Question: Depression

[Budman]

Basically all my problems in between my fiance (or ex fiance and I are from depression, thats not my question

 

My question is:

 

Can people in a depression fall in love? Can people that went into a depression still love that person?

 

IF they love you and want to get help can you trust that they will still love you after they do?

[FortunateOne]

IMO, no, since to leave depression behind means to change your mental outlook on life. This causes one to want what they thought couldn't be had with relationships under the depressed mind set. This is what happened to me when I healed my mental state many years ago.

[Budman]

But I am unlike everything in her past, and I made her want to get help?

[FortunateOne]

The thing is if you're her mentally and emotionally healthy lover or the saving "therpist" that help her during her healing and self discovery. This is what she will decide when she's mentally well in the future. No one know, not even her right now how she will change her mind set.

 

And then there's your part in this. Are you her Knight in shining armor that's there to save her? This shows how you may need some assistance. People seem to think they can change others, but the truth is only she can change.

 

I think you can stick it out but remember that there will always be great a possibility that it won't work out.

[heloladies21]

I'm sorry to hear my friend, I hope everything works out for you and hope I can help especially after you gave me a very valuable piece of advice in the past.

 

So as far as depression is concerned, of course depressed couples fall and stay in love. It just becomes a problem when the depression alters the actions of the guy or if the guy is the source of the depression for the chick. I mean, chicks lean on the guys they're with when tough times occur unless the reason they're depressed is because they're with the guy and not convinced he's the one.

 

Honestly, my gut feeling tells me it's not being depressed that's causing the problems, more of a symptom. Maybe this is due to failing certain tests of hers (I'm still learning new ones everyday, but I have a pretty good list going).

 

Is there anything that she's been routinely complaining about?

[Biffy]

 

Honestly, my gut feeling tells me it's not being depressed that's causing the problems, more of a symptom. Maybe this is due to failing certain tests of hers (I'm still learning new ones everyday, but I have a pretty good list going).

 

These tests you speak of - can you start a thread with a list of them and how best to respond?

[Budman]

well I agree with what you said,

 

I'm not the one depressed I should mention (at least not that I know of it is entirely possible I suppose...

[itsallgrand]

I feel you can trust 100% that the person will love you still, during and after a depression, if they loved you to begin with and you treated them well throughout.

 

During the depression and healing, it may not be evident, and it may be hard to tell. She may even push you away - this happens a lot once a person begins to get well....

 

Doesn't mean they do not care. It is her issue, and it is a tough thing to go through, very confusing.

 

Basically, I'm not saying to trust in that she will want to be in a relationship with you again...because who can say, even she probably does not know...but if caring was there, it will remain and become clearer.

 

tc