To break up or not to break up?

[Eadgbe]

Hello, just looking for some advice as to whether or not I should call things off with my girlfriend. We've been together about 9 months, originally we met overseas then she moved to my home town before we had really had the chance to get to know each other well. She is a nice girl, and shes fun, but I cant help feeling that we have differences. I have an academic career, she works in hospitality, we have very different tastes in music, I like to play sport and she doesn't, actually I cannot think of very many things we have in common. Apart from that she can act quite immature at times. So far I have just gone along with it. I know that she really likes me, but I dont really feel like I can see myself being with her forever. It seems awful to call things off because I can see how upset she would be, and I care about her. And for the most part I really do like spending time with her, and I'd feel lonely without her.

 

What I would like to know is, how do you know when its right to break up with someone? At what point can you tell that the cracks in the relationship are too big for you to stay together?

[Tricia23]

Hi Eadgbe,

 

I understand your feelings. My boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue a few days ago, after 4 years together. He and I had a great relationship, and when we first started out, we had alot of differences. He was more the clubbing, expensive clothes wearing person, and I was just laid back. I didn't like his music, and some other things. I think before you break it off, you should talk to her about what your feeling. Then you can decide if you want to be with her or not.

 

Try to come to a compromise if you or she wants too. Don't let her go just because of those things you two can fix together. I'm absolutely devestated, and hurt to be going through what I am, and I'm sure she would be upset about it as well. Things can be given chances if you want to take them.

 

Good Luck to you, and many blessings....

[kadvati79]

One question answers this:

 

Do you love her?

[eleanorrigby1]

I think there comes a point in everyones life, (rachel in Friends says it in the episode where she turns 30) when we feel that we can't keep messing about and having fun, if we want to settle down and have babies!...

 

I know that in the past i would overlook differences because the guy was fun, or good looking or i enjoyed my saturday nights with him. Then as i got older I started to want more out of the relationship and was more impatient with differences when dating a guy.

 

You need to think about what you are looking for, If she really isnt the one you envisage 'being with' then talk to her, be honest dont lie and say "I need space.." and then replace her in a day! just be honest with her and be true to yourself.

 

I know it will hurt her, but you cant protect her from that and you have to be true to yourself. we all have our hearts broken and get hurt, but imagine if the other person had of stayed with us, not wanting us, just to spare us the heartbreak?