Being 'Innocent' and Acting 16...

[jenna1012]

hey all,

 

i'm 16 and a junior in high school, our school had a christmas party tonight and somebody mentioned how someone still looked like a virgin, and then everyone started asking each other if they were virgins. i was completely taken back by this because i cannot even imagine having sex at such a young age, i mean 16 is still sooo young and we are still figure out who we are as individuals.

 

so then someone made a dirty joke and everyone started laughing and then one of my friend's turns to me and says, "stop laughing jenna, you don't even get it, you're so innocent, it's not like you've done anything with a guy anyways" it kind of took me back, i mean why are girls who are 15/16 talking about oral sex and sex and are actually doing it.

 

so i guess in a sense it would be nice to fit in with the other girls and have a boyfriend to "do stuff with", but i mean I've kissed a guy, I go on dates, I happen to think I'm a regualr teenager, I just choose not to get involved and try to grow up so fast. Yet, I still feel so left out, like being 16 means I'm SUPPOSED to have sex, and not be innocent anymore.

 

So i Don't know why this bothered me so much, but they comment kind of made me feel like I'm not normal...I need your thoughts

[danman4968]

You should value your virginity...you may not while you have it (i didnt anyways) but then i lost it and regretted giving it to the person i did. I would do anything to have it back to save it for someone else...i think thats very cool you actually value yourself.

 

I wish i could meet a girl with some morals.

[CarnelianButterfly]

They think its cool and that they are better because the are "experienced". I commend you on your values! You don't have to do anything because everyone else is, it shows that you respect your choices and what you feel is right for you.

 

You're friend was wrong to make that kind of a comment, it was really mean to say it that way. Having sex doesn't give you any more understanding than not having sex, you don't become enlightened.

 

If normal means having sex too early to be fully responsible for all that comes with it, I'M GLAD YOU AREN'T NORMAL.

 

I'm not normal either, I went through HS without sex, I'm 25 a grad student at college and happily no sex. I decided a long time ago to make my future the priority of my time at school. Abstinence is the only proven birth control and sex is such a small part of life.

[laboheme]

we are still figure out who we are as individuals.

 

That is SUCH a good way of looking at things. You need to know yourself and be comfortable with yourself before introducing other people into the equation. That applies equally to relationships and sex (since those two don't always coincide).

 

You seem to have a firm grip on what's important to you and what you are and aren't willing to do. Make sure that you keep that grip!

[Trab]

half your friends are probably lying about it! Really! They want to fit in!

[Lansing]

I agree with others.. Focus on school, etc.... I think you are in a good frame of mind that you are going on "dates" but aren't loooking for sex at this age. Sex can have a huge impact on you and let you get emotionally involved with someone you shouldn't be. I think you should do as you are doing and wait until the right time (and if you are in doubt, then it is probably the wrong time!)....

[kittysaysmeow]

I think what you're doing is great.

 

If I could tell myself something at 16 that I know now it would be to not grow up too fast. Sex...guys...you'll be dealing with all that stuff later on anyway. And it gets old fast! haha.