Frustrated with old friends behavior

[binsoft]

Hello,

Maybe someone can help me out? This is one of those problems where you just feel trapped.

 

I am 43 and have an old high school buddy who I am friends with. We were out of touch for about 8 years but re-aqauinted 5 years ago. My problem is that he calls me every single day. It has gotten to the point that I refuse to answer my phone, and only on certain occasions.

He commutes to his job in the city I live in, and so while commuting to or from work he will usually call. Of course it is convenient for him to call when he is commuting and has nothing to do. Also,He usually attempts to reach me at least three times during the day, of course with no success.

 

Finally about every two weeks he is able to get ahold of me. When he does, we are usually on the phone for about 1.5 hours. During the conversation 95% of the converstion is about him. He talks practically non stop, and I have some times even placed the phone quietly on the coffee table while I go get a glass of water. (He never knows I left the phone).

What is sad is we really have very little in common. He seems limited in his conversation, and can not venture very far into intellectual conversation. He also likes to joke and talk about sex. This is annoying to me, since I believe sex is a sacred thing.

If I am assertive and tell him I have to go, I have to tell him at least three times before I am able to get off of the phone. ANd it usually takes 4 to 5 additional minutes after I say I have to go. It seems as if he ignores the fact that I have things to do. I practically feel like just hanging up on him, but I am not this rude. Also, he will often try to call back again the same day.

 

How do I deal with this? He is not gay. He is recently divorced, has a girlfriend and even finds time to cheat on the girlfriend. I am married, and my time is so important to me. Especially because I am in the process of starting my own business.

 

He does not have many friends and is an only child. He does have two grilfriends, but still needs to talk to me every day. I come from a large family and I do not even have time to talk with my siblings every day. Or even for 1.5 hours over the phone.

 

A few months ago, I thought I would do an experiment and let him call me every single day. We talked every day for a minimum of 45 minutes. Some of the time he even called twice per day. The problem did not get any better, as he still felt it necessary to call me every single day.

 

Any advice is appreciated.

[kdreger]

He just sounds like he likes to talk. Not to insult you but it probably doesn't matter who he's talking to. Have you talked to other people he knows? Chances are he's the same way with them. Honestly, I don't think he'd notice if you disappeared, he'd probably just call someone else. Your weakness has that you've been there in the past so he thinks you're willing to listen to him talk about himself.

 

Call display is a great thing.

[S4il]

This Guy Sounds like her Really really Likes you, to the point of obsession. he talks alot about himself, to try to impress, A question...What was this guy like in H.S. ???

 

All these contacts seem annoying even to me, (reading) i noticed you said he talks about SEX a lot...a typical guy, is he thinking your interested in him..Most likely the answer to that is "yes" you also said he is dating, having sexual contact with 2 girls. Well maybe he thinks he can do the same with you...seeing your married, he has confidence in himself from being able to balance 2 sexual partners around. and is attempting to TRY the same thing with you?...I can't say for sure...but that is what it seems like. i would change your Phone Number, Or Just tell him you don't want to talk anymore, that he makes you feel uneasy. and Upset when he talks about Sex. and Himself....Good Luck, and if that fails. call 911

[Genesis]

It sounds like he is lonely and wants a friend or he has always had crush on you and is trying to live out his fantasies. I kind of feel sorry for the guy but, if you want to get rid of him you need to get caller ID. Only take his calls maybe once or twice a week. If you are married he should not be calling a married woman all the time. I bet he gets on your husbands nerves too! You will just have to screen his calls and hope he gets the point .

 

He must not care much for his girlfriends or he would be calling them all the time. You may be more interesting to talk to than his girlfriends, which if you say he is a bore, that does not say much about them . I think he just has a crush on you, and wants to see where he can take this friendship. Since he has no scruples about cheating, I am sure he does not care about having sex with a married woman.