Male role

[confuzedboy89]

Is it shown and expected in society and nature that the male is supposed to protect the female. This doesn't mean women can't support themselves but in a relationship the man usally is the protecter. What kind of protection is expected of a man in a realtionship?

 

Is there a chance for a smaller man who can't fight off/beat a bigger man? Can he still find a beautiful women or do the weak die off and the strong surivive? If the awnser is yes, then why do the bigger males get the prettier women? sry, I amm just really frustrated tonight. thanks for your awnsers.

[Calvin5]

Among humans, historically men have been established as the PROTECTORS and PROVIDERS of women and the community.

 

Ofcourse some women can protect and provide like some men can bake cookies and raise children, but generally speaking men are expected to take on the role of protector and provider because of their physical strength and more aggressive nature.

 

If you are a smaller man...or any size man for that matter and can't fight worth a damn.....my advice to you is not to go or take your lady in areas where you are likely to be physically challenged such as night clubs and sporting events.

And work on building your strength and fighting skills so when the time comes....you'll be ready for any challenge.

 

But remember, women are more attracted to wealth and money more so than size so concentrate on getting some loot and you'll get the women of your choosing.....which includes the prettiest if you so choose...lol.

[Anna.]

I don't think a man's ability to physically protect a woman plays a large part in selection. I could be wrong, b/c I only know I guess how I feel and what I think based on what I've seen.

 

I mean I, personally, like to think any man I'm with would do anything in his power to make sure that I am safe. But it's more about his attitude and feelings towards/about me that matter, not his actual physical potential to protect me.

[Daligal83]

But remember, women are more attracted to wealth and money more so than size so concentrate on getting some loot and you'll get the women of your choosing.....which includes the prettiest if you so choose...lol.

 

I think you'll find that if you ask women, most will say that we are not attracted to wealth and money. It's unfair to categorize all women as being like this. Sure, some are...but the majority are not. Getting money is not the way to get a woman.

[Anna.]

But remember, women are more attracted to wealth and money more so than size so concentrate on getting some loot and you'll get the women of your choosing.....which includes the prettiest if you so choose...lol.

 

Come on, dude. Women are more attracted to money? And the prettiest is what matters in choosing a mate for a man? That's a bit of a superficial assessment of the selection procss, don't you think?

[terk2021]

It really comes down to the woman, and particularly at when and at what stage you meet them in life. It also comes down to their past as well. I have dated the most incredible of women that have treated me great, and the most incredible women that loved to date my wallet. I have dated women that have walked all over me for being too nice...

 

It's a delicate balance of timing, attraction, interests, and goals in life aligning... It's also about being yourself too.

 

There is not just one answer to this question: But the one thing I think I have learned over my past 4 relationships, timing is everything in a relationship...

[Calvin5]

Women aren't attracted to wealth & money???????????

 

Lol...don't ya just HATE hypocrisy?

[Daligal83]

How is that hypocritical? It would be hypocritical if we went out and acted like we were attracted to wealth and money, but still claim that women aren't like this. I know I don't, and I'm sure Anna doesn't...and how could you possibly know if we were or weren't?

 

I don't want to hijack the OP's thread though...I'd be happy to discuss that topic with you in a new thread or through PM.

 

OP..just treat a woman well without letting her walk all over you, and you will find a good one. If she doesn't appreciate you, then she's not the right one for you. That's what it comes down to in my opinion.

[coooolsome]

If a women is attracted to money that means she is a gold digger. Usually a woman is attracted to a man who can Protect and provide. Part of providing means that he has money, not a lot, but the ability to take care of her and the kids. This is built into our genetics and as much as people say they don't care about how much money someone makes, they do look at if he can keep a stable job and provide for the family.

 

Protecting a women, doesnt mean beating up people. There is more to protection than just that. Women want a guy who will throw themselves in front of danger to save her. If she is being hassled, the man can step in and "save" her. That doesnt mean he has to fight. Its basically her knowing that she feels safe and secure with him.

 

I was at a dance club and I was with a bunch of people and these drunk guys kept dancing on one of the girls in the group. I stood there, watched them and a little later, one guy came up to me and apologized. I didn't have to say a word but that guy knew if he went to far, I would have beaten the crap out of him, even though im not a huge guy in anyway. Its more about demeanor than anything. Thats why girls like guys who are confident, have self control and are challenging.

 

Those three things basically show her that you can "protect" her if needed.

[confuzedboy89]

Thanks, that helps alot. good advice coooolsome. It is also built into the male genetics to " jump" infront of danger when danger appears to protect a women?

[Calvin5]

Daligal

 

 

How is that hypocritical? It would be hypocritical if we went out and acted like we were attracted to wealth and money, but still claim that women aren't like this. I know I don't, and I'm sure Anna doesn't...and how could you possibly know if we were or weren't?

 

I don't want to hijack the OP's thread though...I'd be happy to discuss that topic with you in a new thread or through PM

.

Actually, since Confusedboy made a statement about what and who he felt attracted women, I think this discussion fits well within the subject of the thread.

 

We're not talking about JUST you or Anne...because you two aren't the only women in the world. We're talking about women in general; and women in general are attracted to wealth and money.

 

Any grown man knows this.

Most men who acquire big houses, fancy cars, and plenty of money do so to attract women.

 

 

That's why I think it's hypocritical for somebody to sit up and say that women aren't attracted to wealth and money when THE WORLD knows the opposite to be true.

 

I also think it's actually doing damage to Confusedboy's mind to sit up and tell him someting he can clearly see isn't the case. Like most young men he can probably see what women like and respond to, despite what many SAY they like.

 

 

Wealth, money, authority, power.....women have been attracted to these things since the beginning of time.

Saying it's not true or saying it's a generalization isn't gonna change the facts...it's gonna only add to more confusion because anybody with common sense can see that it IS true for the most part.

[Anna.]

It's not fair calvin for you state that women in general are attracted to wealth and money as a fact.

 

There are plenty of women, and its honestly not just a small minority, that have been the one's making more money and monetarily supporting a partner in a current or past relationship.

 

I would probably agree w/ coooolsome's response.

 

Protection and provision are different from wealth and money.

[silky88]

Of course women want men who have a job and at least SOME money -- we want to be sure that they have their own lives and will not be moochers/completely dependent on us. But a man by no means has to be rich or even middle class for me to be interested in him.

 

Hell, I'm completely heartbroken over a broke waiter right now, and fell in love with him while i was already with a guy who owns two art galleries and bought me tons of stuff. Money means much less to most women than guys think. At least to any woman who, in my opinion, is worth dating. Gold-digger does not equal true lover. Stature isn't very important to me either. As I've recently posted in another thread, my "type" tends to be smaller, skinny, hairless white boys, all other things being equal.

 

In fact, here are my top ten attributes in a man, in approximate order of importance:

 

1. intelligence

2. maturity

3. affectionate/attentive

4. honest/sincere

5. cute face

6. wants a family someday

7. not overweight

8. not religious

9. laid-back

10. communicative

 

notice that neither height nor money nor social status made the top ten. i'm sure that there would be exceptions to these traits to whom i may still have chemistry or be attracted, but for the most part, i've gathered this list from experience of what i've liked about guys i've met or what i haven't liked and would have preferred.

[Calvin5]

Anna

 

It's not fair calvin for you state that women in general are attracted to wealth and money as a fact.

There are plenty of women, and its honestly not just a small minority, that have been the one's making more money and monetarily supporting a partner in a current or past relationship.

Out of about 3.5 Billion women in the world.....I'm sure only 1% or about 35 million women would count as "plenty" even though they're no where near the majority.

 

We can say that plenty of women are lesbians.....but that certainly isn't the norm.

 

Can't just pick out a few exceptions and make that the norm....we gotta go with the majority.

 

The majority of women are looking for confort and security when considering a mate.

 

 

I would probably agree w/ coooolsome's response.

Protection and provision are different from wealth and money.

Lol....not sure about what cooolsome said but I'm the first person on here who said that the role of a man is to protect and provide for his lady.

 

But how is he gonna do it if he's broke and has no assets?

 

Protect her with WHAT?

Provide her with WHAT?

 

 

Silky

 

....what do you mean "not religious"?

 

Lol, what's wrong with a man with a little religious fanaticism in his life?

[CaptainPlanet]

Often a man who does not have wealth or power will attract women because they believe he will have in the future. This is the qualities a women will list when she is being more truthful. Such as intelligence, which is often regarded by many people and in my opinion wrongly, as a precursor to wealth and power.

 

It depends on the woman, some demand you have material possesions. Perhaps to show your ability to provide. Others will not, but will demand you show them that you have potential to do so. I believe this is shown through the need for confidence in a man and in the way women will describe things like intelligence to be vitaly important. Which attribute it is exactly depends on the girl.

[Calvin5]

Captain Planet

 

You're right....if a woman sees that you have the POTENTIAL to protect and provide for her it's also attractive.

 

She'd consider the relationship as an investment.

[coooolsome]

Thanks, that helps alot. good advice coooolsome. It is also built into the male genetics to " jump" infront of danger when danger appears to protect a women?

 

It is built into our genetics but in this day and age, social programming has undone a lot. We are raised to think that women want a certain thing, like nice guys, guys who are wusses, think Holywood movies. Even I thought that, I couldn't figure out why my ex broke up with me. I did everything for her but then I realized that I didn't act like a man. I did not act like a provider and protector. I acted like a child and she in turn acted like my mother.

 

Even a women who brings in the bread and butter will still be attracted to a man who has those qualities. She doesnt want a mooch. She does not want to be the protector.

 

The amount of money a man has, has no bearing on if a women will be attracted to you. If you notice, guys that do have a lot of money actually act differently. They act more like a man and this is what attracts a women to him. Wouldn't you act differently if you didn't have to worry about money and knew you could have any women you wanted. It gives you confidence, which is what a women is attracted to.

 

If money was what women wanted, you wouldnt see them with bums, and mooches, and guys who can't even take care of themselves.

[Calvin5]

It depends on whether or not someone wants to attract WOMEN or A PARTICULAR woman.

 

If they are trying to attract a particular woman then they should get to know that particular woman and what she likes.

She may not like a man with a lot of money, she may like a broke man with confidence....lol.

Or she may like short men, she may like muscular men.....there are many different things that individual females like.

 

But if they are trying to attract women in general as most young men are, then theyu should try to acquire things the majority of women like which INCLUDES confidence, but also wealth, good looks, the ability to defend oneself, ect.....

 

Those traits will attract a wide variety of women.

 

It makes more sense to me that you would want to attract a greater pool of women and then choose from that, instead of focusing on what one or two women.....who probably aren't even available to you...may like.

Wealth and money gives a man more options.

 

If you don't like the women in your vicinity, wealth gives you the option to continue looking elsewhere....lol.

That's why some wealthy men travel around the globe playboying.

[coooolsome]

Just a quick note, you will never attract all women. However, with confidence, self control, and challenge, you can attract more women and keep them around.

 

Also, good looks only get you in the door. No woman wants a "hot" boring guy. If you are not blessed with Brad Pitt looks, you can always dress nicer, and make sure you live a clean lifestyle.

[CaptainPlanet]

I can attract all women because I have my own orbit and gravitational pull.

[sddeaston]

First, how old are you? That is meant in the most respectful way. Not meant to offend.

 

It is my observation that women, in GENERAL, are not this way. Honestly, that is a certain MINORITY of them. I too used to think like Calvin5.

 

In my opinion, the reason some believe women are that way is for one of two reasons. A- Either have been burnt by someone who was that way (superficial), and need to justify it, or B- Have experienced this in an in-direct manner (seeing on TV, or seeing some guys with cash flow and pretty ladies, etc.) and have made their own deduction about women in general. (Age plays a large role in this one, thus the reason for the question on your age)

 

If your posts, and your general overview of women is a product of B, then one needs to develop stronger values, and look deeper in others as well as themselves, to find what a "GOOD" person is like, and consequently what a "Good" woman is truly like.

 

Obviously, the definition of "Good" is going to vary from person to person, however, judging by the orientation of this thread, lets assume that "Good" is characterized by good moral values, and other things congruent with your own beliefs as far as a relationship, and is GENERALLY what people with honest intentions, and people who want to be in a stable relationship seek in a S/O.

 

I am not saying that your beliefs are shallow, although can be misinterpreted that way. But I am saying that your generalization, simply can not be true in the case of all women, or even the majority. Although, I am not implying that it does not happen, because it does.

[Calvin5]

No offense taken....I'm 30.

 

I just know what I've experienced and seen in my life and I know that people and especially women will often LIE about what they want and like when it comes to relationships.....and this keeps many men especially young men in a perpetual state of confusion.

Women like men who can either protect them, provide for them, or give them good sex.

 

To hell with all this "good confident nice guy" politically correct jive...lol.

 

What I just listed are the 3 main reasons a woman will choose a man.

 

Now if a man doesn't have one of those three things to offer, he's not getting anywhere unless he pays a prostitute.

 

Now that's REAL.

 

 

Ofcourse when I speak I speak from my own limited experiences and no one else's, but a lot of what I'm hearing on here sounds like it came right off of the Oprah Winfrey Show....lol.

It SOUNDS good and sweet but has very little basis in reality what so ever.

 

 

I've been with good women and not so good women, and God knows I have a lot more learning to do in life...but I'm not crazy nor was I born yesterday...I know what I know and I know what is and isn't effective.

 

I'm not gonna be a crowd pleaser and lie telling Confuzedboy or anybody else something I know not to be the truth from my experiences.

 

Hey....I just gotta keep it real from my end....it's the only way I know to be.

[coooolsome]

Women arent as shallow as you think. Yes, there are some but that would be a small percentage. Men with money, power, they exhibit qualities that do attract women. Its not the money or the power that attracts them. Its the fact that the men that have these, know they have these and that they KNOW that they can have any woman. Its this confidence that women are attracted to.

 

If what you say is true, then there are guys I know that should not have women falling all over them. I know a guy who does not make a lot of money, doesnt even have a car, and lives with a friend of mine but we go out to a bar and he has hot women coming up to him all the time. From watching him I see the confidence he exhibits. Even guys want to be around him. Its like some hidden power draws people to him.

 

He is a nice guy but not in the way you think of a nice guy. He is a gentleman. He is nice to people as long as they do not cross his boundries. If they do, he will let them know. He does not allow himself to be disrespected in anyway and this is what women want.

[Anna.]

I just know what I've experienced and seen in my life and I know that people and especially women will often LIE about what they want and like when it comes to relationships

 

You are most definitely implying with this statement that women lie about what they want when it comes to relationships more than men.

 

You wanna be real? Your comments have been offensive to me and probably several other women who've read your posts. Guys lie just as much as girls. Men are not morally superior when it comes to relationships nor are women. There are just dishonest people in this world and you gotta deal with that. And it's futile to debate which gender is worse.

 

I find your attitude about women and relationships to be quite superficial. Possibly you need to change the type of women you yourself go after or put yourself around. Because I promise you there are plenty of good, decent women out there who place value on a man's character above any other qualities or assets.

[Calvin5]

Coooolsome

 

Man you're dwelling on exceptions to the rule.

 

If a man has no money and no power, outside of good looks he has NOTHING to even be confident about and few women are gonna give him a second look.

 

Only a fool walks around with his hand stuffed in his pocket smiling and looking all "confident" with nothing to offer....lol.

 

 

 

 

Anna

 

I didn't say women lie more in general than men, I said they lie more about what they want and like when it comes to relationships.

 

 

 

I don't know about you, but most of the men I know won't put up with women who habitually sleep with other people, beat them, and verbally abuse them.

 

But many women will tell the entire world how great a man she has while he's doing all these things to her.

And put up with it for a very long time!

 

 

 

When most men say they want a decent, quiet, woman who is into nursing....that's usually who they go after and get.

 

A woman says she wants a nice, sweet, loving man who respects women for their minds....but somehow always ends up with with Andrew Dice Clay and wants to cry on everyone's shoulder about her relationship problems.

 

Eeeeeeehhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew....lol.

 

So what most women want and what they SAY they want are usually two different things.