her space

[thethird]

I am a guy in my first year at a very small college (actually grad school) right now. Anyway, I met this girl on the first day and fell head over frickin' heels for her. We hung out all the time, and developed a good friendship. I told her how I felt, and she told me to give it some time. We did, and then one night I asked her if she was ready to start a relationship. She said she was and we had a nice evening, but I may have been a little too giddy about the whole thing (saying corny stuff like "I've been waiting for this moment since I first met you" and "this is so wonderful"). The next week, she became unbelievably frigid. She avoided me on campus, and started screening her calls. I asked her what was going on, she said "I just don't know if this is what I want right now." I got a little upset, no insults or attacks were made. Later I asked her if everything had been ruined (I felt that it had). She said no it hasn't been ruined, but still hasn't said a word to me since then. Now, I understand the concepts of giving a woman her space, and playing it cool to become more desirable. I'm just afraid that if I hold on to any of the feelings I am having, I will just get hurt again. I'm also afraid that if I give her too much space, someone else will slide right in (no pun intended).

Anyway, could someone please tell me to forget this one, or hope that giving her space will wake her sorry ass up?

[sammy_jess1607306448]

Hi,

 

It was really interesting to read your message, it can't be nice being on the end where you don't know what the hells going on!!

 

How much do you know about this mystery girl? did she recently break up with someone else? does she hang around with guys and girls at college?

 

You have not given us much background on her, there must be more of a reason behind all this. Is she flirty with you? did you hang out with her alone or in a group?

 

so far without knowing much about her I get the feeling there is more to her, maybe one of three things:

 

I had a really great mate once (years ago), I knew he really liked me and I also liked him, he was also always asking me if we were going to get together. My excuse was that I had a boyfriend at the time. But my friend also knew that I didn't really like him very much. Eventually I broke with my boyfriend and the friend expected us to get it together, however I then discovered I really had just liked the attention and realised that I didn't actually fancy him. It was horrid of me, I explained best as I could, so we lost touch.

 

I am not saying this is what she wants, but girls do like attention and if you then have taken it a step further maybe she has realised that you are not the one for her.

 

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2. She is getting over a previous relationship and needs time to get over it, if so give her some more time and she'll come round.

 

 

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3. She has strict parents who want her to concentrate on her studies before she gets into any relastionship.

 

could be any reason behind this, don't wait around too long for her.

Move on.

[SwingFox]

Hi,

 

I hear it more often. Guys or girls needing space. It could be for any reason, but any reasoning is beyond the point. The thing that is really important is you.

 

You have a BIG obligation in life. The only obligation YOU have in life is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU can't make someone else happy. It's fine to wait for her or to go up to her once a while to make your point clear. I would suggest, though, to keep your eyes open meanwhile. After all: how long are you going to wait for her? A year? Five years? A decade? It can be anything between that.

 

I hope this gave you another point of view. Good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~