New to dating and getting mixed signals, help!

[nicolediver]

I am pretty new to the dating scene because I was in a relationship for the last several years so I am hoping to find some help here. Went on a first date with someone recently and it seemed great. He was attentive, affecionate, good conversation, etc He called me the very next day to make plans for the following night.

 

Well, we had our second date and now I am so confused. At parts of the date, the conversation was flowing fine and at other times it seemed awkward and grasping. I was not sure if it was mine (and his) nerves or if he just was not into me. He kept continuing the date though. After tea we got dinner then a drink, etc

 

However, I felt our chemistry seemed much different. He just seemed less enthusiastic and really did not talk to me. He did admit to being extremely tired so I am not sure how much of a role that played in things. I just felt the first date was SO good and the second was awkward for the most part.

 

So I pretty much figured we would not see each other again as it felt off to me. But at the end of the date he suggested getting together this weekend.

 

I mean what do you think? Has he lost interest but has not given up completely? Was he nervous? Are second dates harder? I am just not used to this at all.

 

As well, I texted him this afternoon thanking him for the date, etc and have gotten no reply.

 

Do most dating periods go through a period of awkwardness?? Please help!

[chai714]

Not sure how old you are, but this this man kiss you?

 

Even if he didn't, he wants to see you more. That should speak for itself.

[Clementine orange]

Some guys are really good at the first date, it's the 2nd and the 3rd etc when they start to bog down since it's decision time and/or they used up all their charm on date number 1

Think about it, first dates are easy - one probably isn't going to go home with the person (home as in sleep with them I mean) and the adreniline is rushing, but second, third - as soon as the prospect of intimacy starts to rear its head then it's nervous time!

 

Good luck, this might not be over just yet and don't forget, there's lotsa fish in the sea anyway

[Lynxdn]

I would stick with the too tired explanation for now. He did initiate a weekend assignation, so stay with the flow.

 

You seem to hold a great store on the "conversation." Talk can rise and sink, so relax a bit. You might consider some topics to toss in ahead of time. I saw a great one on the Mysteries of Love special this week on PBS. A woman reading Dante and retracing his steps in Italy meets a Virgil scholar. He asks her "Are you living a biography or a novel?" and explained, that living a biography is just piling up facts about yourself until you die. Living a novel is to imagine the life you want and then going out to live it. Someone retracing Dante's steps is already living a novel IMHO.

 

Another is "tell me a dream you had?" Could be interesting ...

 

Lynxdn

[hosswhispra]

Think about it, first dates are easy - one probably isn't going to go home with the person (home as in sleep with them I mean) and the adreniline is rushing, but second, third - as soon as the prospect of intimacy starts to rear its head then it's nervous time!

 

What I write next is not meant to be mean in anyway.

 

I can understand the high divorce rate better.....2nd/3rd date the prospect of intimacy starts to rear its head? Really, that early? That would explain in general a lot of mismatched couples and eventual break-ups/divorces. Would they really be together if they took some 'quality' time in getting to know one another in a non-intimate fashion? Just curious....

[Clementine orange]

What I write next is not meant to be mean in anyway.

 

I can understand the high divorce rate better.....2nd/3rd date the prospect of intimacy starts to rear its head? Really, that early? That would explain in general a lot of mismatched couples and eventual break-ups/divorces. Would they really be together if they took some 'quality' time in getting to know one another in a non-intimate fashion? Just curious....

 

Prospect is the operative word here. I can tell you that women usually start to wonder what is your problem if you haven't made a pass at them by the third date.

High divorce rate has more to do with the availablilty, acceptance and ease of divorce it than your suggestion. That, and the fact that women don't have to have a man in their life to survive (like it was in the 50s)

[DMXtreme]

First dates you have alot to talk about, if the date starts getting awkward on date 2 then give it another date (different place) if it is still awkward then you might not have any chemistry together. Keep your options open and dont settle, you will know when mr right is infront of you. Good luck!