What to do?

[johnnynz]

My ex and I broke up about 9 months ago, after 3 1/2 years. We just weren't getting on after moving in together, constant arguing, etc. I don't think either of could be bothered putting in any effort so as you'd expect the relationship fell apart and I ended up being told one day that was the end of us. Sure, it wasn't half unexpected, but still hurt a lot.

 

In that time she's dated a few people, I've tried dating a few (all have turned out less than promising). We've kept in semi-casual contact and recently (past month or two) started seeing each other more often.

 

She has now got rid of the guy she was seeing (apparently he wasn't boyfriend material) and we've somewhat decided to try things again.

 

I'm for this, I love her to bits, but the word from her camp is far less straightforward. She is dead keen on taking things slowly, maintaining her own space, and for the moment, only wants to see me every two weeks or so.

 

My questions are well;

 

a) Is it too much of me to expect starting from a 'clean-slate'?

b) Now that we're back together, is me expecting to see her more than every fortnight too much?

 

I do love her, but really don't know how to proceed. I'd like things to work between us but she doesn't really seem a ready as before for commitment once again. Unsure what to do, how to act..

[fleur-de-lis]

Maybe she is not ready for a relationship if she has just broken-up with the other guy. She may want to solve her issues and (talking from my recent experience ) she may be afraid that things between you may never change (the constant arguing, no effort for the relationship). Prove her you can be different, and take it real slow, you dont want to be the rebound relationship.

Don't push her to date you more often than she wants it, a psychologist once said that in a relationship, the 2 persons involved should date as seldom as the more reluctant person wants to. Sorry for my english... I mean that you should respect her own rythm of taking things.