Stupid? Or Not?

[Landonn]

Ok, so my g/f has had a friend like all of her life and her and him like to hang out alot, but in the last 8 months since we've been going out she hasn't much. Anyways, my g/f also loves to text message constantly to other people while we're hanging out, and 24/7 which is a huge pet peeve of mine.

 

Lots of the time when we're hanging out she is texting this friend of hers and he constantly texts her. I don't really care that she's texting him for the most part, it gets me a bit jealous, but he's been around all of her life and i dont want to get in the middle of that, but it just bugs the heck out of me that she has to sit there on her cell phone all of the time, and have an hour long texting convo while we're watching a movie or something.

Whenever I ask her about it, or ask her nicely to stop she takes it personally and says that we spend most of our time etogethr, and that she has other friends that she ditches to hang out with me, so she is allowed to text them. And it really seems like i'm hitting a nerve when I ask her to stop.

 

I know this sounds dumb, and I know maybe I just have to stop "sweating the small stuff" but is there a way that I can ask her to cut back on it or something without having to just brush it off totally? Cause it really gets on my nerves lol.

 

Thanks.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey Landonn - I gotta admit - I text all the time too and it drives my husband insane too. I guess I feel it is innocent enough - and it is - but the truth is, it's not very respectful of me. I should, and so should your gf, respect his/your feelings a bit more.

 

I don't know how you could make that clear to her, but maybe just ask her in a non-confrontational way, like, "I know you're not doing anything wrong, I'd just like to have your FULL attention for a while. Maybe you could just respect my feelings and not text whilst we're together?"

 

Ya know, try to approach it as if it you are simlpy asking her to regard your feelings.

[Bethany]

That would really piss me off. If that was me I'd suggest that she turned it off when with you and spending less time together so she can text them as much as she wants when your not around. If she doesn't want to, spend less time with her anyway, it must be driving you mad.

[sddeaston]

I HATE it when a SO spends ALL their time text messaging. That is so lame.

 

If you wanna be hanging out with that other person, then go, but don't stay here and make me feel like I bring you down, or keep you away from what you REALLY want.

 

I would just stop hanging with her, or text one of my friends EVERY time she is asking for your attention....see how she likes it.

[NyGentleman]

Ive been hear and depends on how much you trust her is what i say...could be harmless or could be a way to make you jelous....

 

Here are to examples that may help...

1.Known a friend for most of my life, he was dating this girl for 8yrs, now broken up with her they still hang out as friends but she has moved on, he hasnt, one day hanging out with them both i find her texting alot of people in the backseat of my friends car, annoying yes, texts to guys yes, felt bad for my friend yes, cause she was never like that in the 8yrs they were together..seems like she wanted the attention, and to make her ex (my friend) jelous that she has a new life..

 

2.Started talking to this new girl, actually a really good friend of mine for 2yrs we finally got things together with our feelings, but after a messy ex situation for the both of us...so of course when we hang out i expected ex's to be calling texting etc...but to my surprise when we hang out, she claims i dont need to be near my phone when im with you, so she never looks at it once...ive never had that before in a relationship but its a good feeling cause i know what its like to have a girl not be there mentally with you but be mentally into her phone....

 

Hang in there chief....

[Northalius]

No, it's not dumb. And don't ever think "it's small stuff" if it's truly annoying you. You must come out and tell her everything you're feeling. Communication is key.

 

Going by this, I wouldn't like her already. If she really likes you, then she'd respect you enough to give you her full attention when you're with her in person. Her making the excuse of her ditching her friends [which isn't good in the first place] to spend more time with you is not good enough. If she wants to spend time with her friends, then let her do that; let them have their time together. But if she's with you, constant texting is out of the question, at least in a healthy relationship.

 

I might be wrong thinking this, but if my girlfriend has 'guy-friends', it makes me think twice about how long our relationship will last in the long run. Unless the guy is gay... lol! Usually, there's naturally going to be some physical attraction in there somewhere between the two, so I'd watch out for this.

 

Again, I could be totally wrong though, since I'm sure it's possible to be true friends without any other emotions between a guy and a girl, but I still think it's more times than not, that this is not the case.