jerryhalla Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 Hi dated a girl for 7 years, and recently we broke up for me because she said that her feelings for me are more like a friend than a boyfriend. She said she doesn't love me as a boyfriend no more. Can her feelings for me come back if I keep it NC? I know NC is for me and that it won't bring her back. I just want to know if it will enhance the chances and make her miss me which in result may make her realize that she does love me? Also has there been any sucess stories of people in similar situations where the dumper told that person they don't love them? Espcially where woman have felt that way. Link to comment
kekep Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 From my personal experience, I have found that it is very hard for a person's old feelings to come back once they've lost them. My ex and I broke up for a year, and even though we got back together, that original luster that comes with the honeymoon stage of the relationship was never fully renewed. It never quite got back to the way I wanted things to be. That isn't to say it isn't possible for her feelings to come back; plenty of people breakup and get back together, and their relationships are better than ever. So who knows! And this goes without saying (you said so yourself): don't use NC to try and bring your ex back. The ONLY chance you have of bringing your ex back to you in any way is by completely letting go of the idea of getting back together and moving on. Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 Not to give you false hope, but I have fallen back in love with an ex, after an almost three-year hiatus of not having any romantic feelings for him. So yes, though highly improbable, it is still possible. Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Even if you see some kind of reaction to the NC, the effect will only be temporary as she's responding to the NC and not out of her feelings for you. Seeing things this way amounts to psychological game playing and only leads to false hope and a lot of wasted time for you. So best to skip the games and play it straight up. When a girl loses feelings for a guy, it's very tough to turn it around. In a situation like yours, I've never seen it work. So do this, if you still are very much emotionally affected by her, then do some NC so you can deal with the situation rationally and not make emotional decisions. this is phase 1 NC. Then once you are feeling stronger, you can talk to her again and get a final answer out of her. If she gives you anything other than an outright "yes I want you back right now", then time for NC phase 2 which means you move on for real and don't look back as she will not change her mind. If you can have this conversation with her right now, feel free, but you can't look back. Also, the friends route or waiting around in the background method have both been proven 100% ineffective to get your ex back. They just don't work. Link to comment
lmtl Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 When a girl loses feelings for a guy, it's very tough to turn it around. Do you think it's different when a guy says he's lost his feelings for a woman? Is that any more possible to turn around? Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Do you think it's different when a guy says he's lost his feelings for a woman? Is that any more possible to turn around? Yes very different. Guys and girls are different psychologically and do things for different reasons. This advice only applies to guys like the original poster. Link to comment
ScreenagerX Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Not to give you false hope, but I have fallen back in love with an ex, after an almost three-year hiatus of not having any romantic feelings for him. So yes, though highly improbable, it is still possible. Perhaps there is a slim chance of hope for my marriage after all then....................... Link to comment
Cindersam Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 How is it different for guys as far as being able to turn it around? Link to comment
Cindersam Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Yes very different. Guys and girls are different psychologically and do things for different reasons. This advice only applies to guys like the original poster. This is the quoe I was referring to. Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Not very familiar with that honestly. I don't want to mislead you. Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Perhaps there is a slim chance of hope for my marriage after all then....................... Perhaps. All I know, is that in my particular situation, both myself, as well as my ex, happened to change in such ways that have effectively worked to bring us closer together. Rather than "growing apart from each other", "apart, we each separately grew together"...if that makes any sense. Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 feelings can always come back. BUT! it's something you shouldn't count on. Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 feelings can always come back. BUT! it's something you shouldn't count on. Perfect point. I agree whole-heartedly!!! Link to comment
jerryhalla Posted January 16, 2007 Author Share Posted January 16, 2007 Yeah I'm not banking on them coming back, just curious to know if it is possible seeing that a lot of people say that once a woman has lost her feelings for a man that they never get them back. I always hear stories of men going back to woman after they have told them they don't love them but I've never heard of woman going back to men after they said that they don't love them. Thats why I'm curious to know if it happens or not. Link to comment
ScreenagerX Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 feelings can always come back. BUT! it's something you shouldn't count on. I 100% agree. I have moved on, gotten to a good place in myself & have met a wonderful girl but who knows what the future may bring. Its certainly not something I'm counting on. Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 In my case, I used NC to distance myself from my own emotions and dissect everything going through my mind and heart. After I achieved it, I decided to break NC to have closure, no matter the consequences. I will move on, with or without her. I know she loves and misses me, but I have yet to see what she wants for us... We are supposed to talk this weekend. I hope it helps, if you want to try to do the same Link to comment
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