unwell..

[neilleonor]

hi im new here..i had a brain hemmorhage almost 3yrs now..things for me are now totally different..but im hanging in there.i didnt think of myself would be so bothered of things..just recently,my wife and i have been argueing abt her co-worker and i know its just a waste of time and energy to keep bringing up to her about this guy..she told me that she let him know that she's married & have a 7yr old son & not interested.all they can be is become friends.my wife is a vry friendly person & beautiful.i mean, i dont have a problem w/ guys wants to become friends w/ my wife but i dont want to go far from being friends to go more than friends.i trust my wife but whenever i knw that this guy is around her its bugging me..and he borrows DVD from her.i mean,i dont know my wife woke up and she remembered about DVD to bring them to their work place.im not actually like this very uncomftble and we always argue abt this guy...i know what im supposed to do but i dont know how to start not thinking about them sending txt msgs and phone calls i strat to become crazy.. i hate people who try to ruin a relationships HELP!](*,)

[RayKay]

Hey, and welcome to enotalone.

 

You felt it important to mention your health problems, is this because there are still effects you worry are having an impact on your relationship?

 

Anyway, I am sorry you went through that, you are very lucky. I had a boyfriend whom died just before his 26th birthday of a brain hemorrhage and it is very scary to go through.

 

Well, I can't tell you what is going on, but it sounds like your wife has made it clear she is not interested in him at least verbally, and if she is seemingly doing so in actions too, then I think you have to be careful about being jealous and causing fights over it, as that tends to push people away.

 

If they send lots of messages though, that is above and beyond just coworkers, and I wonder if she is at least enjoying the attention even if she is not cheating, she is at least encouraging him to try.

 

How is your relationship as a whole, your communication skills, intimacy?

[Juliana]

Brain injury changes alot of things, certainly, and coping with emotions is a big one. Would this have bothered you prior to the injury?

 

I notice you said that you "hate people who try to ruin relationships." Do you think that's what he's trying to do? You also said that you are thinking about them text messaging and speaking on the phone; are they? If they are, is your wife trying to hide this from you at all?