here we go again

[guyoverthere]

A brief summary...

Girlfriend of three years and I split in August. We were VERY close. Still are, just not a couple.

Circumstances for breakup include:

1. I was working too much

2. She was working too much

3. We were working opposite schedules

4. She was becoming close to another guy

5. I was not happy about it

 

The guy was a catalyst more than anything. We had other problems (intimacy, fear of taking next step ((marriage)), future goals differed), but ultimately, we were doing really well.

She has admitted to not dealing with the situation well. I have admitted to clamming up when I should have been open and communicative.

Now we're thinking about getting back together but I am getting the impression she just wants to keep me around because she's scared of being alone. She has an anxiety disorder and needs constant affirmations (read - she's smart enough, she's pretty enough, she's making the right decisions).

Since we've talked about getting back together, she's kinda been blowing me off. Before the "talk", I was doing fine on my own and only occasionally getting depressed. She called me all the time.

Ladies especially --- What is she thinking?????

[happily2007]

It really sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. While you are definitely not together she calls all the time, when you consider getting back together she's blowing you off. I'd give yourself some time before jumping back in and getting involved again.

[laboheme]

Could it be that she's afraid that if you get back together, the same problems will resurface? What is the situation with the other guy now? Is she still close with him? If she is, I think that this is a lost cause, unfortunately. But if she seems to be only interested in you, give it time until her signals are more clear. It sounds like you've already had an open discussion, so there's not much more you can do...

[mustbefate]

How old is she? From my experience, some women in their mid-20's simply are not ready to commit. Especially, when they've "matured" early on and missed out on that whole girls just wanna have fun.

 

I bet that the other guy was a co-worker.

 

-Brian

[EddieRentz]

Yeah, was it a co-worker?... seems with the reality of the 10-12 hour day that a lot of people have sunk themselves so deep into their careers that someone who does the same thing for the same company ends up looking really appealing when things are a little stale in the real relationship...

happened to me...

[guyoverthere]

It was a co-worker. He moved to the opposite side of the country and is no longer in the picture. He text messages her alot and she says that he told her he loved her. She isn't really into him like that (just friends, or so she says) and part of the deal of getting back together is that communication between the two stop completely.

We're getting together to talk about it tomorrow.

Wish me luck. I'm sure I'll tell you what happened.

[EddieRentz]

NC between her and that guy is crucial... she needs to choose

 

GOOD LUCK!!!