Why does this garbarge always happen to me?

[iceman85]

Hey guys, I have a weird situation here but I need advise because truly I am lost on this one.

 

After me and my ex were done I started to see this girl at work. Now this girl is 4.5 years younger than me and i'm 21. Yes I know about all of that, but for some reason it didnt seem to matter here.

 

Anyway, since July we have been on really good terms and went out for about a month. We talk to each other everyday even though we're technically not together. She tells me she loves me etc etc. I told her I really liked her to and it was too bad we were so far apart in age. She agreed there. She has tried to be with various other guys during this time since we technically weren't together. None of those worked. It was hard to go through that since I did develop some pretty strong feelings for her.

 

Well I saw her last weekend she sort of snuck out to see me, everything was cool and we just snuggled and watched a movie. Anyway yesterday she says she is done with the male species when I ask why she says she doesnt want to talk about it. I say fine whatever happened im sorry it did.

 

Now today she says she doesnt want to talk to me anymore and to leave her alone. I have no idea what brought this as she wont tell me. I just dont get why I always seem to find girls like this, they seem to be unstable and it can be something new everyday.

 

Simple question I guess is what is going on with her why would she all of a sudden do this? And why does it seem I usually get involved with people like this?

[Clementine orange]

Umm.... you're not trying to figure out women are you? Give up before you go crazy!

They are like the weather - totally unpredictable, well mostly.

[Sonidos]

Lets see... she's 17. I think she might either have said this to you as an excuse to move on or she is exploring the world. In either case, your place seems to be to also move on. Sorry.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

Given her age, she is probably doing it for attention and wants you eating out of her hand. Why not date a girl whom is closer to your age and that you have more in common with, instead of dating this girl whom plays silly games?

[iceman85]

I agree and really I knew from the start I was being stupid, but really she seemed like she was pretty mature for her age, otherwise I wouldnt have bothered. But I guess this shows her true colors. Its just disapointing because my ex did the same thing and completley changed and I was left in the cold.

 

And yeah I need to stop trying to figure out women

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

I have disagree about being more mature for her age. 17 is 17, a kid...When I was 21, I was nothing like I was when I was 17. It is my opinion that many teenagers, play the same silly games. I always considered myself to be more mature than my age when I was 17, I was working, making money, had my own car, had my parents' complete trust, joined clubs and so forth, but in the dating and love world, I played all those silly attention getting games. It goes with the age territory, IMO.

 

You both are in different life stages right now. It is important to be with a partner whom is right around the same page as you are or else you are going to run into these same issues.

[sweetheart21]

It sounds like she is angry that the 2 of you arent together! She obviously really likes you but you told her that you're 2 far apart in age. When you hung out and cuddled/ watched a movie she probably thought that you would get back together. When it didnt happen she would have felt confused and angry.

[Momene]

It sounds like she is angry that the 2 of you arent together! She obviously really likes you but you told her that you're 2 far apart in age. When you hung out and cuddled/ watched a movie she probably thought that you would get back together. When it didnt happen she would have felt confused and angry.

 

Yes, agree. You're both giving each other mixed signals. You BOTH need to decide whether to date or not. You're right to be concerned about the age gap but it isn's a completre barrier.

[turqoise]

just a guess about attracting the same kind of person. because I`ve asked the same question. I always attract/am interested in people who have had sad histories and are coming to terms with theri problems. I think in the end, people who are similar attract each other. My mum always says light attracts light, dark attracts dark. In my case, I think because I`ve been through emotinoal hardships in life, I`ve become sensitive in a way to this. When I think about it, it`s difficult for me to feel understood by someone who is totally cheerleader-happy-go-lucky. People I find interesting to talk to and can be comfortable just being silent with, have similar outlooks based not only on personlaity, but upbringing i think.

[miaxtina]

Well, I wish I could tell you what's going on with her but I cannot. She is obviously her own person and none of us on this end, can know what she's truly thinking. BUT I can tell you that at the age of 17, no matter HOW mature you are, things in general are UNSTABLE for you. There's all that high school drama, trying to do well on SAT's, getting good grades, activities, deciding on colleges or what to do after high school, becoming an adult. Life is crazy for everyone at that age.

 

I, myself, dated a 21-year old when I was a 17-year old senior. I adored him, and still to this day enjoy him very much as a friend. But there was awhile where we did not talk. This reconciliation occurred about a year ago. All of a sudden at age 17, I dumped him because I realized that I didn't like something about his lifestyle. That's it. Loved him to death, but all of a sudden didn't want to date him anymore over something completely random about him.

 

Even in my own dating experiences throughout college, I grew to be a more stable partner but came accross a TON of crappy guys who were very unstable. THEN I made the decision to date older men. This has been great for me.

 

If you're tired of the instability, just give older women a try. Not all of them are stable, but most are. (I hear they have higher sex drives too! ) You can still find stability in women your age or maybe even younger, but maybe it would be refreshing to date outside of your realm a little bit! Maybe you could learn a thing or two.

 

Good luck though!

[Momene]

I'm 51 and things aren't stable for me. Due to circumstances beyond my control, life's a big rollercoaster.

 

Any tips?

[iceman85]

sweetheart21 you were right on when you said she was upset/frustrated that we werent together.

 

After the initial explosion by her, we talked about why she had done that. She said that she wants to be with me but knows its pretty much impossible, that its so hard and that shes just so frustrated, she wants to try to do something else but is finding that difficult. That everything she ever told me she felt for me was from her heart and she meant it, its really hard on her and thats why shes been so frustrated and at times angry.