Told I need professional help!

[Parsley]

hello

Gah, I seem to be posting here everyday! I guess I just feel a bit more comfortable talking to the faceless internet to people who just know the facts without taking my whole life into account. Anyway...

 

Right so quick backstory - my ex broke up with me about 2 weeks ago, saying he didn't feel the same anymore. It hurt a lot because for 2 months I'd been literally going crazy, thinking something was wrong, but making myself believe it was my reaction to starting the pill and just in general being girly and overthinking things. He knew how I was feeling and that I was panicking thinking I couldn't trust my own mind anymore - and I found out when he broke up with me that he had been ignoring me and being weird the whole time, my reaction was justified, but he let me carry on beating myself up.

 

So as a result I'm starting to worry about trusting anyone new. I obviously don't want to be with anyone so soon, and probably not for a long time.

 

A couple of days ago someone who was a couple of years above me at school started talking to me, and yesterday asked me out for a drink. I said I wasn't really up to anything, and he persisted and said he'd like to take me out sometime. I told him that I had literally just got out of a relationship and was hurting a lot, and didn't want to get into anything for awhile. He didn't really like that, and kinda went off on one. I said that I was just going with my instincts because I'd ignored them for so long, and I just didn't want to persue anything with him - serious or otherwise. He told me I needed professional help if I thought going out for a drink could lead to something.

 

I know that this guy was probably just an idiot - I found out from a friend who was in his year that he is just a fool and acts like that a lot of the time. But the thing is now I'm just kinda worried that someone will genuinely just be being nice and wanting to get to know me and I'll push them away because I'm scared. Let's say I carry on with my pledge to trust my instincts, but they're out of whack and into overdrive because of what happened with my ex?!

[leewils]

Hope this helps,

 

Give yourself plenty of time and stay away from guys till ur ready and dont rush it. That guy was a wank!!

 

I feel the same i thought there was a problem but she made me think it was in my head but the she hits out with "i dont think am i love with you" so i did no there was sumthin wrong and she was bein dif with me. I dont want to trust anyone just now but no it will pass in time.

 

You are still young ive been through a few break ups and felt the same as you but it isnt so dark for long. You do push through it and lookin at other people's comments does help. More to the point you will be able to trust again it takes time and time is a great healer. I swear!!

 

Ul be fine and if u need jst remember u can chat to loads of people on this xx

[Honey_30]

that guy was just pissed off cause you knocked him back.

 

its early days so your bound to be mistrusting of men..i think its always difficult to move onto another relationship especially when you really loved the guy..but give yourself time.. the feelings for the guy have to be gone or at least pretty much gone before you even begin to think about dating anyone else.

 

you just have to remember that not every guy is the same..when the time comes for you to start dating.. dont make the mistake of judging a new guy by your old guys mistakes.

[timlondon]

I guess it's pretty soon after your breakup to be going on dates... beware the rebound!

 

The guy who asked you out was just annoyed at being turned down... but it would probably be better not to explain why you don't want to go for a drink next time you're asked. If you're asked to go on a specific time just say you're busy, if it's a "would you like to go for a drink some time?" then just a cryptic "maybe" will do, and keeps your options open too... haha

[Parsley]

Thanks for your help

 

I'm definitely not going to go out with anyone for awhile. I'm all too aware that it would be a terrible terrible move, no matter how much I'm longing for that kind of closeness. It's just a response to the rejection, right?

 

I didn't have much option but to explain to this guy. At first he asked if I had a boyfriend, and I'd said no, but had very recently broken up with someone - hoping that when he saw that he'd back off instinctively...I mean...that's what I would do! Before he got a chance to say anything (it was on msn) my laptop died. The next day he said he was sorry for making me feel awkward, and the drink thing came up then - as an apology. At first I tried again not to make it difficult, and said, well you're at uni...but he persisted and I guess I just felt so crap I couldn't help making it clear.