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 To be honest, the situation does not sound good. Don't call or text her anymore, just assume it is over b/w you 2. She'll find a way to get in touch with you if she wants to make it work. My next question is: why would you want to be with someone who is this flaky about her feelings? Link to comment
Joneysnai Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 hmm well if it has been two weeks and you say she seems like she is stalling, why don't you be the bigger person and initiate a conversation. it's obvious she doesn't want to talk about the issues you guys are having which lead to the "break". if it's just a matter of you wanting to know if you have really broken up for good, u should ask her. right now your relationship is in limbo it sounds like. she contacts you every now and then just to tell you she needs more time, how long are u going to wait for her til she is ready to settle things? you can't wait around forever so you should get her to talk about it once or for all or make the break an official one. regardless if this is a break she needs, she still has to take your feelings and you into consideration. she can't expect u to wait around forever. seriously, the best thing for you to do is to just ask her because the questions you are asking can only be answered by her. Link to comment
texasman123 Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 Thanks for the advive: She called last night and we did indeed break-up. She said that she "lost her feelings" for us and that she felt like i did as well. This is partially true, but during the two week break I missed her terribly and felt differently. We have been down this road before. We broke up last december only to get back in march. Up until yesterday things had been great (family's were tight, lots of fun times), but I think she doesn't trust our relationshp and feels everything needs to constantly be "perfect". I felt like for a time we were in a bit of a rut, but it was more serious to her. The maddening thing is that she claims everything else is fantastic (friendship, intamacy, conversations) with us but she just thinks something is missing. I have no idea if this is from the sting of a failed relationship before me of many years, or that fact that she is a few years younger, but she takes it seriously. Last year when we broke up she said the EXACT same thing, but then she made a huge amount of effort to get back with me. I feel this could happen again, but who knows. I am just going to move on i think and try to forget about her, and see where things go. I do love her very much, and hope desperate things will work out, but its out of my hands.... Link to comment
bubbles07 Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 hey texasman, i too am going through a situation where afte 6 years, she broke it off because she felt like she just loved me as a friend. All we can do is just leave them alone and just move on. If they feel different later on, they will llet us know, until then just give them space. How long did it take for her to come back last time? Link to comment
texasman123 Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 hey texasman, i too am going through a situation where afte 6 years, she broke it off because she felt like she just loved me as a friend. All we can do is just leave them alone and just move on. If they feel different later on, they will llet us know, until then just give them space. How long did it take for her to come back last time? It took a few months. We still talked every once in awhile and things just keep building until we got back together. She freaks out a lot (ironically in the winter months mostly). The odd thing is that when i have broken up with women i gradually feel for them less and less as i see them. for her it built everytime she saw me. So i don't know. We are back to square one though...... I wouldn't be surprised if we got back, but this could be it. I am going to give her nothing this time though. No dinners. no textes. no hangin out. she needs to face life without me and then judge if she made the right choice.....i miss her already but thats how it has to be...the one thing is that it took a very long time to "get back" together. almost like a new relationship... Link to comment
bubbles07 Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Yeah that is the only thing you can do is let her see what it is like for you not to be in her life. Thats the only way she is going to realize what she wants. Otherwise she'll just keep leaving and going as she pleases. Plus it'll be good for you to do it for yourself. I hope it does work out in the end. Good luck Link to comment
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