Did I do the right thing?

[pagemaster]

Here goes, will keep it short and simple.

 

I was seeing this girl for about 1 year. It was a pure sexual relationship, a really good one. All about sex, no real relationship there. I got her pregnant in the summer, she had an ectopic pregnancy and had part of her tubes removed. Very terrible, happened around August. In October, we both agreed to stop seeing each as we simply grew apart.

 

Recently she texted me about getting together a doing something. I said ok, in her words, "Lets get together and see what happens..." "I really do want to see you and see what happens..."

 

I then found out that she had been hanging out with her ex from before me. She told me that they were close and did have sex. He helps her feel less alone. I respond with "I do not want to see you if you are seeing someone, don't want to get in the way"

 

She then responds with, "I just want fun right now nothing serious and I won't be getting in the way and there is nothing going on" I stood firm and said "forget about seeing me"

 

She had taken that as jelousy (as a friend told me) and has been telling a friend of mine who knows us both.

 

Frankly, I would see her and do something if she was not seeing someone or seeing an ex. I am trying to move on from what happened (pregnancy) but I don't like to sleep around, this ex boyfriend guy has was always obsessed with her and I don't like getting involved or in the way of someones stuff.

 

Did I do the right thing?

 

And how is this jelousy?

 

I really don't understand. Also, I am not one for just being friends after it is over. .

[heartlessromantic]

I think you did the right thing. Who cares if she thinks your jealous? You have good reasons and are living according to your values. If she wants to think you're jealous to flatter herself, it only shows what kind of mindset she has.

 

I've been in this kind of situation before. It gets messy regardless of whether it's just for "fun" - somebody always gets hurt or feels guilty in the end.

[sparkle1]

Sounds to me that she is pretty insecure...and uses sex as a way to get a man and indeed keep hold of him.

 

If you had no real relationship - then what would you both be returning to? just sex? then that would hinder you both in potentially meeting someone who could offer you sex and the relationship you need.....?

 

As for jealousy - some people want you to be jealous as a sign of emotion and feeling. If this is what she want to think - so be it.

 

The pregnancy clearly affected you.....and you need to think about maybe what would have happened had the pregnancy continued - would you of just cont to have sex relationship? or were you hoping it would be the turning point of something more substantial?

 

Sparkle x

[Lost in fairytales]

Hrmm. Ectopic pregnancy and tube removal is really bad. I hope you were there to comfort her. Was she seeing her ex before this new turn of relationship or during?

If she was seeing her ex when you two had pure sexual relationship, then maybe she likes you now. Do you like her?

 

But if she wants to two time, then you definitely did the right thing dear.

[pagemaster]

I think you did the right thing

 

 

Thanks, I am just standing behind some principles that I believe in.

 

If you had no real relationship - then what would you both be returning to?

 

True, I did get a little closer to her near the end I guess but I would not be returning to much of a real relationship.

 

The pregnancy clearly affected you.....and you need to think about maybe what would have happened had the pregnancy continued -

 

Yes it did affect me, I should of been a little more responsbile. I am a little closer to 30 and she is in her yound 20's.. But yes, I realized that I could of been more demanding about using a condom. She was on the pill but then stopped and I did know that.

 

I think it affects me a lot because I realize that I came out of this whole mess with nothing bad happened to me. She bored all the physical pain, and for that I really feel bad for her.

 

Hrmm. Ectopic pregnancy and tube removal is really bad. I hope you were there to comfort her. Was she seeing her ex before this new turn of relationship or during?

 

 

Yes I was there for her when all this happened, I dropped everthing to be with her at the abortion clinic first and then at the hospital when it was discovered that she had a ectopic pregnancy. As for her being with ex while she was me, she probably was, she seems to be a very untrusting girl.

 

then maybe she likes you now. Do you like her?

 

I do care about her, and I do really wish the best for her. I also do wish she does well with her choices. I just don't want to get involved with her in that way or come between stuff. She did say that one thing she like about me and her was that it was casual and not so serious.

 

I really do guess there is no such thing as "no strings sex"