Going on 5 months and I still can't get her out

[nsbguy32169]

I wish I knew a quicker way to do this. It's almost been 5 months since she ended our 3 year relationship and I still can't get her out of my head. I've been hanging out with one of my old friends from high school who I've always known is interested in me, but even when I'm with her hanging out or on a date, my ex still pops into my head. I've noticed this over the past few months already, but it seems like it's more intense now than ever. I feel the need to go out everyday, all day... to do something awesome and exciting EVERYDAY... but in my head I'm not wanting that because of JUST the fun and excitement... no, no, no, instead I'm doing it in competition with her. I want to be having a better time than she is, I want to be having fun all day long. I don't even want to sleep anymore, I just want to be with friends all the time and party everyday... and when that doesn't happen... when my friends are busy or it's too crappy out to do something "exciting" I get upset... but I don't know who or what I get upset towards. It's almost like I feel the right to be having a better time than her because she broke my heart. I feel that she should be having a crappy time everyday while I'm out... I think I'm starting to become more like she is; needing people around to make me happy, requiring the presense of others to feel secure and happy, which is wrong. I never used to be like this. I never used to need others around me to make me happy. I could spend an entire weekend by myself just relaxing and working out, but now here I am, thinking that whenever I'm alone I'm unhappy... that my life sucks because I don't have enough people in my life to make me happy all the time. But my happiness is my responsibility and no one else's.

 

The stupid thing is my life is awesome right now. I'm hanging out with friends everyday, exercising and looking better everyday, having fun everyday, my grades are just plain awesome, and I have another fun week ahead of me... my life is awesome and I can't see it clearly because I'm so blinded by the desire to have an infinite amount of fun everyday. What a stupid concept.

 

What really gets me is I can NOT be in another relationship for almost a year because of my work/travel schedule for 2007. Sure I can date, but having a girl that's always there for you is such a nice feeling... I guess I'm just venting some more...

[Orlander]

Everything you are feeling is absolutely normal. 5 months isn't a long enough time to get over someone in my opinion. Just keep studying...that's most important. I hope you are in no contact with your ex...that should help in the long run with getting over her.

 

Orlander

[Ocean123]

I have been feeling exactly the same for the last 6 months. It's got to the point where I'm exhausted. Still think about the ex a lot, but only during those lonely periods.

 

important things I have gained from all of this, is that I know what friends and family have been supportive to me through the last 6 months, and i've become more sensitive to how people are feeling.

I'm planning a trip away for a month, to give myself and those who have been good to me a break

[SpeedingCars]

5 months isn't a long time to get over a 3 year relationship... don't worry. It's helpful to learn how to be alone... you know? Because I think what also hurt you so bad when you guys broke up is you depended on each other for happiness and now that she's gone, you're left with your friends, who in turn will be gone sometimes too. YOU are your own best friend. Cherish your alone time aka your "down time".. not many people are blessed to have it.

 

Also, it's natural to want to have fun ALL the time, especially after a break-up so you don't have to deal with the harsh reality, but maybe it's time to really sit down, relax, and go into some DEEEEEP thinking... about yourself, about the relationship, etc.

 

It almost sounds as if you're running from the truth.