what do you do when they pitifully text you?

[persuaded]

Hi guys,

 

Firstly I just wanted to say how great this site is... It has helped me so much through my break up...

 

My boyfriend of 7 years left me a month ago and we've had NC for a week and a half now. Today he texted me to tell me that he went through old letters and photos, crying... and that I deserve so much better.

 

I've been trying so hard not to think about him but and rebuild my self esteem but now his text has totally demolished me.

 

What do I do when he texts me? I know he sounds pitiful but do I just ignore him?

 

should I ignore him at Christmas and New Years and my birthday which is coming soon???

 

Help please... Panic attack. I lived and breathed for this relationship and now I don't know how to let go or how to maintain NC successfully...

 

one minute i hate him for being such a schmuck and the next I want to call him.

 

He has shown no signs of wanting to get back together. Just pitiful texting "You deserve better" ....

[Hope75]

Maybe you need to be firm with him.

 

Tell him that he absolutely crushed you with the breakup, and unless he is contacting you to talk about trying to work on the relationship, you just cannot talk with him, and respectfully ask him to leave you alone.

 

I'm sorry that you just went through this breakup.

 

((HUGS))

[amtjrtcet]

Yes, IGNORE him. It will only hurt you more to acknowledge his msgs. Him contacting you to say things like that is selfish of him.

 

I left my b/f of 6 yrs-for a number of reasons-but even though I've had moments where I missed him, saw old pictures of us, wanted to see how he was.........I didn't call him or contact him simply b/c I knew it would only make things harder for him.

 

Its hard to ignore someone you love and miss, but you have to.... Stay strong. When you're feeling like you want to contact him, post here. Its just a feeling, and feelings pass.

 

Hugs

[finewhine]

Michelleth is right - he's being totally selfish! My ex of 3.5 years pulled the same crap, and I didn't respond. He didn't really get the hint, though.

 

Unfortunately, for any long term relationship, you can rarely establish NC immediately after the initial breakup. You probably have some more stuff to work through with him before you both can let go completely. That said, your aim should be NC. Follow Hope's advice and let him know he CANNOT do this to you. There's no shame in that.

[mariemarie10]

maybe he's acyually missing you!

[SuperDave71]

YA DON'T RESPOND....

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Friend,

 

 

SuperDave71

[amtjrtcet]

maybe he's acyually missing you!

 

NO, if he was actually really truly missing her to the point of wanting to get back together, then he would do more then just a pathetic TEXT MSG.

 

When two people break up of course they'll miss eachother at some point. Still doesn't give him the right to tell her.

[persuaded]

Thanks guys...

 

sometimes you just need to hear it... I was so close to calling him but I stood firm and I didn't.

 

now i feel better and not so panicky...

[Hope75]

NO, if he was actually really truly missing her to the point of wanting to get back together, then he would do more then just a pathetic TEXT MSG.

 

When two people break up of course they'll miss eachother at some point. Still doesn't give him the right to tell her.

 

I would guess he is more alleviating his guilt of leaving her and hurting her... he is likely hurting too- but still not interested in taking her back or trying to work on the relationship.

[Iceman26]

Change your phone number. Eventually they will move on and bother someone else.