Please help me......

[bigthings46]

Hey everyone, I am pretty new here and would like to seek some advice from you guys. I apoligize in advance for this is a long one but I have alot to say.

 

This girl I was seeing pretty much cut me out of her life back in the end of August and I am taking it really hard. Here is a lil background for everyone. We started seeing each other in April of this year and I felt like we really connected. We always had fun when we were together, always joking around, had so many things in common and we never fought. I was out of work when we met and since it was summertime I was out being a maniac all summer since I had no responsabilities. I would go days without chatting to her but that was just because everytime I put alot of effort into a girl it has backfired on me and scared them away.

 

So on with the story. I would call her at some crazy * * * times but she was always there to take my call. So around july she starts having a talk with me asking where things are going , she wants to know since we have been seeing each other and sleeping together for 4 months. I told her that I was trying to take things slow and that I really liked her and enjoyed spending time with her . But there was no need for a crazy relationship. I told her I wanted to see her exclusivly and we seemed to be in good standing.

 

August rolls around and things are just like they have always been. I wind up picking up a new job and didn't call her for about 5 days. I was used to being up till 5am everynight partying and now I had to be up for 5am to go to work, so my first week was filled with work and sleep. I called her that Friday and we hung out, saturday moring she was hugging me and kissing me. I try calling her monday, no answer. Let a few days go by, try calling her again, no answer. I thought something was wrong so I pretty much blew up her phone but she never responded. So from then I wrote a email saying that she must of found someone better and that I was sorry for whatever I had done, since it must have been bad for her not to return my calls. Well she returns the email saying she was going thru alot and didnt want to talk to anyone, and that since I couldn't decide what I wanted( ie get serious) I guess that she was deciding for us and that would could be friends but that was about it. I wrote back saying that I thought we were dating and just taking things slow and that since I had feelings for her I couldn't be just her friend while she was seeing other dudes and never heard back from her.

 

Well about a week after that I was on vacation in Bermuda and decided to write her again asking if when I got home we could try and fix things cuz I really missed her. Wound up coming home to a message on my phone from her telling me to call when I got back and we could talk. So I come back, try to call and get no answer, call the next day, no answer. So now I am really fed up. So later that week I send an email just asking her to meet up with me for dinner so we can talk, and she replies with she would love to and that she really liked me alot but she was talking to someone else. Guess what happens, the next day she calls me and comes to meet me for dinner. Started off good till I asked what happened and layed my feelings for her on the table, telling her how I was finally doing things right and really wanted her to be a part of my life. She tells me she is seeing some kid who really likes her and wants her to be his GF and that she just doesnt know. She then pretty much tells me she needs time to decide. I text her a later that week but got no response till that monday when she sent me a text asking "so we really can't be friends" I respond with one saying " its either him or me" , never heard back from her. So about 2 weeks later I send another email saying how I missed her and if she gave me a chance I could make things better. She replied saying that she still thinks about me and misses me but things just have to be this way. I reply asking why? and dont get a response so I send another one saying thanks for the response and that she is messed up.

 

So now I go about a month without talking to her, I stopped trying to make contact with her. Then I make a giant mistake and try texting her saying hi. To my amazement she replies and says that she misses me. I tell her to call and she doesn't so I send her a text saying that I don't know why I even bother with her and that she sucks. 2 days later she texts me saying sorry for the other night. I called her immediately and wound up going over to her apartment and spending the night with her talking and laughing, cuddling and kissing. The next morning we went out for breakfast and everything seemed good. I felt like things just might be coming back. Before we parted ways she asked me what I was doing later that night and I told her I had plans but would call her later on and gave her a kiss. So I text her later that night just saying hi and don't get a response. The next day I get an email asking what I was doing later that night and I said that I was taking her to the movies and I would pick her up @ 8. She repsonds with " ooooo thats what I was thinking" and says she will see me later. Well I get a call about 1/2 an hour before I was suppose to meet her saying that an emergency came up and that she had to take her friend and god daughter to the hospital. I said that was fine and to call me the next day.

 

Well the next day I didn't get a call so I called and left a lil message saying that I was just calling to see how her day went, No response. Text her the next night just saying hi and that I had a good time with her the other night. No response. So 2 days later I send a text saying hi once again and don't get a response. So now I am really pissed. The next morning at around 930am I am standing looking out my front window seeing what my mother and bro are doing outside and guess who comes creeping up my street into my neighborhood. You got it the chic. She comes creeping by my house staring my car down and about 2 seconds later the phone starts ringing. She looked like she just rolled out of bed. I didn't answer my phone and I get a message saying " i just drove by your house and saw your car and decided I would call you but your not answering so BYE!!!!! I try and call a couple hours later and her phone is off so I left a message saying that I was calling to see what her deal was and that I was stupid for even trying cuz I knew it would go right to her mailbox, and that I was trying to be real with her but she wouldn't respond to me so to call me when she was done playing games.

 

Well that was last weekend and I haven't heard tried calling her at all. Then I look at my email on myspace yesterday and she left me a message saying "I know you hate me, I just want to say sorry.. for whateva reason why you hate me. =( ". * * * is that???????? So you drive by my house stalking me on a sat morning and not respond to any of my calls but now you want to say sorry for whatever reason????? I don't get it. We are both 26 years old so we are not little kids. I miss her like crazy. I always had fun with her. I don't know what to do now...she consumes my mind at work and at home. I haven't had fun in so long. It kills me that she won't talk to me. I feel like that one that is hated.

 

I just don't know if I should respond to that lil message or leave it alone. A part me wants to send one back saying that I was sorry for ever trying to make things right with her. Another part of me wants to send a message being soft and telling her how much I miss her. And then I feel like I just shouldn't say anything. I so want her back in my life and I so want to have her be my friend and talk to me. I know its probably wise to just move on but I can't phathom the thought of her being with anyone else and feel like I need to keep trying but Im afraid my trying to get her back isn't doing crap for me.

 

Can someone please give me some wise advice????????? Something instead of just saying move on???????????

[DMXtreme]

She is 26 and playing games? Thats what I see, she is toying with you. She might be confused, if thats the case you really do need to NC her (I swear I heard an echo) until she makes up her mind. Dont answer dont call dont speak to her until she makes a decision. But if she is toying with your emotions then STAY AWAY from her. I know you care for her but you should care more about yourself. You gave her chances to work it out and by keeping in contact with her and nothing has been solved, you still have questions and you still have your heart hurting...you know what you need to do. Be strong, it sucks alot I know but it;s the way to go.

[bigthings46]

Ya this really sucks. I know I should have just left things alone and not tried to call her and let her contact me but I was weak. I feel like such a clown for showing so much interest in her trying to call and text her all the time. I am on Day 10 of NC though. I still can't get her out of my head. I never did reply to her sorry message neither and that has been tough cuz I really wanted to write back but don't want to make myself look any more foolish.

[bigthings46]

o my god im f'in losing it right now............................... i really need help. i cant take this no more.

[Survictor]

This sounds like a very, very immature relationship.

[DMXtreme]

o my god im f'in losing it right now............................... i really need help. i cant take this no more.

 

You have to be strong for your own wellbeing. What you need to do is go out, do stuff and keep your mind off of her. Dont sit at home cause it will make you think. Dont let her hurt you anymore. You are not the only one in this position, I've seen it from others and I have been through it 3 times. NC, get out of the house and enjoy your new life without her. Be strong!

[bigthings46]

Well today is Day 14 of NC. Its been so hard............

[bigthings46]

I still feel like such crap. I was out all weekend talking to different chics but @ the end of the night I am right back where I started and heartbroken. Wed. night I went out with a girl that I have been friends with for about a 3 years and she brought a girlfriend of hers. I really had a thing for this friend of mine before and it was nice to see her but I just feel so outta touch with myself and messed up that I can't even want to try and put any effort into this friend of mine. Her friend was a real nice girl and kinda what I am looking for besides having a kid but I feel like that will open a whole other can of worms since I have a thing for my other friend. Im such a mess right now. This sucks.

[mikeca]

2 things that greatly helped me through NC

 

1. Gym. 2. Books

 

 

they both do wonders, one for the body, the other for the mind.

 

its actually inspired me to live a little philosophy.

 

Do something that affects your mind, body, and soul everyday.

[bigthings46]

Well its been almost 3 weeks since I made contact with her. She did try and contact me with that email saying sorry and that she knows I hate her and was sorry for whatever reason I hate her. I don't hate her but I chose to leave it alone. It still really hurts and I havent gotten her out of my head but I just hope it gets easier.

[bigthings46]

Well its has been 27 days since I have talked to her. She did text me the other night mad late but I never responded to her "hey". Thats all she wrote.