What to do???

[thescrubby1]

I'll try and make a long story short and hope for some advice. My other post explains the who's what's and why's of the divorce, but this is something new for me.

 

The ex and I have talked off and on since the divorce. She started seeing someone months ago. I was the one who asked for the divorce and I am the one asking for us to get back together. Every time in the past that I'd bring up getting back together she'd get really mad and not want to talk at all about it. Two nights ago she called me and we just talked about a little of everything. We even talked about why I wanted to get back together and she didnt' flip out. Like I said, in the past, just mentioning how I felt about her and how I wanted to reunite, she'd basically say no and not want to talk no more. But she called me and was asking questions I haven't heard since we were dating, "why do you love me so much", and such. She even mentioned that her and her new boyfriend fight alot and she broke up with him over new years.

 

Now to me this is a sign of new life. I was so excited when I got off the phone with her that night. We hadn't had a conversation like that in many months. Here is the problem. I don't want to get my hopes up to much, but at the same time I feel like my luck may be changing. I decided not to call her and wait for her to call me. The thing is, I'm afraid if I don't call her she might think I don't care. I've always wanted to get back together, and now it seems that she may be ready to also. Should I call her and just talk or wait for her to call me? And if it matters, she lives in Hawaii and I in Utah, so I won't be bumping in to her accidently. I'm so confused right now, and any advice is welcome.

[LittleLion24]

Let her call you back. You've made it clear to her that you want to get back together and she knows this. So whatever you do, don't drill that home to her anymore because then you might come off as desperate and that may null and void any feelings/thoughts she has about reconciling.

 

Patience is very, very, very, important. 1) It shows to the other person that you are SERIOUS about what you said 2) It shows that you are standing by what you said too because this is how you feel.

 

Of course you're confused but remain patient.

[Aschleigh]

realize for her it's a big risk. You left her, it hurt her a lot I assume. Now you want to get back together. Why should she make it easy for you. She had to do the work of moving on becuase you left her. And now you change your mind so she has to risk being hurt again.

Only procede if you are sure she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Othewise you are just playing with her emotions.

I would put you through the ringer too. Just to see if you were serious.