I just dont want to live in this world anymore....

[RejectedGrrrl]

Hi all. I found this forum today simply because i was bored and i typed in : I just want to die. And i found you guys. I dont know what to do anymore... I am 23 and a nobody, doing nothing with my life, i keep running into dead ends. I am a single mother (the father ran off to become a heroin addict, bum, and whore) and ive been through three abusive relationships in a row (and the one im currently in is being worked on, but its livable). I live with my father and we are extremely poor, and he is an alcoholic and does drugs, and i cant stand having my son around it, not to mention all he does is rage and scream all the time. I dont know what to do.. I cant get an apartment because i have a warrant for my arrest and i have bad credit and rental history... Ive tried soooo many times at complexes AND through independent renters, and to no avail. All I want to do now is straighten my life up but there is no way to climb out of the hole i am in.. i got a car but i cant get a license because of the warrant, and i cant pay it off, and im afraid ill lose my son if i go to jail. He is the only thing other than my boyfriend that keeps me somewhat sane. I am also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and have an eating disorder. I think the best thing to do is just end everything, but then im afraid of what will happen to my son. There is no way out for me, and im hopeless. Ive tried government agencies, who just laugh at me basically... i dont want to go back to being homeless on the streets, not with my baby. But i just cant stay here and i have no options anymore I just want to die. Thanks for listening.

[scorch_yogo]

life itself is a gift and ones you put an end to that gift no other solutions to any problem will come becasue of the. you'll just add more to the problem if you take that gift away..

[segagirl]

Glad you found us...

 

From the start. The first thing is you need to tackle one thing at a time. See when we have "everything" going wrong, it looks to big to handle. You need to pick one area to fix, accomplish and and then start with the next.

 

I would suggest you start with getting your history taken care of. Not much you can do with a law issue. Take care of that....as hard as it may seem.

 

Next with a diagnosis of BPD you should be on medications and be getting care. Most state departments have many programs for persons with mental illness. The Texas department of metal health can help you....at least with treatment and support. And also, you should be able to see how that can effect your choices in partners and relationships....esp. if untreated.

 

And what do you have to strive for...your child! Start small....like i said pick one thing to do first, then do it. You cannot solve all the issues at once.

[matt_20]

Yes as Segagirl says, take one step at a time.

 

It is to much to tackle to think of all of those things at once. But, it is definitely doable.

 

I know personally that my boss, I only work part time. Was in major credit trouble when he was in his early 20s. He sorted it out by working the third shift at Walmart and set himself on track.

[DoYouThinkYouCanTell]

I have bipolar disorder I have been locked up a few times and battled with addiction and I am only 20 years old. I managed to climb of all that for the most part, I now have moved out of my parents house, work full time, goto night school so I can get into UT and just got a lexus. I still have my bad days but I can deal with them. I think you need to get away. The environment your in is not any help at all. Their are places for abused women to go who have children to help them out trying finding out info on that.

 

Wish I could do more to help

-Josh-

[scorch_yogo]

suicide is not the solution to your problems. it cant solve any problem but it will add another problem and goes on and on. nobody could correct a mistake by making another mistake.

 

now, if thats your problem the first thing you should do is to live a very simple life. cut down too many expences that you have attend to the most important things you need to do. you should do these with extra care coz you cant afford to commit another mistake this time. taking the problem one step at the time. all basic things should be kept in proper disposition. there will be a lot of shortcomings along the way but these things are natural and you should treat them with patience. since you dont want your kid be taken away from you, you should always work not for youself but you always think for your kid so that work will easier.

 

deal things with patiences and with discipline. every mistake should be taken as your lessons to learn along the way.

 

God Bless...