what do I do with this stuff?

[pacopaco]

My ex and I broke up in February of 2006. I stayed in the apartment, but I want to leave. I am moving out, and I'm leaving the memories where they happened. I have a lot of photos, and letters, though, that I don't know what to do with. they're stored right now in the dark part of the closet. I don't look at them, or think about them now. I just don't know what to do with that stuff. suggestions?

[wayner427]

If you don't look at them or think about them, I would go ahead and just keep them. It might be something you'd want to look back in the future when you're totally over her.

[BornToResist]

I've made a box of memories of a couple significant relationships I've had. I basically put everything in there that I'm not ready to let go of yet...pictures, concert stubs, etc...then I pack it away.

 

I don't usually look at it but something about just knowing I could has been therapuetic. Over the years I get rid of what I don't want when I'm ready.

 

These people were significant parts of my life and while I don't want to dwell on them forever, I also don't want to erase any memories either.

[onelittleladybug]

I'm really conflicted about this one too and have been wondering what to do.

 

On one hand I feel like I should throw it all away as a symbolic gesture of a fresh start and a clean slate...

 

On the other - I threw out a pretty big box of letters from one ex. Then when he took his own life a couple years later I deeply regretted it and still do 10 years later.

 

When I look back at that, it makes me think I should resist the temptation. My ex will after all always be a part of me as he is a part of my past.

[Northalius]

I'd keep them until you're 100% over the person. As long as you have them, then don't look into being in another relationship with another person, since these past emotions of your ex will just clash with the new person. As long as you hold on to their stuff, it'll serve as a reminder not to seek a relationship with another person just yet.

 

When you're over your ex for good, then throw them away.

 

That's how I look at it, anyway.

[coollady1957]

I guess every person is going to have a different thought on what to do with those kinds of things. Personally, I immediately got rid of everything, photos, letters, cards, when the EX and I parted ways. Our parting was a bad one, so I didn't have a problem burning everything. It was therapeutic for me to rid myself of everything involving him. Thats just my 2 cents worth of thought.

[Northalius]

I guess every person is going to have a different thought on what to do with those kinds of things. Personally, I immediately got rid of everything, photos, letters, cards, when the EX and I parted ways. Our parting was a bad one, so I didn't have a problem burning everything. It was therapeutic for me to rid myself of everything involving him. Thats just my 2 cents worth of thought.

 

Oh yeah, it depends on the person, whether they're over their ex or not. As long as you're 100% over him, then so be it. That's good.

 

But, I just think if someone is not over their ex, then they should keep the stuff as a reminder to not seek another relationship until they get rid of their stuff.

 

Just a friendly reminder, is all. Since I hear so much about people getting into new relationships while still holding on to old emotions for their ex; then things go bad in the new relationship because of this.

[ReadyorNot]

I GUARANTEE if you throw them out, once you are over the relationship and have moved on you will regret throwing it all out.. just pack it up in a box of some sort and put it away deep into a closet, or in storage...

 

I got rid of all of my first loves stuff and I think it would be nice to have it now..

[mike_chppr]

Well, I can see why you are hesitant to get rid of the stuff. Here is what I say, this person has been a part of your life. Keep one photo of the two of you happy. Scan everything else onto a disk and put it with your computer stuff. then throw everything away except that one photo. Later on down the road if you want to reflect you have it on CD or an external hard drive.

 

I'm going through a similar thing right now. I have all the cards and clever things I did for my STBX when we were dating and married. At first I thought I should keep these so that I can reuse them to think of clever things to say when I meet someone else. But then I realized that I'm not damaged goods and when the time comes I will think of something clever especially tailored for that person.

 

So all the cards and saved stuff. I'm throwing away. All the bills and taxes and other paperwork from our relationship, I'm scanning and giving her an external hard drive with all the information on it. I want to start over, and that includes getting rid of the clutter. All the papers in my file cabnit are clutter, that I have to tackle and trow it away. I want to move on, and tackling a two drawer plus file system with a scanner and a shredder just might be the distractive ticket.

 

How to move on. I'm not sure... I know I feel very impulsive to seek new possible non-platonic relationships. I have a three month timeline in my head, but It isn't realistic, not that I can't do it, it is more that I need to be comfortable with me first. Throwing away the past is important, but it also important to be able to reflect and know where you came from.

 

Best of luck

 

mike_chppr

[need2bme]

Paco, as I posted in your other thread; I just went through the garage with my ex and inside one of the boxes was a bunch of stuff she had given me, that I used to put up at my old office.

 

We looked at them a little. After we were finished and upstairs in the apartment; I couldn't hold it together anymore. I just lost it.

 

Be prepared to cry some when you do decide to go through the stuff. Good luck.