making things right

[rawr58]

I am trying so hard to make things right with my best friend.

 

Something happened between me and her. She said she didn't want to speak about it ever again, I was hurt when she said this at the time but I wanted to respect that, which sounds stupid. But I did not want to talk to her about something she did not want to talk about because in a way I felt that I wouldn't be getting honest answers. Then I started to feel like i cut my own feelings short, for i did have a lot of questions and confusion, and mostly I felt really hurt by what had occurred and how she was acting.

 

Since I was so upset I began talking to some friends. I started to feel depressed. I finally decided to ignore the fact that she didn't want to talk about anything and bring that up with her, because the bottom line is that what happened is definitly something that needed to be talked about and explained.

 

She is so angry with me because she found out I talked to some friends. That is understandle I guess, so now I feel incredibly stupid, and feel like i did something wrong. I apologized for having talked to them and I explained why I did so. She told me she wished I had went to talked to her first. I explained that she made doing so really difficult since she flat out said she didn't want to ever talk about it.

 

I asked her if she wants to hang out to talk and work things out, she said she did, and i started to plan a day. She has agreed to two times, and has all the sudden not been in the mood, or she had something all the sudden come up, and I am pretty sure she lied, and is just avoiding talking about it.

 

It sucks because we went from hanging out everyday, talking everday, sharing all this personal crap with each other, to not even speaking.

 

I am so unbelievably hurt, feeling stupid, angry, scared, empty. How could a friend be like this? Avoiding talking, acting like she wants nothing to do with me at all ever. I don't think I screwed up that horribly, if anything I think I should be the one staying away from her. I think she knows she did wrong and doesn't have the guts to step up and admit it, thats what upsets me the most, she is lying to me and avoiding me, and hurting me more then she did before. It would be so easy to fix everything!

 

I really need to let her know how i feel, for my own sake, just so i can get passed it and know I tried. Even if she doesn't answer my questions or feeds me some lie, i want her to know even if she refuses to understand it, and I really wish I could be able to do so face to face. I think I will end up having to write a letter, I hate that.

 

Mostly I am going crazy, and feeling overwhelmed with almost everything in life, I can't seem to keep from screwing up all the time. :sad:

[Scootchy]

Hey rawr58

 

This friend of yours is acting very childish according to the information that you have provided. Your friend has to just cool down for a bit, and needs to be reminded about who and what it is that she is throwing away here. It sounded like you guys were really close, she just needs to be reminded of that.

 

I think you have to take charge in this situation. Cut into her day when she has a free moment. Don't arrange a meeting, just pick her out of whatever it is she is doing. Put her down on a spot and talk her ears off. Tell her about the things you are feeling like you told us here. Tell her you are really trying here and that you apologized and want to really be friends like you used to be.

 

If she refuses after a substantial amount of effort on your side, then I think you deserve a better best friend. Someone who forgives.

[jjjmuskateers]

It sounds like I am in the same situationas you are but maybe not as harsh. Your friend doesnt sound like such a great friend if she is Lying, manipulating and taking control of your life. I know it is so hard to lose that friend who you have trusted through everything. I am not sure what it is you guys went throough to cause her to be so distant...is it possible you can re-evaluate the situation to see if you did something to hurt her which could be why she is treating you this way. Cause if she is hurt by something you did all she needs is a big hug and for you to admit that you screwed up...and for you to face your fears and head straight over to her place and start talking...it might be hard but even if you write her, you might be hurting yourself as she may never reply and if she does it will not feel the same as talking to her face to face and giving her that big hug you are wanting to give her. Besides once she sees with her eyes how much effort you are putting in to save your friendship I am sure she will appologize for being so rude too you!

[ar106]

I am going through the same situation you are in. I too was very close to my best friend and talked about everything and like you we'd see or talk to each other everyday.

One day, out of the blue, she just stops talking to me without any explination.

I really don't know what I did wrong because she never had the decency of telling me.

I too feel hurt, angry, sad and believe it or not, I miss her and hope that after 6 months she will call me, which I doubt.

I hope that things work out for you.

AR