Feel ill -my ex called me this morning - should i call back?

[geri]

Hi guys

 

Will someone out there please give me some advice re this. We broke up over amonth ago and i chose not to respond to previous mails/messages from three weeks ago as i was really hurt and afraid to respond.

 

I am going away on hols tomorrow for some more breathing space but then out of the blue i get message on my phone at 10 am this morning saying Hi, ringing to see how you are, hope you're well, iemm you're not there maybe'll call you again later....

 

Q i have now is - do i call back or send a text message saying thanks or something to acknowledge his message or do i just leave it? Want to keep the door open but don't want to get hurt if its just a friendly call but as i'm going away for two weeks he won't know why i'm not responding other than to assume i have no time for him?????

 

Ahhhhhh - any quick easy advice before i head off?

[bryan]

I think you should text him and say you got his message and see what he wanted. Then tell him you have to go because you have to pack for your trip. He'll probably ask where you are going so just tell him you are getting away for 2 weeks. This will put him in suspense for those two weeks wondering if you are going with another guy. He will probably call you continuously during your trip to see what you are doing. If you want him back or want him to chase you, this would probably be a good way to do it.

 

If you just dont care about him then tell him you are going on a vacation with a guy you have been seeing

[Inkognito]

call him... ask him how he is doing... tell him you're going on holiday for whatever time it is (2wks?)... and send

him a postcard from where you are going. When you get back call him again just to stay in touch...

Don't exclude him: you two might need each other sometime or another!!

 

Anyway, do what you feel like doing...

 

gdluck

 

Inkognito

[geri]

Thanks Guys

 

I'm really afraid because i was with him for a long time and we broke up because he needed to be on his own so i wanted to give him time and me time to get our heads together.

 

I'm terrified of ringing and being told 'I've met someone else etc' or something hurtful - if he doesn't want me as a girlfriend i don't think i could cope with being his friend - i'm not a big enough person for that

 

I don't want to play games or be dishonest - i want to be happy with my decision and i want him to be happy with his. I just want to be sure that i'm not being played with here and find the safest route.....

 

But yes i think you're right - theres enough hurt in the world without intentionally causing more and there may come a time when we need each other. Darn it i feel like crap again - perhaps i should leave to see if he'll call again?

[DealingWithIt]

I say go on with your vacation and have fun. Your ex will definitely call you up again. Hopefully by that time, you will know how you feel about you two talking again. Don't feel pressured to call him back.

[kutekat100]

H geri,

thanks for replying to my post, it seems like we're in similar situations. I would call him. Honesty is the best policy and you are going away and I think you'll regret it if you don't call him. it wont seem pushy coz he called you first. My ex called yesterday and I called him back. As you know from my post, you know what he said. doubt he has found someone else and if he has and he's calling to tell you then he really isn't worth it so soon after the split. I bet he just isses you. it does seem the more space you give to men the more they call you. Good luck. mail me if you want to.

[Genesis]

I think you should call him. I do not know of any kind of A$$ hole who would tell their ex that they found someone else, if they did not ask in the first place. If he does say, thats nice and change the topic quickly or say got to run it was nice talking you! Make the phone call short 10-15 min. tell him you are glade that he called to see how you where doing. Tell him you can not talk long, WHAT EVER YOU DO , DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP!!

 

If he wants to get back together he will have a habit of calling more often. I f he wants to be just friends at least you did not spend hours on the phone pouring your heart out!

 

MAke it short and sweet so you will not think about him all during the vacation, but I bet you will think about him anyway!!

 

Good Luck !!

[reborn]

I assume you have gone away on your trip already. Hope whatever decision you made you feel really good about it, and you let us know what happened.

This ex boyfriend contacting us situations are very tricky. I so identify with your situation. I am sort of in it right now. Well, my breakup happened exactly 5 months ago, but since the beginning my ex has been contacting me as a friend. He emails at least once a month.And a few days ago he called! I feel that same fear and hurt that you feel and right now I am debating wether to be his friend or not. If you have a chance do read my posting titled: Need ur help guys. Had upper hand with ex now feel I messed up. You should find it in my profile.

I am really short on words here as I am in a similar situation. In my case it is a bit more advance or pathetic maybe as I have little by little opened up to this friendship with ex and I am not really sure if I am ready for it. I feel stupid because 5 months have passed. But when I talked to him on the phone the feelings came back. I still want to be back with me but he is just friendly. When we broke up he made it clear he just wanted to be firends. Part of me wants this to change. And I just feel really confused, frozen, afraid as to what to do. Oh well, please do let us know how things work out for you. Hope you have the corage to do the right thing for you. Best of luck!

-Reborn