is it ok to keep to yourself sometimes in the workplace?

[Double J]

Hello,

 

Quick question for you guys. At my internship, I've really been making strides as of late to be more sociable around others. I've never been highly extroverted in the first place - I am more of a contemplative, keep to myself type of guy who, after being around people for a certain amount of time, needs to retreat and recharge my batteries.

 

I've recently posted about numerous changes that have happened in the 11 months or so that I've been here (person who trained me moving to another account, former supervisor leaving to another company, etc.) These changes, which happened out of nowhere, made me even less interested in socializing at work. In my own mind I've always seen work as a place to do work - socializing and small talk to me is just not as important. I prefer to leave that for the time I'm with my girlfriend, close friends, and at school with classmates.

 

I don't have as much time to interact with others as full-timers do, considering that I'm only in the office roughly 15-25 hours a week. There are also a few "center of attention" type of people in the office (i'm sure there are those everywhere). When they are around, I just let them have their time in the limelight. Recently, a girl was hired that loves to chat about practically anything with anybody - I can't imagine myself being like that in a million years. I can't stand mindless chit-chat, and when I know I have things to do, it makes me want to chat even less (unless it concerns work)!

 

Still, I've been trying to socialize as much as I can. I participated in a secret santa and will attend the company's holiday dinner at work.

 

Anyway, on to my question: Is it ok to be somewhat distant in the workplace? Not extremely distant to the point of looking isolated/self-centered.. but in terms of not "getting too close." I get along with everybody there, but that doesn't necessarily mean I want to become buddies with everyone. I could careless about being the center of attention. There are days that I eat in the cafeteria lunch area with co-workers, but I simply can't do it every single time. On some days I retreat to an open patio downstairs where I like to eat and reflect.

 

Has anyone else experienced this? Does anyone else value being alone at times and not always with people 24/7 in the office?

[heloladies21]

For your career in general, it's not a good thing. If you want things like promotions and hook ups, you're gonna have to develop personal relationships with those that you work with and especially your superiors. The rule is "It's not what you know, it's who you know" and this doesn't just apply to getting the job.

[in_the_mirror]

i value alone time...it is perfectly fine if you don't want to socialize in the work place. your young and it isn't like you don't have any friends or anything, it's just they don't necissarily work with you. this isn't strange at all, and i am actually like that myself when i'm at work, and sometimes as school when i know i need to focus on something. if it doesn't bother you that you are like this then don't worry about it.

[DaDancingPsych]

I think what you are describing is a healthy balance. Sometimes too much socialization can be damaging, but certainly not enough can harm you, too. Be friendly and approachable and willing to chat with others. However, if you want to take a lunch to yourself every once in awhile, go for it.

 

I personally don't think you need best friends at work, but you certainly need to develop relationships that if you were at a social situation outside of the office, you could enjoy yourself. To me, it sounds like you're on the right track.

[Lady Luck]

Ever since I got bi*ched out by my co-worker (she thinks she's all that.. if you know what I mean), I've just kept to myself. I'm usually a very introvert person, anyways.