Should I tell my boyfriend?

[xmrth]

I got an anonymous card sent to my work this weekend from a customer, and they were asking me out. The whole thing was weird because it was anonymous, and it only gave their first name and phone number.

 

Someone said my boyfriend might be a part of it (he could NOT be-- that's not like him. He's not the jealous type like that and I haven't given him a reason to do it) and said I should tell him just so he knows I'm not hiding anything.

 

But I don't really have a solid reason to tell him. I personally would have told him, but it's already the next day and I'm not really thinking about it anymore but knowing me, I'll just get nervous about it at any time.

 

Considering what it is though, it's more than just someone asking me out. This person went through the trouble of packing this card up with a note and things like that. I feel like it could get bigger, but I can't really think of any scenarios except this person within my boyfriends social group but not knowing it, kind of thing. And that's all.

 

Should I tell my boyfriend? Since he's not a jealous type, should I not worry? I want to tell him tonight but I can't make up my mind.

 

Martha

[Bethany]

I think you should tell him. What if this person keeps pursuing you? It will be so much more difficult to explain further down the line if this guy is persistent and becomes a worry to you. That to me is a solid reason.

[xmrth]

That's true... between that, and it turning into a dangerous situation like stalking, which is completely possible for anyone... I think I will... I guess the biggest problem is just not wanting him to be afraid or want to break up with me over it too.. and without being the jealous type, this is just so much more personal than anything that's happened before.

[need2bme]

Telling him is a good idea. If he is not the jealous type and you tell him what you told us, I think it will be fine.

[xmrth]

Should I show it to him? I'm afraid of him wanting to call the number-- for whatever reason he surprises me in wanting to do that. But I don't want to lie and say it's thrown out and then there be a good reason to show it to him... I can't figure out how to approach this.

[heartlessromantic]

I think you should tell him everything. If he's not the jealous type and you don't have any trust issues in the relationship, it shouldn't be a problem. I would say that openness is the best policy regardless, because it builds/reinforces trust. If it's not a big deal to you and you have nothing to hide, it shouldn't be a big deal and will be easier to handle if this person keeps trying to pursue you.

[Tech Girl]

If you're not planning on calling the admirer or acting upon it...then why would you keep it a secret? If that happenned to me, I'd be showing it to my co-workers and my boss. He is crossing the line at your place of employment. I personally don't think that's appropriate at the office.

 

Sounds like you are intrigued about who the person is and why they would go to so much trouble/secrecy to get your attention. Nothing wrong with that. I'd want to know too...but at the same time, I wouldn't act on it, and I'd be bringing it home to show my H and anyone else who wants to see something interesting.

[Night Pumpkin]

Why should you tell your boyfriend ??? Just throw the card away, and forget about whoever this person was. Obviously you don't like him and are already in a relatinship, so just forget about it. No big deal.

[Seventh]

Show it to him. The sooner the better. Then tell him that as this is a customer you do not want him to call, but that you will call and say you are not interested and please, you are in a relationship, do not ask again -- then call the number in front of your boyfriend and tell that person you are not interested.

 

Believe me, any little white lie or secrecy (hiding the fact that it happened) can poison a relationship and, since you are already nervous about it, the best thing is to just make a clean and definitive end to it.

[Seventh]

Let us know what you did and how it turned out

[xmrth]

Thanks so much your your input-- I told him tonight and it feels good to not have to worry about it, or even worry about worrying about it, if that makes sense.

I figured he'd either not care, or he'd react in some small way, but he was just neutral; he didn't care or be bothered. I'm happy because that kind of thing is out of my hands, and I don't provoke it. So to not have him be upset or jealous is great.

 

Thanks so much again; I really had NO idea what to do earlier.

[heartlessromantic]

I believe you did the best thing. White lies can turn ugly fast.

 

If you had not told him and he later found out, he might think "If it's really no big deal, there would be no reason to lie about it. So why did she hide it from me?"

 

Glad everything is okay!

[need2bme]

I say throw it away. Then you are telling the truth and it will show him how much you love him.

 

Only you know him, if there is a temptation to call, I would toss the card.

 

If you think he still would not believe you, then maybe you have to let him see the card...only you know his personality.