TijuanaJones Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Hi Shaker! I like your goal... I know its going to be hard to keep NC during Valentine's... I will do the same also, even though her bday is the day before Valentine's day... but I know I have to do it, its for the best... Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Day 5 NC Last night I went to my house after work, got dressed in athletic clothes, and joined the gym... yeah! I needed to release endorphines haha. I saw some friends there, I felt really good getting those muscles in action again... Tonight I'll fly out of town for the weekend, and its going to be good, I hope I clear my head, because, to tell you the truth, im getting sick of talking about my ex... I just wish I could block her from my mind and bury her in the past. But only time can do that... Right now is clear to me that it is important that I take care of myself and that I do things for myself. I shouldn't care about what she thinks or does, but slowly Im starting to accept that and think more about me... Last night I told a friend of mine that we should start looking after our needs first, that our mistake was (he is in the same boat I am) putting our couple's needs first. I learned about it the hard way, and came out looking needy... I hope I never make that mistake again. Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Hey Tijuana - ooh look at you being all proactive and all that jazz! Hope you enjoy your weekend away! I feel the same about being sick of talking about the ex, except more about him being on my mind. It's like "Yeah ok...you've stayed on in there no matter how many times I try to kick you out, will you at *least* go for a day trip or something?!" I tried the writing thing today. I had intended to write a letter, but it turned out as more of a diary entry. I was amazed at how little I wrote! Usually when I do that kind of therapy, I find myself writing furiously for hours on end, but this time I wrote for about 20 minutes, and only covered two sides of A5 paper! I did have a realisation whilst writing it though, you know when you write it and then think "actually...that's right!" It was that the only reason I want him back is because he was someone that wanted me. My previous ex was lovely, seriously a really great person, and I'm so glad we're friends now. But he rarely made me feel *wanted* or beautiful like this ex did. This one was always telling me stuff like that and it was a huge ego boost, that I needed to have after the previous 2 and a half years of feeling adequate. So of course I'm going to want that feeling back! I've just got to find something else to replace that I guess? I definitely don't want to be going back to the ex to get that. How on earth are all of the rest of you?! x Link to comment
krnelson2 Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Hey everyone!!! It sounds like people are doing well today...Thats great. Isnt it funny how our emotions change day by day and there is definitely a trend with all of us. SOme days we are all feeling bad some good. Today I feel great....AGAIN! I talked on the phone with my sister a few hours ago and we talked about how I was doing. I told her that its over and that I am moving on. A month ago that would have killed me to say, but guess what...It didnt affect me at all to say it, and most of all I meant it when I told her I was happy now!!! It feels so good to truly be happy and be living my life to the fullest. Tijuana- Good work joining the gym. Excersizing helps so much!!! It will make you feel like a more attractive and wantable person as well as improving your health. Now Stick with it and dont drop out in a week like I always do Parsley- It sounds like your journal entry has made you realize a lot. Keep it up, its easier to do that then contact our ex and then feel like crap when they dont respond right? Hang in there everyone, we are all doing great, now lets work towards day 30 and then who knows from there. Peace -KR Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Knerlson - I'm glad you're having an up day! Do you notice that you realise things from reading other people's posts? When I read this... I talked on the phone with my sister a few hours ago and we talked about how I was doing. I told her that its over and that I am moving on. A month ago that would have killed me to say, but guess what...It didnt affect me at all to say it, and most of all I meant it when I told her I was happy now!!! It feels so good to truly be happy and be living my life to the fullest. I thought about whether I'd be able to do that and imagined saying it to someone, my exact thought processes was... "Well, it's over and it's s***....no wait a minute...it's not. It's just annoying that I have to go through this now. It's not crap anymore, it's just something that happened..." Then I kind of sat there for awhile a bit shocked. But it's ALL good!! *AND* I realised I'm on Day 27! I've said it before, and I'll say it again...I can't wait to talk to you guys again this time next year, and see how great we're all doing! Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Hi Parsley! Im glad writing made you realize your true feelings... Im 100% convinced right now that NC is for me. I read in another thread that when a breakup happens, the dumper feels empowered, and the dumpee loses power... so guess what happens with NC? there is a balance of power between the two persons involved. Right now I have made clear to my ex that she can take me back when she feels like it, and I feel that I am at her mercy... but no more, I have to recover and feel the power to forge my own destiny, with or without her. When she notices she no longer has a say in my life, she will start to truly realize if she feels deep for me. I dont know if someday she will want me back or not, all Im saying is that I am doing NC to get my old self back, or even an improved self! I love her and I wish her well, but she has to live her own life and make her own decisions. Parsley: Are you starting to think less and less during the day about your ex? I feel a presense, but I have managed not to think in details or specific situations... Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Hey everyone!!! It sounds like people are doing well today...Thats great. Isnt it funny how our emotions change day by day and there is definitely a trend with all of us. SOme days we are all feeling bad some good. Today I feel great....AGAIN! I talked on the phone with my sister a few hours ago and we talked about how I was doing. I told her that its over and that I am moving on. Hi KR! Im glad you are talking to friends and family, and that you found joy again. Its not so bad to let go, is it? there is hope of something better out there... How many times have we met someone and said: "She is so perfect for me, she is the One"? only to find out some time later that they are not what we expected... Same happens with exes. When they dump you, you have a hard time believing you will find someone better, or nicer. But after a while you start looking out into the world and seeing that there are girls out there that could be sooo good to you... But for now I think its healthy to work on ourselves and tend to our own needs... Dont worry, I wont quit that easy hehe. Last time I got into the gym I kept going for 10 months, until I met my ex and started going to her house instead haha. Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Tijuana, that's great! I'm glad that you're feeling so strong. I guess that's right. One of my friends has this theory...your friends and family and all those that mean a lot to you...when you're with them, you're topped with fuel from them. Then when you're away from them...the fuel runs down, sometimes you can go back and get a little, but the times when you're away for a long time you're running on empty and *have* to see them, otherwise you'd just stop. When my ex broke up with me...it felt like he'd just blown a hole right through the tank holding his fuel and I just wound down completely for awhile. But now...it's like that tank's been taken away and now I can compensate for the loss, so I don't need that fuel anymore.... Make sense? And yes, I am thinking of him less. I know what you mean about the presense. You know that they're there...but it doesn't intrude as much as it used to. I noticed that other day that I tried to think about him, and it was actually kind of difficult. That made me smile Link to comment
christalix Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 l learnt that my ex is pregnant, but will not let me know. She will also not like to talk to me. Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 l learnt that my ex is pregnant, but will not let me know. She will also not like to talk to me. I cant even possibly imagine how you feel right now... I think its for the best if you keep your distance and give her space right now. I dont think its good to talk to her while she is in a highly emotional state... let her figure out everything and dont think bad things... my heart is with you. Blessings! ((hug)) Link to comment
christalix Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 yes, from me...l will live her space Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 day20!woohoo! starting off real good, final a day to relax from yesterdays busy day. feeling great and i can't wait for school to start! hope everyone is doing great! Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 day20!woohoo! starting off real good, final a day to relax from yesterdays busy day. feeling great and i can't wait for school to start! hope everyone is doing great! Hey Rsx! Nice to know you are going to SDSU... did I tell you that I went there? expect great parties, beautiful girls (lots of them a little stuck up, but you'll do fine) and nice weather! My day is great too, Im looking forward to going to the gym again (I joined yesterday) altough Im sore hehe... Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 HI everyone, Im glas to see everyone going strong! I have a question. should I change my home phone number..he keeps calling me. I dont answer. It is hard to do NC when I still care but know I cant do this anymore. part of me wants to answer to see what he wants, I think thats what he is trying to get me too do. same as last time, he leaves a message once in awhile but mostly not....Its kind of hard to get him out of my mind when he keeps calling. My health is not good right now and his calls are stressing me out and not helping matters at all..I just want to tell him AGAIN to stop calling. How long before he gets the hint? Link to comment
Parsley Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I would change your home number. I know it would be a lot of hassle etc., but if it will give you some peace, I would go for it. Do you have caller i.d. on your home phone? If not, also something you might want to get. With our home phone you have caller i.d. and you can have different rings for different people. If you had something similar you would know instantly if it was him, and it would be easy to cancel the call. Or possibly have his number blocked? Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Yes, I have caller i.d. It would be a huge hassle.... I need to do something...I will call the phone company tomarrow and see what my options are. I really dont want to change it as I have kids, they will need to learn the new # and there are sooo many people that would have to be notified. thanks for responding..... Link to comment
christalix Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 HI everyone, Im glas to see everyone going strong! I have a question. should I change my home phone number..he keeps calling me. I dont answer. It is hard to do NC when I still care but know I cant do this anymore. part of me wants to answer to see what he wants, I think thats what he is trying to get me too do. same as last time, he leaves a message once in awhile but mostly not....Its kind of hard to get him out of my mind when he keeps calling. My health is not good right now and his calls are stressing me out and not helping matters at all..I just want to tell him AGAIN to stop calling. How long before he gets the hint? Much crazy stuffs here whiles others are planning to get in contact with their ex, crying and feeling depressed, others are asking how to make them stop calling them Well, l will say, tell him some bad things and he will stop calling you, my ex did the same to me. She told me how stupid l was and how she never loved me. " well was not the truth, but she said them for me to stop calling her" . Well the world is great to live in Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I wouldnt change it either... Just try to have a little patience, he is acting out of desperation... he should quit after a while... Link to comment
LetThemEatCake Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Good for all of you guys.. I know this is a hard thing to do. Keep it up! Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I wouldnt change it either... Just try to have a little patience, he is acting out of desperation... he should quit after a while... I sure as **** hope so. it has been going on for quite some time now. I did spend some time with him about a week 1/2 ago.. I told him then that I cant do this anymore and that i want to date other people. Its just been a rollercoaster. he wants what he cant have, because when I wanted to work things out, he didnt want the same things I did and now Im done with it all and here he is......... Link to comment
TijuanaJones Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Have you considered picking up the phone when he calls and then say to him: "I forbid you to call here again" and then hang up? Just a thought... Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I cant tell him mean things..as mucha s I want too..Its jsut not me. besides, he is well into his 40's. I think he is being disrespectful. we had an argument months back and he said that he needed time to think about things and I didnt call him. I gave him space. I told him that when he was ready to talk to give me a call. he did and we worked on things. but the bottom line is that he wants to be with me but on his terms.... Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Have you considered picking up the phone when he calls and then say to him: "I forbid you to call here again" and then hang up? Just a thought... Yes, it doesnt work....when we were together he hardly ever called...now he is all the time. I just might do that the next time he calls......AGAIN. Link to comment
luvmykids Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 thanks for the support guys...hope you all have a good night. Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Hey Rsx! Nice to know you are going to SDSU... did I tell you that I went there? expect great parties, beautiful girls (lots of them a little stuck up, but you'll do fine) and nice weather! My day is great too, Im looking forward to going to the gym again (I joined yesterday) altough Im sore hehe... thats awesome! great to here info from an allumni. lol can't wait to go to the gym tomorrow and put some serious damage to my body.hahah! Link to comment
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