Instant Messaging signals

[real2]

Instant messaging in relation to MSN.

 

I have personally been on the opposite side of the situation, but Im curious if people would agree that the longer someone takes to respond to an IM, usually the less interest they have in you.

 

Also the number of words in their sentences in response to your questions shows a great level of attention placed into you.

 

Even starting conversations usually details the level of interest; which party starts them the most often.

 

Disregarding any possible bias in my post, do people agree? or disagree?

[musicguy]

they might be like me and have dial up, so it might be slower to respond back

[laboheme]

Well, the basic rules of conversation apply to IM as well. In real life if a person isn't interested in you, he or she will tend to give short replies, not initiate conversation, and maybe act a little distracted (the equivalent of slow responses on IM). So I think that your observations are accurate for the most part.

[langford]

yes I think it mirrors real life mostly,the IM iniatior is usually keener than the other person but not always - girls usually want the guy to IM them first.And the time it takes that person to send an IM once you've connected says alot about what they think of you.

 

Short one word answers are obviously pretty clear signs of disinterest,i don't know about slow responses though - the person could be thinking about what to say,writing a detailed reply or have dial up.

[Aurian]

I look at more what the other person is saying. Taking awhile to reply (unless its REALLY nutty long) shouldn't be used as a gauge of interest because some people take longer to read or type. I'm nutty fast, but that's just the way I am wired. Other people read and type slower. No biggie unless I feel like there are tumbleweeds running by.

 

Instead, look at how they reply. If they have something good to say, then they're likely interested. If its short, abrupt responses, then that is more telling than how long it takes for them to say "yeah."

[cpc28655]

There could be any number of reasons as to why the replies are slow and short. They could be busy with any number of things. (taking care of a child, their phone may have rung, you get the idea). The answers listed by the others in this thread are most likely the case, but not always. Most people will tell you if they are busy, and to give them a moment.

 

I've went to the bathroom, or to get a cherry coke (mmm, I love cherry coke) from the kitchen before, and when I get back to the screen, I see an IM box with "hey. how are you?" ; "you there" ; "to hell with you!" or something to that effect.

[Aurian]

Yeah, some people forget that the person on the other end can't see if you're distracted or go to the washroom. Its SO important to say "brb" or something to let the other know. Heck, even just saying "I'd love to talk, but I am a bit distracted because of X right now" is great because without those cues you're left feeling a bit neglected.

[chaos]

This brings up an interesting question... What if they are responsive, sometimes giving quite long answers, occasionally send the first message but, they rarely ask any questions in return?

[Aurian]

That's a toughie... I assume they're either shy or not interested in me (ie - like to talk about themselves).