How to make it last

[DDRFreak]

Right now my gf of 7 months and I are about 1.5 hours apart. I do everything I can to see her on weekends when i get the time. Right now i'm trying to balance Full-time college and near full-time word as well as seeing her on weekends. The relationship has been amazing from the start, but lately i feel that she isn't even trying to make it work. How do i talk to her about it? How do I make this love last?

[laboheme]

I think the best way to go about this is to tell her honestly that you feel like the two of you are drifting apart and you want to work on that.

 

Do you guys keep in touch on a regular basis? Phone calls? Cute emails? Maybe you could compile a list of things that long-distance couples do and give them a try together (look at some threads on this forum for ideas!) However, be careful to not sound like you're accusing her of not pulling her weight in the relationship -- it won't inspire her to do any better.

[DDRFreak]

We've been sendings texts since we've been together. That's one of the big things i've noticed about us. She used to text me with such vigor and imagination. But now she just sends me one-word replies... she texts tons of people and it seems like i'm the only one she does that to. Thank you for the advice about not blaming her. I might have done that.

[karenin]

try do special things, like you did when you first met. post her silly letters, send her an ecard just to say hello...tell her how you feel as well as she'll probably sense it. i did that with my bf and he's just not as spontaneous as me, we talked through it and we'll get there...hopefully!

[Lynnie]

I've been in an LDR for 2 1/2 years. We met young, I living in north Georgia and him in south Florida. We have been able to make a few trips either me to him or vice versa through our time together. Those trips usually lasted with us spending about two weeks together before having to spend months apart again. The drive is about ten or eleven hours, depending on traffic, so as you can imagine, visits are limited.

 

We've managed to keep it fresh the entire time by talking on the phone, on messengers, and through emails. The biggest thing is don't force it. If you two really love each other, it'll work. If it just isn't there, forcing the issue won't do either of you any good. Long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain even for those who are extremely devoted.

 

Try expressing your feelings, but like someone else said, without pointing fingers. Ask her how she feels as well. Open lines of communication are the biggest means of support in keeping an LDR going. If there isn't trust and communication, everything will slowly disintegrate until nothing is left.

 

After two and a half years, we'll be moving in together in January. I'm both surprised and not so surprised that we made it this far. There were tough times when I thought surely it couldn't last much longer. But in the end, I'm really glad it did. We're happy together and with all we've been through, I know we can make it through anything.

 

If you and this girl are meant to be together, then you two will work it out. But if not, don't get discouraged. Sleep well knowing how hard these types of relationships are and that you gave it the best you could.

 

Good luck.