i feel pathetic

[stratguy620]

So, me and the lady went out tonight, and we parked the car in the parking lot of my family's apartment complex. Of course, we start getting hot and heavy, and she starts rubbing me down there. We've gotten pretty heavy before, and although we are both ready to start moving forwards, this is the first time we have done anything sexual. So, anyways, while she's touching me, she kinda stops and asks me if there's anything I want her to do. I don't know what the **** happened, but that just killed it for me. I was so turned on, and within a few seconds, I just lost it all. She of course felt kinda bad that it happened, but I feel like ****, being a 20 year old guy and I couldn't even keep it up.

 

I was a bit nervous too, seeing as we were in a parking lot, and because I haven't been with a girl in over a year, so I'm that contributed too. Maybe I came here just so I can vent, but if anyone can offer any kind of advice, please help me. Like I said, I guess I just thought about it too much and got nervous...ugggh

[DropToZero]

Hey man, don't worry about it, things happen to all of us. Trust me, at least she felt bad...whether or not that's good or not I don't know. But hey...this past summer I was with a girl for the first time in like a year...and then when we went to actually have sex, because I prolonged foreplay for so long(wasn't sure if I wanted to sleep with her)...when we finally made it to bed, I lasted like 30 seconds...that's embarrassment. No hard feelings between her and I...but it doesn't feel great to be laughed at when I was the older one who was supposed to be more experienced and "last." So yeah...see it happens...just relax, next time. If anything...tell a (close) friend, I did...and he had his own story (very much like yours) just to cheer me up and feel like I wasn't alone. Just brush it aside, it'll be cool.

[MacGyverRI]

You came or lost the erection?

 

Both are kinda normal under the circumstances.

[holyohio]

Her insecurity and lack of ability to take control of the situation/looking to you for approval in the HEAT OF THE MOMENT was a turn-off for you (as it is to most men).

 

You lost your erection because you were turned-off...

 

Not exactly rocket science, mate You're fine.

[DN]

On the other hand having a lady who is concerned about doing things that give you pleasure is fairly cool as well. She may be insecure or inexperienced but at least she asked - many women would have shut down and asked to be taken home.

[Mrs Elliott Smith]

You should see my boyfriend when I want him to have sex wtih me at my house (when my parents are upstairs)! He gets so nervous about being caught, that half the times, the sex either doesn't happen, or I come and he doesn't, or whatever. It's usually not that great, and yes, it is because of his anxiety over getting caught. When we have sex at HIS house, or anywhere else we're guaranteed to NOT get caught, he is fine, and sex is always successful... lol

 

As for her saying "Is there anything I can do for you?" Well, I'm gonna get a little deep with this one, now. Maybe her saying that made YOU think that SHE was acting cheap and way too easy and available. Did you feel like she was acting like a prostitute, or something? Or that she was only there to get you off? I'm not saying that you really thought she was a prostitute, but it might have given you a vibe that her sole purpose was to get you off, and it all came too easy for you. Did you wonder: Where's the challenge? Isn't sex supposed to be a matter of give-and-take? Did her comment make YOU feel cheap? As if all you wanted was for HER to do things to you (when that wasn't the actual case)?

 

I can see how her comment can be a turn-off. And probably that, combined with your anxiety over getting caught, made your member quite sad.

 

Don't worry about it-- it happens sometimes. Your issue probably wasn't a physical cause, but more of a psychological/mental cause. With regards to the future, maybe you should avoid sex in public places, or other places where you risk getting caught. Also, you need to somehow let your girl know that you do not share her mentality (i.e. she's there to do sexual things to you, and she's not expecting much in return).

 

Good luck, man. And remember, these are all of my opinions!